Hey folks, long time, no write. Since my last post (holy fuck, that long ago? And an obit? That’s telling), things haven’t changed so much. Still loving baseball with all my alcohol-soaked heart. It’s just that I’ve gotten lazier. And the fact I’m the only one of the three of us who didn’t manage to make writing this blog part of my official job description as well. … I’m not bitter, just lazy.

But with the weather changing and the start of the baseball season less than two weeks away, I’m feeling a renewed burst of energy that should be good for at least one half-assed post. Or half a half-assed post. Because with these positive changes come equally disappointing realizations. That after a too-short spring will come heat that, combined with the congestion in this city, makes it smell like a shit tank and that for the next two months we’d still rather be looking at a sheet of ice than the pastoral beauty of a baseball field.

Nowhere is this more evident than in Toronto’s bars. For some reason, until June you’re more likely to see two teams who aren’t your home team bashing the shit out of each other at your local watering hole while the Jays are playing. OK, if the Leafs did manage the totally mediocre feat of being the eighth best (or eighth worst) team in their division and squeak into the playoffs, I’d understand. But to suddenly pretend that I give a shit about other hockey teams because your home team didn’t make it? What’s that about? Have we all turned into Portuguese football fans?

Point is, the seasons are changing, both literally and sportally speaking. The beginning of the baseball season is a joyous time for Jays fans. For those first few games you can be at your optimistic best. Whether starting off with a 4-2 record or a 2-4 one, you can get yourself into a feverish excitement and think, “We’re only a game out of this. … You know, we might just win this fucker this year.” Two factors are at work in this city to deflate this excitement: 1) The team’s owners themselves airing the first two games of their second series on their piece of shit Sportsnet One, and 2) The bar that can broadcast these games for you has opted to show hockey instead.

I say this year should be different. Baseball-loving drunks unite and let your watering hole know that if they won’t play the Jays game for you, you don’t need their alcohol (I mean, you need alcohol, you’ll just get it somewhere else).

To celebrate the changing of seasons, we’re having a last-minute get-together at Opera Bob’s, who have so generously demonstrated in the past that you can show a baseball game with sound in a bar and still be full capacity. In anticipation of the season and to compliment our optimism, we’re going to be screening the Blue Jays 1992 & 1993 World Series DVD. Come share in the nostalgia and have it warm your heart with our past glories, or sadden your soul at the realization of how fucking stacked we were back then and really don’t have a prayer of competing this year. Whatever reaction you have, there will be delicious beer on tap to see you through it.

We get started at 6 p.m. tomorrow. Opera Bob’s is at 1112 Dundas Street West. Come by for a drink, talk about the upcoming season and shed a tear for Carter’s epic dinger. Hope to see you there. Go Jays.

Comments (54)

  1. Do you have to keep endorsing a hole in the wall bar?

  2. Opera Bob himself is a huge Jays fan, so probably, yes.

  3. Looking forward to a lot of sloppy drunken nights at the Bobs’ this summer!

  4. Needs more MS Paint Bergkamp

  5. can you make us a promise that at least once a month you will post here Bergy?

  6. HE LIVES.

  7. Not that I’m coming (living in SW Ontario now) but the last time I went to Opera Bob’s it didn’t open until 6pm. Hole in the wall INDEED.

  8. Time to wish the best for our flyboys and girls headed to Libya to kick some Ghaddafi- ass. Glad to see they’re going to have the right equipment to fight with instead of the paper airplanes that Chretien left.

  9. The more I here coming from Farrell the more I’m worried Lawrie is our starting at 3B on opening day. Fuck that. It seems like everyone is falling in love with the guy over 30 at bats. I love me some prospect porn but that would just be dumb to hand the guy the job, but Farrell hypes the kid up so much that I’d be shocked if Lawrie didn’t come north.

  10. what would you do if you met stoeten for the first time?

    A – punch him in the face for being such an asshole

    B – act like a 12 year old girl meeting justin beiber for the first time

  11. I’d rather watch video of the Drive of ’85.

  12. “That after a too-short spring will come heat that, combined with the congestion in this city, makes it smell like a shit tank and that for the next two months we’d still rather be looking at a sheet of ice than the pastoral beauty of a baseball field.”

    the best sentence I’ve ever read here (and I like a lot of the sentences here)

  13. Ha…Portuguese football fans. Bull’s eye!

  14. we’re getting there folks….only a little bit to go before the first broadcasted dinger
    and then only short after the first migraine via a SN1 dinger that I inevitably didn’t see cause rogers are a bunch of cocksucking money grabbing whores.

  15. dsa

  16. How do people not have access to SN1 yet? Isn’t, like, every cable company carrying it?

  17. Its included in the package I already had with my cable provider (Cogeco). Didn’t have to pay anything more for it, it was just added in.

  18. same with bell.

  19. how much do you pay to get sn1 package on bell?

  20. It should just be an add in. Nothing but Poker and games that should be on regular sportsnet since that station doesn’t show anything else worthwhile.

  21. “But to suddenly pretend that I give a shit about other hockey teams because your home team didn’t make it? What’s that about?” AMAZING

  22. howdy gangsters

  23. “Marc Rzepczynski has been told that he is out of the running for a spot in the rotation. Will now compete for bullpen job.”

