Remember last January when everyone bought those PSG shirts with Beckham on the back when all those rumours of some mad transfer were circulating? And maybe they felt a bit silly, and so either sold them quickly on eBay or held on to them in the vain hope that one day they might become a collector’s item?

Well, they can relax a little this morning:

David Beckham is expected to complete a lucrative move to Paris Saint-Germain on Thursday after choosing the Qatar-owned club ahead of 11 rival offers.

The 37-year-old midfielder is in Paris for a medical, and is expected to be unveiled at a press conference at 4pm on Thursday.

The former England captain is understood to have received offers from Europe, South America, North America, South Africa, Russia, China and the Middle East since he left Los Angeles Galaxy before Christmas.

I’ve always wanted to believe PSG was, at its core, a football club. But with a bona fide mascot, this club is quickly becoming a Baudrillard-esque parody, a footballing simulacra. Jean would no doubt be a fan. Here’s hoping we’ll see Becks vomiting on a variety of Ligue 1 touchlines this Spring…