The ball is just jumping off his bat. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he had a little cork in it.” – Hawk Harrelson, in-fucking-sufferable homer announcer for the Chicago White Sox.

Yesterday, rather than step into the horseshitty murk of making baseless PED accusations in the direction of Jose Bautista, Hawk Harrelson decided to go another, no less horseshitty direction, maybe not quite making the suggestion that Bautista might be corking his bat, but at least legitimizing whichever fucking shitstains among his audience might think the suggestion isn’t ridiculous.

Not only is it utterly fucking baseless to make the suggestion– not to mention unfair, and totally assholish– it’s also rather stupid, since corked bats do shit all. The MythBusters said so!

So, there’s one fucking moron for the day– albeit one who we pretty much knew about anyway, and one who, at least, faced Bautista after the game, though apparently he wasn’t quite man enough to bring up his ridiculous comments. “In a seemingly unrelated event,” writes John Lott of the National Post, “Harrelson made a visit to the Toronto clubhouse after the game, and, wearing a big grin, headed straight to Bautista’s locker. The two chatted amiably for a few minutes. Apparently, the content of Bautista’s bat did not come up.”

As for our second moron? We have the usually-excellent Larry Brown of Larry Brown Sports, whose audio clip of Harrelson’s statements is being passed all over the internet today.

On one hand it’s great to see Hawk’s dumbfuckery being spread and called out far and wide, unfortunately, the accompanying article features statements as completely brainless as anything Harrelson said.

“Many people have suspected Bautista of using PEDs, and given the amount of successful major leaguers who have been busted over time, that wouldn’t totally be unfair,” Larry writes.

Um… wrong. But we’ll get back to that in a moment. Later he lays this on us:

“Now Hawk’s throwing it out there that if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he’s corking his bat. Well Hawk, if you know better, then why did you suggest it? That to me sounds like someone so impressed you don’t believe what you’re seeing, and that you don’t think it’s natural. You might as well say he’s getting injections in the tunnel to the clubhouse between innings. If you don’t think he’s doing it, then don’t throw it out there.”

That actually sounds kinda bang on, until you notice that he concludes the previous paragraph with this statement about Bautista, “Still, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he were using some substances.”

I’m not sure how the hell that’s any different than Hawk’s comment– which is kinda odd, because I’m pretty sure he just told Hawk that “if you don’t think he’s doing it, then don’t throw it out there.”

All in all, though, I don’t think that would be so incredibly terrible… were it not for what Brown continues saying in the comments. “Plenty of star players who rose to prominence turned out to be juicing,” he writes, dickishly talking down to frequent DJF commenter Mick_In_Ithaca. “It would be naive to not at least consider the possibility. But I understand, you’re a big fan so you don’t want to think of the possibility. I get that.”

Later, he expands on/repeats that, saying that “given the amount of stars in the game who turned out to be using, it wouldn’t be a surprise to find out that Bautista were in something. I didn’t say he is, I said it wouldn’t be a surprise. And it really shouldn’t be one for anyone who’s paid attention. You just don’t want to think about it because it takes away from your enjoyment of the game and I understand that.”

Yes, Sigmund Freud. The only reason anyone gets defensive about PED whispers is that they’re forcing themselves to be blind to the possibility in order to save their enjoyment of Bautista’s performance. Nothing at all to do with the fact that it’s horrifically unfair to slag the guy without a fucking shred of anything vaguely resembling evidence. Or the fact that the sluggers of the past you’re grouping him with were many– not just one isolated player. Or that those steroid-era guys physically transformed into cartoonish monsters before our eyes. Or that, y’know, they played in an era where there was no drug testing.

Oh, but we’re the ones being naive. Not the people who think horseshit like: back when they didn’t test for PEDs tonnes of guys pumped themselves full of steroids until their forearms were the size of Jose Bautista’s thighs and hit a shitload of home runs, ergo, anyone who now hits home runs is a suspect, even though he’s passing tests left and right, there have been no perceptible physical changes in him, he started dropping bombs exactly when he changed his swing, and he’s apparently the only one who has found the magic, undetectable potion that makes it all possible.

Not a complete fucking farce of a disgrace of a completely baseless opinion at all, pal. But what else can we expect from a guy who… well… I’m not saying I think Larry Brown is a wife beater, I just wouldn’t be surprised if he is. But hey, if you want to be naive and ignore that possibility because it takes away from your enjoyment of his work, I get that.

