On the same day the odious and often contemptible Martin Samuel of the Daily Mail defended the British press’ habit of hounding managers to their doom because the press is interested in “results,” the assembled press corps at Roy Hodgson’s official unveiling did everything in their power to demonstrate the press know absolutely fuck all about results, or indeed football at all, but instead in a grab bag of dime store narratives.

And so, supposedly on behalf of the British people, they expressed repeated outrage to FA executive David Bernstein, Sir Trevor Brooking, and Roy Hodgson himself over why Harry Redknapp wasn’t appointed in his stead. Not only that, but reportedly Mr. Results himself asked him over his association with the apartheid regime because of his stint as a player in the early 1970s in South Africa during the ban.

After that, it got fairly ridiculous, with the press clearly disappointed that after months of writing utter rubbish about Red Hot Harry’s inevitable move to the England national team, they didn’t get their Wheeler ‘n Dealer ready with the printable quotes (Hodgson, outside of one or two remarks on Redknapp, gave them mostly cage liner).

No involved questions over tactics. No questions on any player selection dilemmas outside of “Will Wayne go?” and “Will Steven Gerrard be captain?” No questions on English player development, the national set-up, the health of the lower leagues, the appalling small number of UEFA licenses in comparison with continental Europe. No questions on why the FA didn’t use the time they had to do an involved, detailed search, but instead simply pick three English names out of a hat and sit on them until the season had mostly concluded.

Those are the questions a “results eager” press would ask. Instead, we got tabloid fodder from an over-privileged, idiot sports press content to do no hard work, ask dumb questions, collect pay cheques, and then write op-eds on why they’re an indispensable sporting institution.