Obviously feeling that their team lacked certain qualities– such as the ability to strike out predictably, and the ability to continue to look shocked at ones own laughable shittiness despite sucking bag for several years– the Tampa Bay Rays, it’s being reported, have signed Eric Shitske to a minor league deal.
You’ll remember that we last saw Shitske crying like a little girl after Brett Favre put in a Shitske-esque performance in a playoff loss to the Giants, and before that, celebrating wildly even though he did fuck all to help the Red Sox win the World Series. Apparently he also played for the Jays at some point a while back, but who could really remember?
The signing, of course, adds a whole new awesome dimension to the (Walt Disney) World Series, because Jays fans who weren’t quite feeling the rivalry between the DJF and a few Rays bloggers now have Shitske to rag on, which is always in style. And this also gives us a chance to smugly look down on those Rays fan fucks for the shit they’re trying to pull by hijacking our closer’s nickname, because we’ll gladly encourage them to use the name “Shitske”– though after they watch him for a few games they likely won’t need any prodding.