Our weekly (sort of) rundown of the relevant numbers. Cheers to Harper’s mag and to Opta Joe, from whom I stole at least one of these facts.

Number of matches out of 52 that Bayern has failed to score in in all competitions this season: 1.

Scoreline of their defeat against Arsenal in this single game, the second leg of the round of 16 in the Champions League: 0-2.

Bayern Munich’s rank in the Bundesliga in possession, shots per game, pass accuracy, and aerial duels won respectively: 1.

Number of Bayern Munich European Cup wins: 5.

Number of European Cups Bayern won between 1973 and 1976: 3.

Number of sharp-edged weapons I could count in this photo of items seized in Lazio’s 1-0 Coppa Italia final win against Roma: 21.

Number of years Kevin Phillips has been playing professional football: 21.

Number of clubs Kevin Phillips has played for in that time: 9.

Number of midlands rivals he has played for: 3.

Number of years Kevin Phillips will be alive next August: 40.

Last year Crystal Palace was promoted to the Premier League: 2004.

Last year Crystal Palace was relegated from the Premier League: 2005.

Number of fans who signed an online petition in protest of Everton’s new crest: 16,000.

Number of years the two laurels, now removed, had been featured in Everton’s crest: 75.

Radamel Falco’s reported transfer fee for join AS Monaco: £51 million.

Total Borussia Dortmund wage bill in 2012: £63.5 million.

Final position of Monaco in their league table last season: 1st.

Division in which AS Monaco finished 1st: 2nd.

Number of different news outlets in a Google news search that used the expression “major statement of intent” in regard to Monaco’s transfer dealings in original articles: 6.