Archive for the ‘Mario Balotelli’ Category

Mario Balotelli scored the winner for Italy, who beat Mexico 2-1 in Brazil. Here is the goal that did it. Always him. Always Mario.

That is the least surprising thing I’ve ever read.


So Mario Balotelli is on Twitter, which means AC Milan’s social media manager or whomever takes care of these things is now in a mad rush to set up a meeting with the player to discuss best practices, what constitutes online defamation, and why Vine cannot and should not be used by any player, ever.

We also know this is Mario (beyond the obvious fact that he’s taken photos of himself and others in the club have verified it, you party poopers) because there’s currently no avatar, and the Tweets are a disjointed mash of teenage nonsense (he’s only just out of his teens, you know).

Or are they?

While most right thinking people would question whether annotating a player’s Tweets is the best use of one’s time, this wrong-thinking person begs to differ. And so, Balo’s Tweets, annotated.

Cuckoo! A delicious pun that tells us “what time it is” (Mario time presumably!), and plays on the popular media perception of Mario as crazy. The selfie included features some empty seat behind Mario in his car, inviting us to be a passenger on the adventure Balotelli plans to take us on via his account.

Standard new Twitter user fare. We’re also introduced to Mario’s friend.

Mario in his car with an unidentified stranger! Or who is that? I’m probably supposed to know and now seem like a total idiot. Typical.

Shout out to Sean Wright-Phillips. Look! SWP in the news again! Balo’s using Twitter to connect. Gathering steam now.

The dog lover in his element. A banal selfie. This is a bit boring now, isn’t it?

An RT for a ludicrous hashtag. This is getting chummy and terrible. Already a typical player account. Dreadful news.

Friends with Neymar. Don’t see much potential there.

Thank you brother and best of luck to you. So this has all the potential of being a shit account. My prediction: a lot of deleted Tweets, perhaps some poorly translated insults, or some lame apologies for on-field behaviour. A real disappointment all around. Will need some improvement.


Hey look! Mario Balotelli did something bad and is now being punished for it!

Urgent breaking news aside, some important things for you to consider. First, the great Tom Dunmore, legendary editor of Pitch Invasion and one of the people behind XI Quarterly, is with the rest of his team running a reader drive for XI. Full disclosure: I’ve written something for their upcoming issue, but I have been an avid reader since issue the first. Their target is some incomprehensibly reasonable, you’d kind of be a weirdo not to at least consider it. It’s football with an in-depth, North American bent.

Second, friend of the blog and pod Jason Davis has started an intriguing new initiative—a daily, two-hour morning soccer show on the NASN network. Have a listen to the latest episode, with some fairly major heavy hitters as guests. If you like it, you should consider helping them out.

Third, the podcast will be recorded today, in time for your Champions League half-time break. So stay tuned…

Inter Milan v Barcelona - UEFA Champions League

April 20th, 2010

Mario Balotelli is enjoying an excellent run of form for both club and country. During a press conference ahead of Italy’s World Cup qualifier with Malta, Balotelli covered a myriad of topics, including racism, his perceived arrogance and the past.

There was the standard Super Mario fare: “I’ve never had a big head. I do not consider myself to be the best in the world, nor the worst. I am me and that is enough.”

More interestingly, was when he was asked about his biggest regret. Read the rest of this entry »

FC Internazionale Milano v AC Milan - Serie A

“It is completely my own fault if I haven’t won the Ballon d’Or yet. In this sport you need to sacrifice a lot, and when I was young I grew up without the norms many kids have. Even if I have a nice house or nice cars, sometimes I just want to live a normal life. I want to become the best player in the world and score a lot of goals.”

Can’t find much to quibble with there. Mario can be his own worst enemy at times, but the above indicates he recognizes there is much work to be done.

Quote via Matteo Bonnetti

Manchester City's Italian player Mario B


Whether it was the crazy ex that thought calling you at 4 am in the morning was a good idea or the ‘friend’ who found setting your hair on fire therapeutic, it’s not strange to miss the antics of zany characters that are no longer in your life.

James Milner is going through the grieving process right now, casting an envious eye at the folks in Milan who are enjoying the company–for now–of one Mario Balotelli.


“I miss him, to tell you the truth. He was crazy, he liked to be the centre of attention. It was like having a 12-year-old in the dressing room at times but he was harmless and I hope he does well in Milan – on the back pages of the paper rather than on the front.”

Milner added it was ‘very hard to hate him’ and that ‘he’d go off but half an hour later he would come back and apologise.’ Forget the antics, City could use his goals. The enigmatic striker has scored five times in five games for his new club, ushering Milan into a Champions League spot in a tumultuous campaign that has been buoyed by Balotelli’s arrival.

Mario did himself no favours in Manchester but a scandal thirsty press helped expedite his departure. In the end, both sides may be better off with distance between them. Just don’t forget to write.


Image via the Telegraph.

Is there a right way to commission a statue of yourself? After a restless night of sleep I’ve emerged with an answer. There is, in fact, a right way to ask a local artist to build a self-aggrandizing, cast metal, tribute to yourself.

Mario Balotelli asked Italian sculptor Livio Scarpella to create a statue that will immortalize Super Mario’s iconic ‘I’m the best’ pose following his second goal in the Euro 2012 semi-final.

Scarpella, via the Guardian:

“I presented several drawings but Mario wanted to be immortalised in a pose that shows him having scored a goal, highlighting his muscles and with an expression of defiance. I have imagined him as an athlete from ancient times and the statue will be a mix of classical and pop style in platinum and coloured bronze with the eyes made of stones.”

While that sounds amazing I fear for Scarpella’s health should Balo disapprove of the risky classical/pop mix. Read the rest of this entry »