Kristian’s post from Tuesday, recollecting his favourite goals ever, inspired me to delve into the deeper recesses of my cerebral cortex, and dig out…  my least favourite goals of all time.  I’m sure there are many strikes that I have tucked away in an even deeper recess, goals that I needed to forget about in order to live a happy and productive life, but the following ten little gems managed to not only ruin my viewing pleasure, but in each case actually managed to dramatically alter my mood for several days.  What a saddo you may say, well, yes… indeed.  England and Liverpool fans, perhaps it’s best you hit that little X in the top right corner of the screen right now… do it!

Lawrie Sanchez for Wimbledon in the 1988 FA Cup final.  Bastard.

England decide not to close down the worlds premier attacking mid, in Luis Figo at Euro 2004. Bastard.

Mladen Petric rips any interest in Euro 2008 out of my heart. Bastard.

Javier Zanetti causes David Beckham a little strife for the next few years, cicrc World Cup 1998. Bastard.

Staying with the Argentina theme, one I actually hate to love. Diego. Bastard.

As if you’d think I’d forget about this one. I cried. I still do. Diego again. Bastard.

I remember crying over this one as well , my friends grandfather, a Gooner, actually died celebrating! Michael effing Thomas, 1989. Bastard.

Time now to thank some very special goalkeepers. To begin, Robert Green. Bastard.

Up next, David Seaman makes all of Englands fine play, mean utter shite, courtesy Ronaldinho. Bastard.

Must say, I still feel for Paul Robinson on this one, the turf? Not so much. Bastard grass.

England fans, you’ll get the irony on this one. Linesman. Bastard.

And to end… a little something from 1993, around the 3:15 mark. Gretzky. Dare I say it? Ok. Bastard.

Comments (8)

  1. Even you have to admit that the Zanetti goal was one of the most ingenious set pieces ever devised. I’ve seen triple option sets in the NCAA that weren’t that intricately designed.

  2. this is like my own personal nightmare reel. cheers.

  3. Oh James, you do know how to revive all the worst memories hiding in the catacombs of my brain. The fact that half of England’s worst ever reel can be attributed to Goalies makes me thank the soccer gods for Joe Hart! That Frank Lampard goal still boils my blood though. Just because he’s fat doesn’t mean his goals are worth shat!

  4. The Lampard “GOAL” and The Robert Green Howler stand out for me. When both incident happened i saw my dad a devoted England fan and Liverpool fan since he was born in 1961 give this expression first to me and then the TV. He wanted to punch out the TV And then said to me ” Son thank god your only 13 because i have had to deal with shit like this my whole life and i trying not to think this glass is the referees in charge.”

    With the Green howler, my dad’s apartment at the time was extremely close to scallyswags. when gerrard scored i could hear everyone was screaming and using profanity of course When Green howler aboustley killed the noise everyone was dead quiet.

  5. I was gonna suggest Figo’s goal yesterday, as it’s easily one of my favourites ever.

    Just note that it took place at Euro 2000 (Portugal’s comeback from 2-0 to win 3-2), not in 2004 (Portugal’s comeback from 2-1 in extras to win in penalties), or at World Cup 2006 for that matter (more penalty glory).

    Jeeze, how many times did England lose to the Portuguese last decade?

  6. Funny…these are all in my top 10 fav’s!

  7. You can also include the John Arne Riise own goal vs chelsea

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