Image via Fark

I have this disturbing image of Sir Alex Ferguson standing behind Arsene Wenger, and whispering through Scotch soaked breath into his ear “yiz know the boy wonts oot, yiz know the boys coming here next year anyhoo, sign the deal laddie, doon’t be a radge.” In the image, Fergie is played by Trainspotting’s Begbie, and Wenger is played by the American tourist, also from Trainspotting. I digress.

I’m not sure what truth there is to the various reports that Fergie resorted to a personal, bridge building dialogue with Wenger in order to finalize the Robin Van Persie deal, but you know that Wenger hates himself for having to acquiesce. He didn’t have much choice mind you, but when the only club willing to pay the moola, and only club the player probably wants to go to just happens to be your second greatest enemy, then frankly you’re shit out of luck.

It does add some delicious spice to start the new season though doesn’t it? I think we can all forgive Arsenal fans who despite knowing better than most the horror of broken bones, if they are currently gathered outside the Emirates, in a group pray-off demanding that such a fate befalls their former son.
As for Manchester United fans? That IPO distraction may have fallen into a distant memory at the moment, with a chance to usurp the ridiculously noisy neighbours once again top of the agenda, and perhaps a real possibility.

Manchester City’s silence over the summer has actually been deafening. With all due respect to Jack Rodwell, every soul within the EuroZone has been paying close attention, ‘will City do something silly that will actually get our country out of debt?’ To date there has been no Eight Trillion Euro offer for Sotiris Ninis.

It has been the European Champions who have made the biggest splash to date, just how such highly skilled practitioners as Eden Hazard, Oscar and Marko Marin intend to fit into Bobby Di Matteo’s blanketing and vomit inducing defensive style of play I don’t know though. Wait? The owner won’t accept that style of play this season? Even though it finally got him what he’d been fantasizing about since 2003? Interesting, more spice!

It will take a brave person to suggest that a team, not already mentioned, will end up in the Top 4, and despite being many things, I am not brave, so that shall not be me. So, sorry Tottenham with your sexy, well dressed Harry replacement, Newcastle with your ridiculous continental scouting department, and Liverpool with those lovely new red nets, it looks to be a battle to win the second tier in your midst. And that’s ok, last season was as special a season as we’ve enjoyed in some time, and this season is looking like a bit of alright too, I telt you so.