Brett Lawrie finally comes home tonight, making his Major League debut on Canadian soil tonight– an event that, like the tide being shifted by a full moon, has so disrupted the rhythms of our natural world that we can almost see the physical manifestation of its energy. Example? The horseshittingly-awful leading questions asked of Lawrie at the start of his pre-game scrum of the earth with reporters Tuesday at Rogers Centre, which surely couldn’t actually be serious questions educated journalists would ask anybody without being enacted upon by some kind of phantasmagorical spell of hackery. (“Hey Brett, could you please finish my heartstring-pulling patriotic shit swirl story with a stock quote straight out of your PR-counseling handbook of meaningless gibberish on how much the maple leaf means to you?”)

OK, so one voice might be from an actual child reporter (not sure, but not ruling it out), who can be forgiven for the questions completely lacking in depth. Aaaaand I do understand that this is how these sorts of things go. It’s just… Jesus. Some of it really is godawful stuff that I can’t possibly imagine anybody ever wanting to read about. Fortunately, things got considerably better by the end, and Lawrie proved to be a rather articulate interview. You can find the full audio at, or go check out the mp3 here.

Some lowlights:

Brett likes Canada. He feels good playing here. Rich Harden is also Canadian. He’s just going to go out there and play his game. His friends and family have been calling and texting and tweeting him.

And some highlights:

Credit where it’s due: the moment the whole thing started to turn around was when Richard Griffin spoke up, and actually respected Lawrie enough to not try to feed him an answer with the wording of his question, asking if he remembered the first time he’d been to the Rogers Centre in uniform. Lawrie’s answer wasn’t particularly interesting, but at least it moved the scrum beyond the outskirts of Dullardtown– or… at least, that’s how I heard things… maybe I just hate the fucking maple-horseshit angle…

Anyway, Lawrie explained a little about the work he’d done with Brian Butterfield to get adjusted to the turf– an issue he didn’t expect to be too troubling, given the shitty surfaces he’d been playing on in the PCL. He then revealed that the dirt he’d taken from the then-SkyDome when he was 9-years-old– the story being that he promised he’d put it back when he made the majors– is at his parents house, still in the Glosette Raisins box he’d originally put it in.

He also had all the right things to say about being looked up to by kids, having to work hard, and wanting to just go out there and have fun– and that coming into his first Major League camp with a new club he really wanted to try and make a good impression, and wanted to keep his ears open an learn from veterans like Bautista and Johnny Mac.

Griff really provides the clip’s peak, though, pulling the most out of Lawrie by asking, “With all due respect, what happened to the Brett Lawrie who, the day of the trade, said ‘I’m done with the minor leagues?’ ”

“Um… I think just growing as a professional, growing as a teammate, and growing as a person,” Lawrie replies. “I think it’s one of those things where you’ve got to look at yourself and just kind of wonder where you’re at, at your life and at your game. And I think just playing with the Toronto Blue Jays and having all these people in my corner– it’s been a while since I’ve had a lot of people in my corner– and it kind of feels like I’ve found a home here, and it’s kind of what can change you as a person and as a professional.”

Take that, Milwaukee Brewers!

TV: Sportsnet One

And now the lineups, by way of the live box score at

Toronto Blue Jays

Y. Escobar SS

E. Thames LF

J. Bautista RF

A. Lind 1B

E. Encarnacion DH

C. Rasmus CF

A. Hill 2B

J. Arencibia C

B. Lawrie 3B

B. Cecil LHP

Oakland A’s

J. Weeks 2B

C. Pennington SS

H. Matsui DH

J. Willingham LF

C. Jackson 1B

D. DeJesus RF

K. Suzuki C

R. Sweeney CF

S. Sizemore 3B

R. Harden RHP

Comments (110)

  1. Its hard to stand on something that small.

  2. 2009 WS NYY:
    Home-Road HR Splits: 136-108.

    Sign stealing. Obviously.

  3. Last Year: 115-86.

    Hmmm. which is more likely: Jays are doing something at home that other teams are not, or cocky teams’ pitchers took a while to figure out that Bautista can hit HRs in 2010?

  4. This sign stealing shit is only a story cuz the ESPN golden boys(Yankees and Red Sox) complained. If the Fucking A’s or Royals complained ESPN wouldn’t give a shit.

  5. I’ve been saying this all over the internet and I’ll say it here too. I have no idea if the Jays are stealing signs, but I hope they are. Good for them. The Yankees and Red Sox are collecting the fascination of the entire sports media and getting worldwide fame, and they’re paying their players more than a hundred million dollars a year more than anybody else, and the Jays (and Rays, and Orioles) are just supposed to sit there, with the schedule itself unbalanced against them, and play by the rules and let Boston and New York run roughshod over them year after year? Fairness is a two-way street, and I’m perfectly okay with the Jays doing whatever they think they have to do to compete.

  6. Agreed. Anthopolous wouldn’t let it happen, but I couldn’t give a shit if they were. Two teams put together lineups filled with everyone else’s All-Stars, have confirmed bias on the part of the umps in their home stadia, and — oh yeah, this:… I mean, no mystery “man in white,” that’s an actual dude relaying actual signs for the Yanks.  If you’ve ever seen that Lucky Ducky comic strip, that’s what Jose is to baseball writers. They won’t let this Joey Bats upstart make a fool outta them!!!! 

    The only two players baseball writers have ever been convinced were cheating have been Jose Bautisa and Jeff Bagwell. 

  7. Well yt…Ya gotta ask the question.

  8. …And if the fucking A’s or Royals were on the record with complaints, I might be willing to give this story more credence, but it’s just the Yankees and Red Sox using their unofficial network (read: bully pulpit) to gain an advantage. Ok, that’s a little grassy knoll like, but seriously…only the Yankees and Red Sox have gone on the record about this.

    Until I see some other team come forward with some evidence rather than anonymously sourced hearsay, I’m calling bullshit. For Christ sake guys, somebody’s got to have a cell phone down there in the bullpen, and last I checked, cell phones have…cameras. Put them to use or shut the fuck up.

    And next time the Red Sox and Yankees are here…Brushbacks to Adrian Gonzalez and Curtis Granderson…It’s on boys.

  9. here’s what it comes down to:
    they could have easily recorded the guy/behavior they are talking about. presumably they have video proof of it occuring over a period of time.

  10. “Possessing the gritty heart of a champion”…I spit coffee on my keyboard…

    Well played…

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