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Any football on today?

Nah.

What’s the big story?

It’s that sweet spot again, the no man’s land between internationals and the resuming of hostilities in the domestic leagues, so the biggest news item involves FIFA confirming what people already knew. From ESPNFC:

FIFA has announced the seeds for the 2014 World Cup finals draw after the October World Rankings were released on Thursday.

As revealed by ESPN on Tuesday evening, hosts Brazil will be joined by Spain, Germany, Argentina, Colombia, Belgium, Uruguay and Switzerland.

The article goes on to reveal that, in the unlikely event that Uruguay fails to go through in its playoff against Jordan, the Netherlands will take its place. Now, you’ll note within that there is also no France, no Italy, no England, and no Portugal (who are still yet to go through). Lots of goodness to spread around the groups.

Come on, we know that’s really not the big story.

Fine. Here it is. I don’t even know how to begin. Basically at half time in England’s match against Poland, manager Roy Hodgson made reference to this story in order to ensure passes were being made through to Andros Townsend in the second half:

The joke is one that became popular at Nasa, the US space agency, in the 1960s and 1970s after it sent monkeys into space before humans. One version of the joke is that the first time Nasa sends a man up into space a monkey goes with him and does all the skilled technical jobs inside the rocket. Finally the astronaut gets frustrated and radios Nasa to ask what he should do.

Nasa replies: “Don’t touch anything – just feed the monkey.”

Now this leaked somehow, and the FA Kick it Out! Campaign got wind of it, Hodgson apologized to put out any fires, and the organization issued a statement to look into stopping this sort of thing from ever happening again. Also, this:

This is your guff to deal with, England. I’ve done my due diligence.

Any other interesting news?

Chicharito thanks God, AKA AMERICA!, for Mexico’s last chance at a World Cup berth.

And that’s kind of it, really. Oh, except for this completely and totally amazing story.

Any videos and stuff?

The Unbearable Sadness of Panama (h/t reddit/r/soccer):

Any good reads?

Fans get the shaft amid the Premier League’s incredible wealth, says some guy in the NYT

And Martin Samuel defends his national pride, which is always worth a read.