Comments (56)

  1. Then there’s the guy who ranked MLB stadiums from best to worse, using some incredible technology called “Yelp reviews.” 
    http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.n

    The Rog came in last, and I’m sure it’s bottom 3 at best… but seriously, Yelp??

  2. Nate Silver gets some slack on that, I think.

  3. Awesome article, love the ending!

  4. A+

  5. At least we kicked the shit out of the Metrodome…and at least our park isn’t called Overstock.com Coliseum.

  6. Twenty years ago the Rogers Centre nee SkyDome would have been in the top 5.

    This is a horseshit piece of “number-crunching.”

  7. He gone!

  8. I’m electric!!

  9. Interesting that Yankee Stadium and Nationals Park both landed in the bottom ten, considering they both opened within the last five years.

  10. My favourite Bautista rumour that seems to circulate is that he can use Steroids and PEDs because he plays in Canada and there is nothing MLB can do about it. Also some other magical drug that can make a fringe player the best hitter in baseball. Just imagine how great A-Rod would have been had he access to PEDs… oh wait. 

    As for Chicago writers they come from a city full of retards and pander to that audience. Chicago and Illinois are so broke they might has well just rename themselves Detroit Part II. 

  11. As soon as I heard that from The Hawk, I thought fuck, have some fucking balls man. If you think he’s juicing, just come right out and say it. Don’t skirt around the issue using this chicken shit euphemism “If you didn’t know any better, you’d think his bat had cork in it” when what you really mean is “If you didn’t know any better, you’d think his body had PEDs in it”. If that’s what you believe, just say it. Then, to top it off he goes down to the clubhouse and kisses Jose’s ass after the game. Are you making a pre-emptive strike to reduce the fallout that you’ve got coming to you by making nicey nice with a guy, whose recent accomplishments you just called into question in the third largest market in North America and around the globe on MLB.tv? Have some fucking cahones man. Say it to his face. Ugh. Also, nice ending.

  12. Well done sir.

  13. Question:
    Do you care whether or not pro athletes use PED’s?
    If the answer is yes, then you can’t fault people for asking questions.
    Anyone paying attention knows that drug tests are more like IQ tests. You’re retarded if you get caught. So stop with this “he gets tested all the time” bullshit.

    If you don’t care about drug use in sports, then at least have the balls to admit it. Rather, applaud the writers you jump on for bringing the issue out in the open.

    For christ’s sake, pro sports is rife with drug use. Always has and always will be.

  14. Yeah really…Hawk Harrelson, Joe Cowley, Jay Mariotti, and the players sodomizing a couple of blow up dolls in the clubhouse a couple of years back. Stay classy Chicago.

  15. In case anyone ever throws the “Well they don’t test for HGH so he’s likely taking that” argument, flip’em this link:

    http://www.sabernomics.com/sab

    Turns out they might not/probably don’t do anything.

    “For starters, we know that a baseball player can beef up on steroids and improve his athletic performance. But most clinical studies suggest that HGH won’t help an athlete at all….So far, no one has been able to connect the increase in lean body tissue caused by HGH with enhancement of athletic performance. Unlike steroids, growth hormone hasn’t been shown to increase weight-lifting ability; in the lab, it has a greater effect on muscle definition than muscle strength. And it doesn’t seem to help much with cardiovascular fitness, either.”

  16. I’m not even married, so I’ve never beaten my wife. Girlfriend…now that is a different story, but everyone does that, don’t they?

  17. I don’t think most people really give a shit about atheletes using drugs. It’s just the retarded media that tricks the odd moron into thinking he does. These same dipshits that are so up in arms about steroids in baseball that they have to have congressional inquires completely turn a blind eye to pro-football and we know that sport has a massive drug culture.

  18. I hear you Larry. Sometimes those Vietnamese mail order girls get uppity and you got to put them into place. 

  19. “But what else can we expect from a guy who… well… I’m not saying I think Larry Brown is a wife beater, I just wouldn’t be surprised if he is. But hey, if you want to be naive and ignore that possibility because it takes away from your enjoyment of his work, I get that.”
    In a perfect world, this would become Brown’s Santorum, serving as a frothy warning to every other fucking hack who might keep this bullshit going.  Have at ‘em, internets.

