I wouldn’t doubt that Eric Hinske is actually a really nice guy, so it almost makes me feel like a dick for saying this, but, uh… is Shitske fucking kidding when he claims he understand why we boo him up here?!?

Let’s see if I can find a little reminder for him. Oh, I don’t know… does this ring a fucking bell!?! Because we got about three and a half years of that because this fucking scroat got a fat Rookie of the Year contract and then just got fat.

And not only were we offended by his suffocating levels of dumbfounded suckitude, we were pissed that our team had what seemed like gargantuan, mouth-breathing portions of its modest Moneyball-era budget tied up in a declining twenty-four-year-old who couldn’t make a clutch hit to save his life.

Sure, he was a team player, he always said the right things, he looked like he was really, really, really trying out there. But, man… he fucking sucked. And fairly or unfairly, in the minds of a lot of Jays fans, Shitske is symbolic of how all the promise and bluster of the Ricciardi era seems to have gone up in smoke. Or, as it were in Shitske’s case, in smoked meat.

There’s also kind of a belief that he might be a little bit dumb as fuck, which definitely doesn’t help. Now… perceptions like that, gleaned only by watching a guy from the stands, are usually completely unfounded (for example, I hear that Brandon League is actually pretty sharp, and I mean, what the fuck???) but with Shitske the aura of corn-fed stupidity really does seem to shine through pretty hard. Like, say, when he tells the Tampa Tribune that he doesn’t know why fans up here boo him– which he did on Wednesday– and then follows it up with a little gem like this:

“The only thing that makes them quiet is if you get a hit, so I just keep trying to get hits.”

If only we’d fucking known!

Rays skipper Joe Maddon also chimed in the Jays’ wonderful fans: “What’s going on with the booing?” Maddon asked local reporters. “He’s one of the nicest guys in the history of the United States and he gets booed in Canada. … Did he skip town with a couple parking tickets?”

Ooooh! Zinger!

Seriously, though. It’s because he fucking sucks. … Oh, you’ll see, Maddon. You’ll see!

Pre-Game Update
International League pitchers let out a collective shudder around 5:30 on Wednesday, as news broke that last week’s Jesus, the king of triple-A, Adam Lind, has been told by the Jays to pack his bags for Syracuse. This clears the way for the incomparable Jorge Velandia to join the Jays as the backup shortstop in the wake of a couple shitty things that happened Tuesday night, one of which, in particular, I’m not quite ready to talk about…

The Globe’s Jeff Blair (who, if the font size of his post is any indication, seems to be rapidly losing his sight) reports that Robinzon Diaz has injured his ankle and isn’t available for three weeks. He was likely to be up during inter-league play, and Blair suggests that “the Blue Jays are now officially scouring the trade market for a right-handed hitter, according to sources.”

No Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *