The Guardian’s Sachin Nakrani took the dramatic route when describing Chelsea’s 5-1 victory over Southampton today. Rather than focus on Demba Ba’s two goal debut, Nakrani chose to take a different track with his lede:

As Fernando Torres sat on the substitutes’ bench and watched Chelsea haul themselves back into this tie, he may well have felt his humiliation was complete. It took the Spaniard 14 games, 732 minutes to be precise, to score his first goal for Chelsea after his £50m transfer from Liverpool in January 2011, and here was Demba Ba requiring just 61 minutes to get two on his debut for the club.

Yes, yes — Fernando Torres is spiraling into depression. The narrative is fueled with easy ‘haha you suck Torres’ tweets like this:

Fernando Torres will probably — always hedge your bets — never regain the form that made Chelsea doll out a ton of money for services. That said, not being the focal point of the Chelsea attack may help him in the end. For Benitez this is a good problem. Ride the hot hand. Meanwhile for those of you who don’t support Chelsea (or Sunderland and West Ham for that matter) friend of the blog Saurabh created this handy graph.