It’s almost impossible to keep up with college basketball and NBA basketball at the same time. So when mock draft season rolls around, it’s a time for us NBA bros to finally get to know these kids who are going to be owning the big leagues sooner or later. Unfortunately, that means we also don’t know much about the prospects.

Ergo, we have to learn on the fly. And that’s why I offer this literal mock draft to all you guys out there. It’s a way to learn exactly how you’re going to make fun of these new players once they grace the NBA hardwood. We did it last year, and we’re doing it now, so I guess it’s tradition around these parts. The order comes from DraftExpress, the zingers come from me. Lottery only. Leggo.

1. Cleveland Cavaliers — Nerlens Noel (C, 19, 7-0, 206, Kentucky, freshman)

“Hey Nerlens! Your name is Nerlens.”

2. Orlando Magic — Ben McLemore (SG, 20, 6-5, 189, Kansas, freshman)

“First Mark, then the rapper, now this — more like McLem-less.”

3. Washington Wizards — Anthony Bennett (PF, 20, 6-7, 239, UNLV, freshman)

“Anthony Bennett? I’ve always been more of a Francis Sinatra fan.”

4. Charlotte Bobcats — Victor Oladipo (SG/SF, 21, 6-4, 213, Indiana, junior)

“You’re named after the worst Beatles song.”

5. Phoenix Suns — Otto Porter (SF, 19, 6-8, 198, Georgetown, sophomore)

“Finally, someone to carry on the long and storied tradition of NBA superstars named ‘Otto.’ Finally.”

6. New Orleans Pelicans — Alex Len (C, 19, 7-1, 255, Maryland, sophomore)

“Don’t worry, bro. No one’s going to steal your sunshine.”

7. Sacramento Kings — Trey Burke (PG, 20, 6-1, 187, Michigan, sophomore)

There is literally nothing anyone can say bad about a guy who played at Michigan and is named “Trey.” Moving on.

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It should have been you, Dylan Bundy. After captivating the nerdy end of the baseball world last season with his effortlessly dispatching of the low minor leagues, Dylan Bundy eventually made his way to the big leagues at just 19-years old. It was Bundy’s world, he of the exorbitant contract demands as a high school pitcher from Oklahoma.

But an elbow injury slowed Dylan Bundy’s ascent to Major League stardom. In his place steps Kevin Gausman – the new hope for the next wave of Orioles starters. Unlike Bundy, who was brought up as a reliever, Gausman gets to jump right in and do the real thing: start against the Blue Jays in Toronto on Thursday.

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Happy humpday, y’all. On today’s podcast we covered:

* The success of the Bruins 4th line

* The struggles of Seguin and Jagr (despite not playing poorly)

* Quality goaltending

* Joey Thornton is a-okay

* Marleau’s accidental hit on Brown

* The quick whistle on Penner

* And much more

You can listen to it here:

Download it here, and subscribe on iTunes here. Facebook yay!

Chip Kelly’s NFL offense is the great secret of our time, or at least it is now that we have a definitive answer as to whether or not it’s pronounced “Gif” or “Jif”. Really, the Internet conundrum on that matter rages on, and one day it may divide nations.

So far, we still know little, mostly because those who speak of Kelly’s offense in any detail are murdered shortly thereafter. A few weeks ago LeSean McCoy dropped some vague hints, saying there will be much more running, and “different sets with different backs”. Intriguing indeed, and of course the fantasy implications of what this whizz kid may or may not do are widespread, especially if his innovations can bring Michael Vick back to life.

We also have the observations of the beat writers who have spent many hours at May practices as they watch, wait, watch, and eat. They’ve largely relayed a few fun but still expected facts: there will be a significant emphasis on speed, and very little huddling. Actually, “speed” may not be the appropriate word there, although it will certainly be featured in abundance. Instead, Kelly will likely emphasize pace, pushing it often.

But every time the subject of Kelly’s offense with the Eagles comes up and what he will or won’t do is debated by anyone of prominence, it’s been common to assume that he’ll just rip the covers off of his old Oregon playbooks, and slap the Eagles logo on them.

And that feels both wrong, and too easy.

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We’re now down to the semi-finals of the NHL 14 Cover Vote campaign and it’s down to the final 4: Pavel Datsyuk, Martin Brodeur, John Tavares and Sergei Bobrovsky.

We say farewell to 2 Toronto Maple Leafs who made it far into the campaign. Pavel Datsyuk narrowly defeated Joffrey Lupul in what was the tightest matchup of the last round. James van Riemsdyk made things interesting for Martin Brodeur as they battled for a spot in the semi’s, but Brodeur’s increased social media activity got him the W.

Semi-final voting runs until May 26^th at 11:59 PM ET. The winner of the cover vote will be revealed during the Stanley Cup Finals.

Sergio Garcia would like to remind us that racism still exists. Unfortunately, his method for doing so was not a public service announcement, but a joke aimed at Tiger Woods that referred to fried chicken. There are two things that are awful about this: 1) The public reinforcement of an incredibly demeaning stereotype that the majority of us would love to do away with; and 2) His attempt at irreverence wasn’t even remotely funny.

It all started two weeks ago during the Third Round at The Players Championship at Sawgrass. Tiger Woods decided to take a wood out of his bag – signifying to the crowd that he was going for the green on the par-five second hole – just as Sergio Garcia was taking his swing. The crowd cheered Woods’s decision, causing Garcia to slice his shot.

During a rain delay, Garcia vented some of his frustration while speaking with the Golf Channel:

Well, obviously Tiger was on the left and it was my turn to hit. He moved all the crowd that he needed to move, I waited for that. You do have a feel when the other guy is going to hit and right as I was in the top of the back-swing, he must have pulled a wood and everybody started screaming. So that didn’t help very much.

… and so it began.

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With the bevy of rumours, reports and general speculation over Bryan Colangelo’s job status running rampant over the last few weeks, we’ve already had plenty of time to assess Colangelo’s actions and words recently. On that note, I’m not going to spend any time on Colangelo’s conference call with the media from earlier today after it was announced that he was being relieved of his General Manager duties.

Having said that, new Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment CEO Tim Leiweke held a much more candid media call on Tuesday morning that is worth talking about, so here are some talking points from that call..

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