After trying to come up with new variations of ‘Luis Suarez is a Vampire, haha’ I’ve given up. The racist, goal poaching, handball cheat has done it again (not my words). Here he is biting Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanović. This is going to be a fun week. You’re going to hear this a lot in the coming days, but this isn’t the first time L.S has been involved in blood extraction.

And then he tied the game in the final minute of injury time. Gif coming up shortly. Did I mention this is going to be a fun week?

Update: Mike Tyson is now following Luis Suarez on Twitter. All is right in the world.

Via @AndrewHaigh

Via @AndrewHaigh

Gif via @TFDOTCOM

Comments (30)

  1. they’ve talked do much trash about him might as well bite someone haha he’s like spicy food he bites twice! 96 min goal what a beauty!

  2. This has been the most beautiful Sunday in a while. Spurs beat City. Chelsea drop points. And Suarez provides the most delicious narrative in a while. Glad I started drinking early.

  3. A lot of nasty stuff in this game that the REF did nothing about – Chelsea players put it about in the first half then the ‘Pool players kicked the life out of Chelsea in the second half – but Suarez is NUTS and like Balotelli can’t control himself . A lengthy ban won’t really help this guy needs to see a psychology expert and it might be in ‘Pools long term interest to sell him now for big $$$ . Juve or Bayen will take him – Brendon Rogers is light weight and a bullshit artist and Liverpool should fire him !

    • Brendan Rodgers is light weight and a bullshit artist…but you surely can’t blame him for this madness?

  4. So what does Liverpool do in the offseason? If they don’t sell him, they’ll look like bush league enablers. If they do, they’ll be lucky to finish 12th.

  5. 3 games max. Sure it’s appalling, but you can break somebody’s leg and not get suspended or get 3 games max. so Appalling, disgusting, repeat offender, but 3 games… tops.

    • I’d say rest of the season. Even some of the potentially leg-breaking tackles (*cough* Sidwell) can be partially rationalized by claiming a player was caught up in the moment and got a bit over zealous. But going ape-shit crazy, grabbing a guy by the arm, and having a nibble is categorically different. It isn’t just a hard tackle too hard (or high) – it is an intentional act that has no legitimate equivalent if it was just toned down a bit. It completely violates the laws of the game, and when you throw in Suarez’s doooshy background, I think three games would be pretty light.

      • He got 7 for his bite at Ajax, so I’d say at least that.

        • I think you could say the same thing about the bite. Easily could be spur of the moment as much as a bad tacklet is.

          Just way more bizarre

          • Yes but a bad tackle done in the spur of the moment was – in most cases – intentioned to be a good tackle to get the ball off the other player. A bite is a bite. The intention was to bite. That’s not part of football like tackles are (where you make good and bad ones).

            Spur of the moment regardless, tackling is part of the game and biting completely goes against the laws. Like nam said, tone down a bad tackle and you get a good one, tone down a bite and you’re still batshit crazy for biting in a football match.

  6. he’s really insane though

  7. Suarez is crazy like zidane. I banned myself from posting but i feel compelled to point out what really happened. Clearly after giving the hand ball penalty suarez was enraged with the blood lust and sought out the nearest mortal. After feasting on ivanovic he summond dark forces to cloud the refs mind for 6 mins and 45sec while guiding the ball to him. I call for suarez to be banned for eternity and maybe a stake to the heart just to be safe

  8. From the Twitter trend #PlayersOnTheSuarezMenu

    Dishes included:

    Bacary Lasagne
    Pepper Rooney Pizza
    Pear Mertesacker
    Nacho Monreal…

  9. The FA should just use the precedent set by the Dutch FA when Suarez was last brought up for biting an opponent.

    Was it 7 games?

    • Except he’s (a) done this before, and (b) he’s already received lengthy FA bans. That’s why 7 should be doubled.

      SB

    • He should get seven. But it’s the FA so honestly. he’ll probably get 1 game and a “hefty” fine.

  10. We need more Suarez in our lives.

  11. Ok – that’s a little crazy – I can understand a player punching another player or something. But biting, thats just… wierd…

  12. Love how he throws his hand up for the penalty afterwards….lmao

  13. There’s too many politically correct, goody two-shoe like players, coaches, owners, media, etc out there anyways. I like seeing stuff like this every so often. Keeps things fresh and exciting. You know everyone feels as crazy and passionate about the game as Suarez, he just actually shows it by biting people!

    A handball, a last minute equalizer AND he bites somebody?! That’s a complete game ladies and gentelmen. I’m not offended because of some belief that he’s ruined the majestic purety of the beautiful game, I’m excited and can’t wait to tune in next week! Stop complaining and enjoy!

  14. how the living fuck does he call for the penalty after Ivanovic tosses him to the turf in the box? what an absolute turd. He needs some serious behavioural therapy. And his parents should be just horridly ashamed of what they have created.

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