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Our weekly homage to Harper’s magazine. Special thanks to Opta, Infostrada, Simon Gleave, and James Horncastle, from whom I swiped some of these figures.

Total number of Manchester derbies, Rome derbies respectively: 166, 172.

Total AS Roma derby wins, draws, and SS Lazio derby wins respectively: 63, 61, 48.

Total Manchester United derby wins, draws, and Manchester City derby wins respectively: 69, 51, 46.

Total Rome derby goals scored for Roma, Lazio respectively: 210, 169.

Total Manchester derby goals scored for Man Utd and Man City respectively: 239, 233.

Rank of Everton, Borussia Dortmund in lowest number of cards issued in European football this season so far: 1.

Number of yellow cards shown to both sides since the start of the season: 2.

Chelsea’s wins, draws and losses in their last six matches in all competitions: 2, 1, 3.

Chelsea’s rank in the Premier League in Total Shots Ratio: 2.

Number of Champions League matches Chelsea has played so far this season: 1.

Number of home games Chelsea had gone undefeated in the Champions League before their 1-2 loss to Basel: 29.

Total number of losses for Chelsea in European Cup/Champions League history: 26.

Chelsea’s record against Swiss clubs in European competition: 3, 0, 2.

Rank of Inter Milan in most Europa League/UEFA Cup matches, goals, wins, draws, and all-time appearances for a single player: 1.

Number of minutes Fernando Llorente played in the 2010-11, 2011-12, and 2012-13 seasons respectively: 3171, 2248, 865.

Estimated transfer value for the Fernando Llorente in the 2010-11, 2011-12, and 2012-13 seasons respectively in £ millions: 15, 17.5, 22.

Average goals per match in the Premier League/First Division over 45 seasons: 2.61.

Current Premier League goals-per-game average: 1.95.

Chances based on historical record of 78 goals scored in 40 games played, the current Premier League statistic: 0.66%