Holy shit, we forgot about Henderson Alvarez!

With all the horseshit surrounding the man in white and the Jays being called out as possibly the shittiest cheaters in the history of anything, we kinda didn’t have time to get excited about Henderson motherfucking Alvarez today. The flame-throwing right-hander debuts tonight in front of what should be– but, let’s be serious, won’t be– a sea of white in the outfield stands at Rogers Centre, and… keep an eye on the radar gun, folks, because things could get a little interesting.

But keep an even better eye out for breaking balls, because we’re told that those are going to be the key to his success as a big league starter– and while the pitch has reportedly come along well this year in New Hampshire, it’s by no means a finished product, and may never be. (In which case, oh well, he goes to the bullpen and lights shit the fuck up out there.)

Scuttlebutt

Speaking of things that, like Henderson Alvarez, kinda got forgotten in all of today’s commotion, apparently someone forgot to remind John Farrell that a guy with a .272 OBP is a terrible choice for a leadoff hitter, that Brett Lawrie might be pretty good, and that nobody should be hitting behind Aaron Hill.

John Lott of the National Post learns that Henderson Alvarez set a lofty goal for himself this year: to pitch for the Blue Jays. Can someone tell him next year he should make his goal to pitch in the World Series?

Do yourself a favour and watch the video at Sportsnet of an angry Alex Anthopoulos speaking to reporters this afternoon in his “this whole thing is stupid” press conference regarding the sign stealing allegations.

OK, one more thing on the sign stealing horseshit: Over at Stephen Amell’s Prelude to a Big Break he weighs in, and adds a description of a Sportscenter package that we haven’t been able to see up here in Canada yet– one which Bobby Valentine, on live TV after it aired, supposedly called it “unfair” and “misleading.” I gotta see this shit!

Strange Animal Watch

Dustin Mc-Lawrence-Gowan– the Strange Animal– made his first rehab start today for New Hampshire, getting through four innings on 43 pitches, allowing just one hit and walking two. Could this really be happening???

Shi Davidi tweets: “Blue Jays manager John Farrell says once minor-league games end in early Sept, McGowan ‘could very well be (assigned) right here.’ ”

TV: Sportsnet One

And now the lineups, by way of the live box score at theScore.com

Toronto Blue Jays

R. Davis LF

Y. Escobar SS

J. Bautista RF

A. Lind 1B

E. Encarnacion DH

C. Rasmus CF

A. Hill 2B

J. Arencibia C

B. Lawrie 3B

H. Alvarez RHP

Oakland Athletics of Philadelphia Kansas City Oakland

J. Weeks 2B

C. Pennington SS

H. Matsui DH

J. Willingham LF

D. DeJesus RF

C. Jackson 1B

R. Sweeney CF

K. Suzuki C

S. Sizemore 3B

G. Gonzalez LHP

* Note: I’ve adjusted the Jays’ record to reflect the number of games they should have won, based on all the cheating they’ve very obviously been doing.

Comments (128)

  1. I’d prefer Davis in the 9 hole, Lawrie batting 2nd, and put Escobar back at the leadoff spot.

  2. Davis should always be batting #9 when he gets a start.  

  3. McGowan pitched 4 scoreless innings facing the minimum (12 batters).  Another start, with more strides to a return and no set backs.Perhaps, only three more weeks (although it will probably be another month) until he gets called-up in September!

  4. Alvarez is the 3rd youngest starter in Jay history!

  5. First pitch only reads 96 mph.

    Bust!  Get rid of him now.

    I want 100!  I want Zumya…

  6. No stream I can find

  7. Has Aaron Hill just stopped caring?

  8. Nice one Hill…

    Time to trade Alvarez, he wont pitch a perfect game and hasn’t hit 100 mph yet.  I’ve seen enough of him.

  9.  Darn sportsnet one…anyone got a stream?

  10. I saw the 115-0 record and lost my shit.

  11. nuthin’? anyone have a stream?

  12. I can see the man in the white shirt on MLB Gameday!!!

  13. it looks so.

  14. Man in white strikes again!

  15. Argos.

    I really love posts that begin “I’d prefer….”. As if anyone in the Blue Jays org or on here gave a flying fuck what you’d prefer.

  16. Edwin Encarnacion is my favour Blue Jay.

  17. Please Colby do not leave  it in Aaron Hill’s hands

  18. Hill’s a fucktard. “He’s thrown the curve twice now for a strike, guess I better swing at this one in the dirt. At least I won’t look stupid and pop out!”

  19. Aaron Hill is a dream killer

  20. I feel  like I could steal on Alvarez with that pause in his delivery.

  21. They should give a fuck and make me manager.

  22. We should wear white shirts, wear cliched burglar masks and bring a whole bunch signs and pretend we stole them.

  23. alex: what can you give me for aaron hill

    other gm:  I give you dancing flower

  24. Is Hill fucking hammered out there? Error, late to the bag on a DP, and stumbling backwards to catch a routine pop fly? What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

  25. Luis Rivera wears a white shirt! He must be the guy in the stands!

  26. The hate on Hill has gone too far… we all get it, he’s struggling (or has just gotten terrible)… can we just bitch about Amy K. Nelson a bit more and leave Hiller alone?

  27. Got them white tees….Whitey sale…

  28. Hiller?

    Why not Hillsy?

  29. fuck colby is jose’s daddy in centre.

  30. No.

  31. Hillsy works, too… Tomato, Tomatoe really…

  32. I rather see Lawrie and Alverez make mistakes instead of seeing Nix or Jo Jo shit the bed.

  33. Shit! Shit! Shit! it was going so well.

  34. who’s that young kid sitting next to jmac?

  35. There is no joy in mudville, at least probably won’t have to see Rauch come in in a save situation

  36. Hill how about some redemption here

  37. Good try Hiller…you fucking prick

  38. Get glasses Buck you old cock! Fucking orgasming over a shallow fly ball.

  39. Hillsy McSuckass, he’s a sparkplug!

  40. The A’s broadcaster did the same thing.

  41. That was maybe the greatest check swing of all time.

  42. It’s endemic with Buck though.

  43. wasn’t ha’s fastball supposed to be 97? it’s only 93 same as zack

  44. this would explain why his k rates are so low

  45. bullshit speed guns in the minors

  46. He hit 96-97 early, didn’t he?

  47. His K rates are low because he has no semblence of a legit breaking ball.  I think I saw him attempt two the entire game.  Pitching with just a fastball and change is OK for a reliever but as a starter you are basically tying one hand behind your back.

    And why would you bunt with hill up next?

  48. I want to punch someone watching this bullshit bunt attempt.
    What is Farrell trying to accomplish here? Do we really care about moving up runs to tie this meaningless game?

    Isnt a young player better served learning to actually HIT in a pressure situations?!?!

  49. I dont think that 93 is his four seamer.  He is throwing his two seamer on those pitches

  50. that’s 2 times lind should have been thrown out at 2nd and gotten away with it.  the guy is a goof. the other time was in philly when the cf fell down.

  51. pinch hit mcdonald for hill

  52. Pinch hit Romero for Hill. 

  53. Why the fuck were they having Rasmus bunt?  Jeez.  Luckily he walked.  Here comes Hill to save us.

  54. its gonna be the Hill trifecta.

    Pop up, then K, and now the double play

  55. Alll riiiight the bases are loaded for AARON!!! This time he won’t pop up.

    That’s because this time he’ll hit into a double play.

  56. Hill got a hit!?  What??!

  57. Make them eat those words Hill

  58. Okay I was wrong. Sign him to another contract :^)

  59. Damn.  Hill getting a clutch hit with RISP – Amy K must be right after all…

  60. Yeah he did.

    JP Arencibia:  so many home run swings.

  61. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA

  62. GRAND SLAM LAWRIE!

  63. MAPLE BONERS!

  64. LAWRIE!!!!

    The man in white IS DA HOUSE

  65. ZERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS

  66. GORDIE DOUGIE IS THE GBOAT!

  67. CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  68. MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!

  69. Jerry:  “The electricity shat through the rogers centre”

  70. Climax of a Maple Boner, I need to get a towel now….

  71. Not gonna lie, I actually love how pumped up he gets.

    Now, lets see if he can settle himself for the next half inning.

  72. I blew a maple syrup load.

  73. Lawrie is the anti Hill

  74. Love the dugout reaction, but lover even more the calm at the plate before it.  Took a couple pitches, stayed patient, and made a nice short swing (pay attention JP) at a pitch he could handle.

  75. I am the man in white. I’m sorry it got this bad. I just thought it’d help Aaron and Vernon to put my hands up to show them how useless it is popping infield flies up every at bat. Clearly, they are not masters of the universe.

  76. If that was the bottom of the 9th, half the team would be dead right now from Lawrie celebrating – RR Cool Jay was both amused and terrified by Lawrie as he paced the dugout…

  77. It wasn’t that exciting after Juan Rivera hit a homerun

  78. I love Brett Lawrie with every inch of my Maple Boner.
    Jays!

    Loved Rasmus in the dugout too, he seems to be fitting in well!

  79. I love these “Throw vernon under the bus” commercials.

  80. I think Lawrie gets at least brushed back either today or tomorrow.  Gay ass baseball tradition and “unwritten rules” will dictate that you dont get pumped up after doing something great.  Its “showing up” the other team.

  81. I mean, it’s early, and it sounds like dougie/gordie-ing, but it wouldn’t shock me if Brett Lawrie becomes the biggest athlete in Canada over the next decade. If he hits, becomes what he projects to, it could be ridiculously special, on the field and what it does off it.

  82. sitting through an ineffective Trevor Miller outing is one of the monthly installment payments on picking up Rasmus.

    It sucks when the bill comes…but its still worth it.

  83. How many scrappy white guys can one team employ?  I mean Mark Ellis isn’t even on the A’s anymore but they’ve cloned him and sent him out to most positions.

    I think Hill would fit in perfectly well on this Hobbit scrappy white guy team.

    Nother MASH by MR. August and September.

  84. EE = Man on Fire

  85. will you stop whining for once and enjoy the game.

  86. that was fucking awsome

  87. At this point what the fuck is the point of starting Aaron Hill everyday??
    Johnny Mac can offer similar production, with better defense.

  88. Wait, shouldnt you be criticizing Rogers or claim that our entire team sucks?

  89. Also, pitchers will probably start throwing at Lawries head asap..

    However, I fully expect him to charge the mound.

  90. guess who’s not batting 9th tomorrow?

  91. Dude is a beast.

  92. Aaron Hill?

  93. you knew that was coming

  94. Oh yeah, bean ball starts early tonight.

  95. Hey you fucks.  Did you happend to catch what Dwayne Murphy had to say about Snider on the Fan today?

    He said that Travis Snider cannot hit big league fastballs.  In the minors they throw him junk and he can handle it. Up in the bigs though, he gets alot of heaters and cant handle them.  He then has to cheat to catch up to them and becomes equally shitty against junk. 

    Basically made my point that you have no chance if you cannot CRUSH fastballs.   if you can hit good ones, you can adjust to junk..not the other way around.

    Thank you Murphy for educating these commoners as to what I have been saying for two years.

  96. E5′s getting his bitch slapping gloves out.

  97. They were too afraid to throw at muscle man Lawrie so they threw at Escobar.  What a bunch of fags.

  98. aaron hill never has to worry about somebody throwing at his head

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