    “Kyle Drabek, Jesse Litsch and Jo-Jo Reyes are now the remaining contenders for two spots in #BlueJays rotation”

    “Jays send D’Arnaud and Gose to minor league camp now have 18 position players left. Carry 13.”

    Via Chisholm and Griffin on twitter

  24. You should post here again, Bergkamp… Always thought they were funny.

  25. Cogeco has it free for digital subscribers so I am happy.

  26. I was a bartending Jays fan for a few seasons… Lost a lot of tips and probably some customers based on not wanting to watch Boston, or Washington, or some other Shitty American Hockey Team playing Some Other Shitty American Hockey Team (or worse, the Sens or Habs… I mean for fuck’s sake, we were in Waterloo, not Hull or some fucking town in Quebec) as opposed to hour hometown baseball team. They would call me unpatriotic for not wanting to watch hockey.
    I would call them cut off for being too drunk to see the sense of watching our hometown Toronto Blue Jays.
    Fucking Commnists.

  27. Unpatriotic? Fuck off puckheads, particularly if it’s teams nobody gives a shit about, and especially when the local team misses the playoffs. Is it not enough that 95% of the content of sports highlights shows are hockey related as it is? I would assume there was more than one TV in the bar. No need to have hockeyhockeyhockeyhockey on every single TV is there? Really? Sometimes loyalty to your team hurts. Ouch.

  28. @gregorMLB: #BlueJays Frank Francisco scheduled to get second opinion from Dr. James Andrews. Likely will take place on Tuesday.

  29. Associating hockey with patriotism honestly makes me not want to watch hockey.

    You know, like all those Canadian beer ads? “You’re a Canadian. You like beer. And hockey. And you never open a bedroom door when your roommate has put a SOCK on the Handle.”

    Ugh! FUCK YOU!

  30. I like hockey and the Leafs. Just the ‘you’re Canadian, so you have to like hockey’ thing irritates me and seems really contrived.

  31. Shit. That really doesn’t sound good.

  32. fuck hockey, don’t got no time for that shit when there’s paint drying and grass growing in baseball’s off season

  33. wait, wtf happened to francisco!?

  34. I’ve heard it described as tightness in the shoulder and lately they’re saying it’s tightness in the pectoral. Seems to only bother him when he throws from a mound, and not on flat ground. Hopefully he’ll be OK soon, but it is Dr. Andrews after all. #crosses fingers

  35. On Friday I saw Rzep throw four teribble innings. Jays had lead (Morrow pitched 4 strong), Rzep comes on in 5th and proceeds to shit the bed. 5 to 6 in the 9th, two men on, 3-2 count, and Rzep walks the batter. Farrell came out to get him. Sad sack. Though they gave him a long look.

  36. Scroll down past that shit about D-Bag A-Roid, and read an awesome boner inducing write by Kenny about Lawrie. Dude is a winner. And btw…..he was fucking safe, even my 8 year old could tell.


  37. What’s up with Lawrie’s nervous disorder? Arm raise, shirt yank. Arm raise, shirt yank. Fix glove. Crotch grab. Repeat.

  38. Lawrie definitely has some wheels. Looks like a muscly bull barreling down to first. A gazelle he ain’t.

  39. Canseco was fast as fuck for his first few years. He didnt look lika Gazelle.

  40. Lawrie is the real deal, no question. Travis who? Seriously.

  41. Good for you. I look forward to the day when the Jays highlights are first on Sportsnet

  42. “I was safe. The first-base coach thought I was safe. The umpire doesn’t really have his head on straight. I guess it’s spring training for him, too. But I got there.”

    If Lawrie turns out to be as good as he thinks he is, he’ll be the most exciting fucking player since I don’t even know who.

  43. Jose Cruz Jr. coulda, shoulda, woulda.

  44. “Milwaukee Brewers manager Ron Roenicke had some encouraging news on right-hander Shaun Marcum, who complained of shoulder stiffness in his last start Thursday.

    Roenicke said Saturday that Marcum would skip his next spring start scheduled for Tuesday, but is expecting Marcum to make his final start of the spring and then assume his spot in the rotation when the regular season begins.

    “He’s progressing,” Roenicke said. “They moved his shoulder around in the training room and it felt good. I don’t know when he’s scheduled to throw a bullpen (session), but it looks like he’ll skip just the one start.”"

    Good news for Marcum.

  45. Perhaps it is his left shoulder which is stiff?

  46. He’s got Jason Frasor disease.

  47. I wonder what it would be like to be around Lawrie after his 0-4 with three strikeouts. With his intensity, I bet he has some kind of temper.

  48. Yeah. I’m going to Vegas. I’ll tell you how he feels.

  49. From Wilner:

    “Francisco has no structural damage – inflammation in pec and biceps, will throw Sunday. Almost no chance for Opening Day. “

  50. Can someone point me to a good Jays blog, one like this one used to be when it still had a pulse?

  51. The best Jays blog is http://www.ghostrunneronfirst….

  52. Breath smells like, ketchup? Pork?

  53. Cock?

  54. Does anyone know if the Zaun twitter account is real?

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