  20. I have it on good authority that Joe Cowley raped and murder a boy back in 1997. I don’t have any evidence but I think we have to ask the question. 

  21. Shitcago and it’s announcers are typically American biased talking heads. Fuggitaboutit, I’ll bet my scrotum, and my mullett that JBau would never jeaprodize his career after all the shit that has gone on in the past 10 years with players.

  22. if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he might have cork in that child’s anus.

  23. It is true that Bautista could easily be getting past the drug tests with masking agents or simply undetectable stuff. Still doesn’t make it right to speculate as many are. 

    Can’t say I care whether pro athletes use steroids, so my enjoyment of his performance isn’t dependent on the idea that he’s clean anyway. 

  24. The reason I would like to see PEDs out of baseball is solely based on my personal preference for early to mid 1980s baseball (you know, when you came up Dave) when hitting 40 HR meant something and when baseball was a well rounded game. “Steroid Era” baseball, while fun at first, eventually became tiresome to me. I like to see bunting (when necessary), hitting and running (when necessary), aggressive (not stupid aggressive, but aggressive) baserunning and stealing strategies, along with the long ball at a “normal” rate. I’m far more interested when multiple strategies are being used to score runs. I don’t like to see offense become predictable and one thing the “steroid era” produced was predictable offense.

    Farrell has probably taken our offense a little bit far the other way, which also becomes predictable. If you know the other team likes to run around as if their hair’s on fire, chances are you’re gonna be ready for it. The running game has now been firmly established for this team. It’s time to break out the fake breaks, the delayed steals, stealing in non-stealing situations, not stealing in stealing situations and the same goes for the bunt and the hit and run just to mix it up, so that the other team can’t get a read on what you’re going to do in any given situation. That’s when you’ve got them where you want them.

  25. Agreed (mostly).
    Thing is I have no respect for anyone who tries to cover up the issue by shitting all over the messenger.
    This web site has “don’t give a shit” written all over it (like Vice mag circa ten years ago). Yet Stoeten continues to toe the line by shitting all over the messenger.
    I just wish he’d come out and say he doesn’t care, ’cause clearly he doesn’t.
    Do I think Bautista is juiced? Fucking right I do.
    But that doesn’t stop me from going to the park and sitting on the edge of my seat every time he comes to the plate.
    It’s called suspension of disbelief.

  26. If he’s using I’d be curious to know what it is, because the guy is tiny compared to the roiding beasts of the past decade. 

  27. absolutely that could be the case. But then he wouldn’t be the only one doing it. Not that that would make it right, but it seems like people are implying Bautista is the only player in the league on something just because he is hitting a lot of home runs. Which is completely insane and downright irresponsible.

  28. See A-Rod

  29. Where is Curtis Granderson in this discussion?  Gets a lot more home runs than he used to.  Looks like he bulked up just a bit.  Surprisingly effective at-bats…

    What’s he on?  Is he corking his bat?  Inquiring minds should want to know.

  30. I do care about athletes using PEDs, though I doubt nearly as much as the most self-righteous. I don’t think usage is a moral issue in its own right, but I have trouble with creating a culture– especially among younger pros and amateurs and kids– where you’re rewarded for doing drugs that we don’t really know enough about, or that are administered by people who aren’t physicians.

    So I guess my answer is yes, but I think you’re missing the point with your second statement. You say that you “can’t fault people for asking questions,” but yes, I can– because those “questions” aren’t really questions, they’re finger pointing slathered in cowardice, hiding behind the misappropriation of some journalistic notion. It’s fair to ask what place PEDs have in a sport, it’s not fair to single out one person and ask, is he on steroids? At that point the premise is pretty much already that he must be. It’s completely unfair unless there’s evidence.

    And listen, I’m as skeptical as anybody about the effectiveness of drug tests, but you’re absolutely wrong to say it’s bullshit to cite them. The leaked results of the supposedly-anonymous 2003 tests have told us about A-Rod, about Manny– who also failed an MLB test, as you know– and Ortiz, Sosa and Bonds as well. You may think Manny is just dumb and that’s why he’s not caught, but that players are caught shows that however guys are beating tests, if they are, is not foolproof.

