Manchester City’s digital feed is a grab bag of candid behind the scenes moments. But let’s be honest. They’re too effing long. So for the latest video, I’ve helpfully annotated the best bits and included links to the relevant portions. You’re welcome.
1:27 Mario Balotelli arrives wearing toque and giant anti-social beatsbydre phones.
2:54 Andre Santos also sports b phones, in Brazilian colours. Nice.
3:02 Arsene Wenger chats with a steward as if he’s real people!
3:17 Arsene Wenger signs a child’s shirt, COMPLETELY UNAWARE THERE IS A CAMERA ON HIM.
3:36 Brian Kidd and Steve Bould are besties!
5:25 Joe Hart and others catch up on the Liverpool Man United game. Joe Hart eventually alerts the MC that United have won a penalty.
6:56 Wenger walks by Clichy and doesn’t say hello. Clichy says to Lescott, “It’s only been 9 years.” Then winks at the camera. Manchester City’s YouTube channel enters near-legendary status.
7:46 Santi Cazorla looks pants-shitting nervous ahead of the game.
8:44 Arsene Wenger and Patrick Vieira have a special moment.
8:51 Three mascots mug for the camera. One of them asks the other “If they have tickets.” They then proceed to brag about their awesome seats. Bastards.
9:22 Say what you will about Roberto Mancini, he’s pretty fatherly. Also, wait for “Hello Sergio!”
10:30 Super friends! Lescott and Arteta make nice from their Everton days, and shortly after Santi Cazorla, who clearly needed to make several nervous bathroom trips prior to the tunnel, almost bursts into tears at the sight of Spanish teammate David Silva. Javi Garcia comes in for some love as well. The Super Friends section ends with the two Ivorians Yaya Toure and Gervinho embracing. International football is what keeps us together.
12:06 Wenger’s giant coat is giant.
12:56 What’s disgusting Joe?
13:04 Oddly enough, the actual athletes step on the pitch during half-time.
15:20 “Oh look! It’s raining in Manchester!”
15:47 Tevez doesn’t like the rain. And Kolarov with a desperate cry for help.
16:00 Mario Balotelli with an ingenious solution to the weather problem.
16:15 Apparently Mark Viduka was a guest of the club that day.
17:23 Mario post-Mancini tunnel incident. Plus how class is Yaya Toure? As is Joe Hart.