Andre Villas-Boas is a symbol of sorts in the English press. More than a particular manager with his own set of pluses and minuses, a young man whose star probably burned a little too bright, too early, for the tabloid zombies (and the TV announcing crowd), he’s a scapegoat for the coming Intellectualism in Football. Look! He takes notes, and yet his team isn’t sitting top of the table! LET’S STOP THINKING THOUGHTS.

How else to explain the Daily Mail‘s preoccupation with his £5.99 notebook? Five full colour photos including zoom ups of its pages, a link to the site from whence you can order it, and a description of a football manager taking notes in a notebook as “pen and paper sideline antics.” What zany antics! Flipping through a book you took notes in! Another leading sub-header is entitled, “It is a bit unusual though, isn’t it?” I mean, really, no manager has ever previously taken notes on the sidelines. This is a shocking, and utterly contemptible practice imported from Germany, probably.

Yeah, what a goddamned nerd. Keep your notes, your diligence, and your attention to detail elsewhere. What football needs is leaders of men who know to tell his players when to get stuck in, when to throw it in the mixer, and when to use pace, power, and passion and a never-say-die-attitude to get the best out of your players. There is only one way to be a great football manager and that’s to have a Scottish accent and to generally appear like you could be really scary when you’re yelling.