    Regardless, if you looked, my argument really has little to do with the fact that he’s tested all the time, because yes, I’m skeptical of how effective the testing is. But in combination with the fact that it defies common sense that there seems to be only one person in baseball might be on this magical stuff, that he started taking it exactly when his swing changed, and that there have been no perceptible changes to his body type, it adds up to a very different situation than the one that lazy and shitty fucking writers want to frame it as. I applaud the reporters who went against the grain in the late nineties and were willing to put their reputations on the line to talk and ask questions about that stuff, but that was a pervasive culture throughout the game that wasn’t being addressed by MLB or the Union, and got to the point where it was obvious to anyone paying attention.

    If there were twenty Jose Bautistas and their heads and bodies were all swelling up like Ken Griffey Jr on the Simpsons, maybe then you’d have a PED angle to pursue. But what you have now is just lazy and stupid people shitting on a guy’s reputation because its easier than thinking through why it makes no sense to think for a second he’s done anything wrong, until we see even the slightest hint of anything that would make us question it. This isn’t a guy who came to camp one spring with 50 extra pounds of muscle– none of that kind of innuendo. And while such “evidence” would itself rather unfair to speculate on, with Bautista there isn’t even that much.

    The people questioning him aren’t people bringing hard questions into the open, they’re lazy hacks. Give us something tangible or shut up about it.

  31. Yes, or acting like steroids could actually do something like turn a career mediocrity into the equivalent of Barry Bonds. It’s ridiculous.

  32. Ha! I hope this is the real Larry. Glad you have a sense of humour about it at least.

  33. By the way, most of you might find this boring, but to the baseball purests out there who enjoy the game from all angles, I gotta a quick and interesting story for you.

    Last week against the Yankees(Tuesday night), when Franciso blew it in the 9th and the Yanks walked off, I was there in section 203.  Row 1, section 203 amoungst the slithering, rampageous, ruthless, some toothless, and mangy bleacher creatures.  It was actually refreshing to see a passionate subculture of wild fans amoungst generally a stadium full of yuppies and B movie actors. These beasts made me laugh…..non stop for 9 innings until the Jays lost…..but I still laughed all the way out of the gates.  This old guy next to me heard me cheering for the Jays in the first Inning and let out this creepy cackle and said in his east coast drawl, “dont lets the creatures know you from Torontooooooooo hahahahahahahah!”  Yikes, fucking horror movie character, get lost.

    The cops eyes were glue to the beasts throughout the game, ready to corrale any errant galloping gorrilla or Brooklyn Sasquatch that might claw at another impeding animal. The funny part was that I kept asking these cards how long they have been coming to these seats, and they would never tell me other than “for a while”with a big smile. One guy told me some history on the creatures, which I knew a bit about, except for this dame, named the Queen Bee.  He told me, “see that cop, she’s got just about as much power as he does!” If a fight breaks out, they dont intervene unless someone gets shot, it’s the Queen Bee that takes care of all the shit” I looked over at her, seriously, she resembled a 50 year diner waitress from a Tarantino movie, short bleached blond hair, a face like someone had lit it on fire an tried to put it out with a pick-axe, and temper that flared like a pack of hemmorroids.  I saw verbal fight explode between two sets of Yankee fans, 4 on 4 telling each other how fat their momma’s were. Then, out of nowhere, the Queen Bee swoops in and starts putting her finger right in their faces, somehow picks a winner, and tells the other group to sit the fuck down. And the best part is that they listen. If the Bee doesnt like you, then the cop tosses you. This guy also proceeds to tell me that she negotiates the prices every year of the bleachers, to keep the everyday blue collar New Yorker able to afford to make a game.

    Bald Vinnie is a T-shirt salesman and the Cow Bell Guy looks to be a few sanwiches short of a picnic, but he runs the chants other than roll call. The craziest part is, about 60% of these people have known each other for the past 10 plus years, just like one big, inbred, dysfunctional family.

    Moral of the story is, ya gotta go…..and sit in 203. If your a real fan of the game, dont miss before you strike out. Amazing.

    *Dislcaimer: This does not mean I am a Yankees fan, so fuck off if your thinking that. And fuck the Yankees, but god bless anyones passion for the game*

  34. I’m not covering up an issue, I don’t think there is an issue. And I’m not shitting on the messenger, I’m shitting on people trying to insist there’s an issue in defiance of all common sense and evidence to the contrary. Not to mention any sort of notion of fairness. Like I said, the situation now is very different than back then.

    But to add to what I explained above about not giving a shit, I certainly don’t think PED users should be barred from the Hall of Fame or anything like that– baseball let that stuff happen, and they should all be in. It’s not really a moral thing to me, so you’re right in that sense. But I am not in favour of PEDs for all, so I do think there should be testing.

  35. Really?

    You think a tweak of the swing is all it took?

    Count me in the camp of “I don’t care,” but there is no way in hell I think some wise words from a hitting coach turned his career around.

    In fact, it seems to me he’s overcompensating by playing up his studiousness and arriving at the park four hours early to study the tendencies of opposing pitchers. Why didn’t he do it before?

  36. Great read guys

  37. My computer is going to die, so I only have time to say the following:

    Please correct me if I’m wrong, but the tests you mentioned were leaked.

    Also, if you’re really concerned about rampant, unsupervised use of PED’s, test kids and amateurs.

    Pro sports is like theatre — which is to say it’s for entartainment purposes only.

  38. So let me get this straight.

    Basically, what you are suggesting near the beginning of this piece is that, if there were no such thing as corked bats, Albert Belle would likely be the single-season and career leader in dingers and rbi?

    Sweet.

  39. So, you base your opinion that he’s a cheater on a “feeling” and the idea that he’s overcompensating?

    Seriously?

    Dude, you have no idea what he did or didn’t do before, I don’t think you quite understand how steroids work– they do not turn mediocre players into Babe Ruth, they help you bulk up with muscle mass, something that there has been no perceptible change in for Bautista– and you still don’t have an answer of why he’s seemingly the only one in baseball to be on whatever it is you think he’s on, or why it must just happen to be a coincidence that he changed his swing at exactly the same time he started hitting home runs prodigiously.

    It takes the laziest fucking thinking imaginable to ignore all and just assume he must be juicing and beating the tests, and is especially offensive because you’re calling a guy a cheater in defiance of evidence and all common sense.

  40. Ballsy ending Stoeten. Love it.

  41. A-Rod is listed at 6’3 228 lbs, and that’s now that he got off the roids.  This is a link to some pics of how jacked he got.  http://geraldinho.fooyoh.com/g

    Bautista is 6’0 195 lbs, and looks nothing close to A-Rod

  42. Friendly Tiger fan here (living in Toronto).  We have to put up with Hawk Harrelson’s bullshit dumbfuckery for plenty of games per year, owing to the fact we’re both in the AL Central. We over at Bless You Boys hate that asshole; the phrase “CRAM IT, HAWK!” appears often on the message boards in regards to the Pale Hosers. So, you are very much not alone when it comes to your hatred of that man and his awful, awful work.

  43. “Like” this story? LOVE it.

    Signed,
    A Friendly Tiger Fan
    Torontonian
    Baseball Purist

  44. Thanks, dude!

  45. Holy fuck! Name checked on DJF. If that ain’t enough to moisten one’s panties on Memorial Day, I doesn’t know what is.

    Thanks Stoeten for doing a better job reaming Larry out than I did. The old ball and chain had me outside breaking up a concrete patio all day, and I spewed what I spewed during my ice tea breaks. If only I’d knocked her around a bit, maybe I could’ve had the day off and held up my end  a bit better. (I’m not saying I’d do that, but it wouldn’t surprise me.)

    To be honest, it wasn’t even Larry that got me going. It’s this fucking Berman asswipe, the one who posts a link to his idiotic “lifelong fan” blog at every opportunity when there’s an article somewhere about Bautista, pro or con. I’ve seen it in a dozen places at least. Anybody with time on his or her hands should go over there and dump some shit on him. He left a link on the Brown piece which now seems to be gone.

  46. nice read: but i do think bautista is on something… i swear the beast drinks monsters daily! and as frank would tell ya: no bull about it!

  47. and you will pay for it? get a life… and ps minor league baseball tests  for everything including pot. pissoff yankee fan…

  48. Let me see if I have this correct: A player needs to show physical signs of using PEDs in order to be questioned? Is that right? A player needs to have swollen up and developed cartoonish muscles in order for it to be OK for us to suspect PED use? I guess someone forgot that the very first player suspended by MLB’s drug testing was Alex Sanchez, a skinny outfielder who weighed 180 pounds and had six career home runs in 1,651 at-bats. Or what about skinny and lanky Mike Morse who was busted later in the year? How about Guillermo Mota? Two skinny rails, I don’t remember too many muscles on either of them.Oh yeah, Rafael Palmeiro — that guy was ripped. Of course he was using steroids! I’m sorry Bautista didn’t show up packing 20 pounds of muscle on him otherwise then it would have been OK to suspect things in your eyes, Andrew.I never pointed out Bautista individually, it’s too bad you didn’t read carefully enough to realize that. I think it’s fair to suspect that anyone having highly unusual success may be on something. Now if you disagree with that point, then you disagree, but I feel my viewpoint is valid given the culture within baseball that’s been created. I’m not trying to tell you how to think, I’m explaining my point of view and it’s fine to disagree. I think it’s a little sad you have to resort to the language you do in order to make your points, but I guess it’s to be expected with a site named “Drunk Jays Fans.”Your buddy 24_70 seemed to refute your comments and arguments pretty well. I guess just because he was in your forum you treated him well.Seems to me I responded fairly to two of your commenters — Mick in Ithaca in this thread and Fullmer Fan in another. I have no problem debating issues and being faced with opposing viewpoints. It’s just unfortunate some people don’t do so using more tact. 

  49. If steroids can turn a .235/.349/.408 batting line into .350/.498/.788 in less than two years I should be able to make the show out of spring training next year. These allegations are absolutely ridiculous.

  50. We’re just going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

    Prior to the introduction of testing, ball players were doping with the zeal of folks at the race track on welfare day.

    Formal testing forces players to adapt — i.e. microdosing at intervals in order to make it not so fucking obvious. I do not think he’s the only player in baseball to be on whatever it is he’s on.

    You’re right–I’ve never actually seen anyone jab a fucking syringe in their ass, so I can’t provide evidence. That said, just because people aren’t walking around looking like the Incredible Hulk does not mean they’re not on something.

    Prior to joining the Jays, Bautista epitomized the word mediocrity. If you think a few sweet nothings whispered into his ear was enough to turn everything around, then more power to ya.

  51. Yankee fan.

    Now that’s funny.

  52.  ”But I guess it’s to be expected with a site named “Drunk Jays Fans.”

    Holy shit-balls, you are one astute mother fucker!

  53. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Stoeten referred to as “Andrew” on this site. It’s his first name and all, but around here, all I’ve ever seen is Stoeten.

    There are some things about PEDs in baseball that I have no problem with people saying. I’m fine with people saying baseball’s PED testing program is not 100% bulletproof. The cheats are always ahead of the testing, just like criminals involved in other crimes are ahead of the authorities, or white collar criminals are constantly finding ways to exploit whatever loopholes they can find to profit as much as possible. Cool. I’m fine with people saying that in general we can’t trust anyone/everyone in the game to be clean. That’s fine too. Where I get pissed off is when people single out specific players, and throw them under the bus based on innuendo, or “statistical evidence” (he’s hitting way better than he ever did before = He’s on PEDs).

    I’m not just defending Bautista here. I’ll also defend Curtis Granderson, Ben Zobrist, Alex Avila, Kevin Youkilis, Russell Martin, Asdrubal Cabrera, and Robinson Cano (look at how huge his upper body’s gotten…gotta be PEDs) against their lazy, intellectually bankrupt armchair accusers and the rest of the Chatty Cathy Dolls screaming “PEDs” every time a player’s hard work over a long period of time seemingly out of nowhere results in a gigantic leap forward. Or have you forgotten about George Foster and Roger Maris, and others that I’m sure I could dig up if I wanted to? What a horrible disincentive it is for a modern baseball player to want to improve himself when if he does a really good job at it, he’ll face accusations that he cheated, whether he did or not, because of the Paul Bunyans that played in the 1990s, that he had nothing to do with, nor did he benefit from. The legacy that those guys passed onto today’s players is that they have to pee into a cup five times a year at random intervals, and that they better not improve too much or they’ll be labelled a cheat.

    If any of today’s players are proven to be cheats, fine throw ‘em under the bus, suspend their asses, lock ‘em up and throw away the key, hang ‘em from the highest tree etc etc etc. But to label them cheats now without a shred of credible evidence outside of “Look at teh stats dummy…Of course he’s juicing…Sheesh!” is slanderous and libelous and as Ken Rosenthal says in the article referenced below: “It needs to stop.” I couldn’t agree more. Article:

    http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/s

  54. You see, this is what I find so funny about those who accuse people like me of being “lazy, intellectually bankrupt accusers”: Those who hide behind the ‘never tested positive,’ ‘student of the game’ mantra are, in my opinion being lazy as hell.

    I’ve been around pro sports long enough to know what the fuck goes on. I’ve seen the denials and the PR spin created to throw people off the scent. I’ve seen the very people made out to be clean as the driven fucking snow fall hard.

    For me, it’s a case of fool me once, etc. etc. I’ve seen and heard so many lies that I automatically assume that if it looks to good to be real, it probably isn’t.

    I didn’t wake up one day and fit myself with a tin foil hat. My observations and feelings are based on precedent.

    With that said, I believe we should do away with drug testing. It’s as futile as North America’s “War on Drugs.”

  55. I wasn’t born yesterday. I fully understand the whole: “fool me once…” principle. That doesn’t make it right to accuse someone of something they may or may not have done, without a shred of credible evidence. Yes, there is lots of ugly precedent in sports for drug cheats, and yes there are people in all pro sports that are most likely drug cheats as we speak. That’s all good. What’s not OK as far as I’m concerned is to say that so and so must be cheating due to better (in this particular case much better) performance than in the past. That’s slander. The burden of proof is on the accuser, not the accused because the accused is innocent until proven guilty. If Jose Bautista is eventually caught cheating, throw the book at him, but until that happens, any speculation is just that: speculation.

    I don’t agree that we should do away with drug testing, and for me it’s not a moral issue. It’s an issue of what kind of baseball I prefer to watch. My favourite seasons from the past have usually featured an MLB wide scoring rate of somewhere between 4.0 and 4.5 R/G. Too much above or below that, and I get bored. The last time MLB had a league wide scoring rate significantly below 4.0 R/G, I was just a tot, but I would imagine that there wouldn’t be enough offensive excitement to keep me interested, and while the “steroid era” was fun for a while, I quickly became bored with it and found that the HR really became cheapened. By the time 2000 rolled around, offense spiked to a mind numbing 5.14 R/G and HR/G was at an all-time high. I realize I’m probably in the minority, but for me that is mind numbingly boring. I like to see baseball where 40 HR is a significant accomplishment, not an easy target.

    The other thing about doing away with testing is that those that argue in favour of it constantly use the argument that it’ll “level the playing field”. What a steaming pile. They forget about those who’ll refuse to use PEDs, not because they’re boy scouts or on moral/religious grounds, but because they don’t want to use something for which the long term consequences of use/abuse are not well known. We know all about backne, mood swings, testicular shrinkage, man boobs etc. What we don’t know about is what the long term health risks are, so you can’t level the playing field that way. I don’t think that those that are concerned about these risks should be put at a competitive disadvantage. The only way to do it is to keep adding on to the current protocols as tests for the various PEDs become available and practical, knowing full well that you can’t catch all the cheats, but trying to catch as many of them as you can.

  56. First of all, paragraphs for fuck’s sake.

    In what universe is the crap you spewed out even remotely responsible journalism?  Let’s compare apples to apples here.  You’re talking about a guy who is, in your mind, likely using PEDs to enhance his power, so the reasonable thing to do would be to look at other players who also used to enhance their power, not guys who were using ostensibly different drugs for alternate reasons.  Any of them look like cartoonish freaks?  Yeah.

    You REPEATEDLY pointed out Bautista individually, so that’s just a blatant lie.

    You also fail to come anywhere close to suggesting any reason why Bautista is the ONLY player who is benefiting from this magic drug, and why – despite a total lack of evidence to back you up – you can discount changes in mechanics out of hand.

    Stoeten did to you EXACTLY what you did to Jose Bautista, coming here and getting your panties in a bunch because you got called out for lazy, hackish drivel isn’t making you look like any less of a douchecanoe.

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