I can’t stop looking. The image above stole 30 minutes of my life this morning. Though it’s undoubtedly the greatest thing I’ve ever seen, the games were pretty good as well. Alan Pardeux and Newcastle are ‘on the right track’ after a huge win at home, Arsenal vanquish Stoke in an unwatchable affair at the Emirates and Aston Villa Villa’s another one. To the time machine.

Newcastle 3-2 Chelsea

Moussa Sissoko will never have to buy a drink in Newcastle upon Tyne again. Two goals in the latter stages of the second half spoiled Demba Ba’s return to St.James Park. Also spoiling Ba’s return — getting kicked in the face. Rafa Benitez won’t survive the season. Juan Mata’s wonder strike in the 61st minute was straight up nasty.

Arsenal 1-0 Stoke

Arsenal new boy Nacho Monreal played well, holding down the left flank for an Arsenal side that deserved more than one goal on this day. Stoke was Stoke, offering absolutely nothing going forward. Referee Chris Foy got it right, overturning a dubious call from his linesman that disallowed Lukas Podolski’s deflected goal. Michael Owen and Ryan Shawcross decided to cover themselves in glory late, lodging questionable challenges that drew the ire of Jack Wilshere.

Everton 3-3 Aston Villa

If you’re into masochism start following the trials and tribulations of Aston Villa. Self loathing can only get you so far. Marouane Fellaini’s equalizer in the third minute of extra time was enough to salvage a point for the Toffees. Everton has taken 21 points from losing situations this year, a mark eclipsed only by Manchester United. If you run into a Villa supporter today give them a hug. Everybody hurts.

Wigan Athletic 2-2 Southampton

Shaun Maloney spoiled another premature funeral for the Latics. As neutrals welcomed Wigan’s annual dalliance with relegation, the Scot nicked an equalizer in the 90th minute. Southampton has thrown away 22 points from winning positions this year. The opposite of Everton basically. Wigan’s never say die, we’re not leaving mentality is both endearing and maddening at the same time. Keep on fighting the good fight. I guess?