Anytime anyone I know asks what I write about for a living, and I say “soccer,” I get back—I would say maybe 35% of the time—”Such crazy hairstyles in soccer, eh?” At this point Mario Balotelli will be name-dropped followed by Valderrama, who in non-soccer circles is known as “that South American guy with the insane hair on the yellow team.”
Valderrama is a legendary player, but I’m certain his talent is overstated as a function of his hair. So when Twitter rumours surfaced he’d cut it off, Twitter’s poo hit the fan. KCKCKRKCKRKCKRKCKRS has the pertinent details:
The photos were distressing. The tears, real. Why would El Pibe do such a thing? What is more precious than the hair that made his amazing play in the 90s such a transcendent experience for millions of fans? Why did you do it, Carlos? Actually, he didn’t. Deep breaths.
Despite this news taking off like a shot around the Twittersphere, the images of Valderrama without his locks appear to be photoshopped. The source of the rumor is a Twitter account that appears to be that of El Pibe.
But it was a kind of authentic looking hoax account instead. Another sign the Internet is horrible. Anyway, any news story on Valderrama allows me to post a much-needed reminder Valderrama also played the football:
