Cris ain’t happy. Cris wants to get paid like he should. Cris scores goals nobody else can. Cris don’t like Messi and those boys at Barca. Cris heading to Paris.

This poor attempt at imitating a drug addict from Infinite Jest is brought to you by the big rumor of the day. While PSG’s pockets were thought to be emptied with reckless abandon it appears they may be bottomless – thanks to their potential “agreement” with club “sponsor” Qatar National Bank. From the boss man himself via Sky Sports:

“I don’t know if it is a transfer the club could do. Ronaldo is the symbol of Real Madrid. But which coach could state he doesn’t want Cristiano Ronaldo?” He told L’Equipe. “I believe he could play with Ibra without any trouble. Anyway they have the qualities to play together. “He added: “I don’t think it could set any trouble of egos. At Milan, I had a lot of players with strong characters, and we built an amazing team.”

Ambiguous enough and to be frank this sport is inundated by countless bullshit rumors that go nowhere. He’s not really saying anything here. Which coach could state he doesn’t want CR7? – no one, he’s right. L’Equipe asks a question like this in hopes of garnering a quote that leaves everything to the imagination. Well done folks. Club president Sheik Al Khelaifi denies there is any interest according to the report, but surely an experienced manager like the Carlo wouldn’t spout off and risk enraging his bosses by fueling the hysteria mills. Right?