When it rains, it pours in Manchester (quite literally true). Manchester City are enduring their own heavy weather in the press as of late. If the football cliche is true (and really, they mostly are), then zero press beyond what happens on the football pitch equals titles in English football. Man City seem incapable of going a few days without another curious headline, ergo they’re going to tank in the Eee Pee El.
First we had Stramaccioni-gate, in which Mario Balotelli used his time off to a) not train b) schmooze at his old club in the middle of an intense title race and c) let the entire world know by walking in on the new Inter manager’s presser. Then we had a very public spat between Roberto Mancini and Balotelli at the Carrington training ground, which didn’t exactly bury the issue. All in the same week Patrick Vieira told the press that United get favourable calls from the refs at Old Trafford (which is undoubtedly true but best not spoken about in public).
As if all that wasn’t enough, today we have news that Sergio Aguero has smashed his foot and put himself out for two weeks in an incident so embarrassing, so moronic, that Mancini simply refused to tell reporters what it was. Which of course means there will be jokes, banter, BANTZ, hashtags, poor attempts at comedy, more hashtags, and more reason for United fans to point at Patrick Vieira and laugh. City can’t stop itself from plunging its hand into a bucket of chum to throw something new and horrible into the jumping, grunting seal that is the global football press.
In other words, they’re football’s Coronation Street, without the murders, Rosie Webster, or tram crashes. And unfortunately, there are no happy endings in soap operas.
Rollins waxes poetic after Toronto FC’s Wednesday result against Santos Laguna.
Santos Laguna: footballers or Shakespearean dramatists?
Them’s fightin’ words, Herculez!
Three questions ahead of Red Bulls v. Impact.
Martin Rennie’s got to take a leadership role at the Whitecaps.
FC Edmonton officially launch their new kit.
Breaking: Aston Villa’s Stylian Petrov diagnosed with leukemia.
City want Modric.
Kenny Dalglish says there’s no quick fix at Liverpool FC, which means he must be sacked immediately, by law.
Fernando Torres “may quit Chelsea.”
Spurs will attempt to poach Brendan Rodgers if Harry eff offs to England.
Chelsea in pursuit of Di Maria, allegedly.
Wenger gets his UEFA touchline ban. Again.
Terry Venebles believes the best thing for England is to rush the managerial appointment no matter what, because that’s what’s usually worked in the past forty six trophy-less years.
Jonathan Wilson says England are clueless.
Horncastle on David Silva.
Antonio Conte says Champions League means “life” for Juventus.
Serie A is in serious financial trouble, so like every other European domestic league save for the Bundesliga.
Bits and bobs
When Manchester United conceded a penalty at home.
Montpellier hope to keep Olivier Giroud around for a while.
You know a football blog has made it when…
Via Reddit, “90 Euros for a match ticket means 1 Euro a minute! This isn’t phone sex!”
The chivalrous Hand of God.
And that, give or take, is the story so far…