Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun isn’t a stranger to writing moronic things about baseball, and just in case you weren’t clear on where he stands on the being hopelessly fucking wrong about baseball or not question, in his latest piece– the absurdly-titled and even less thought through If Jays’ Farrell wants out, say so– his unsubstantiated shorthand for “John Farrell wasn’t great” last year is: “It’s not like Farrell came across as the next Tony LaRussa or anything.”


Um… newsflash: if you actually believe that a manager is capable of managing his way to a World Series title– which is stupid enough– and that Tony LaRussa is one of these otherworldly baseball geniuses, please account for the 30 baseball seasons LaRussa has managed that didn’t end in a championship– let alone the decision to let Marc Rzepczynski face Mike Napoli last night.

Or… actually, save your breath, because that’s not even what I want to talk about– it’s not anywhere close to the most irksome thing about this article.

No, what really sticks in my craw is the huffing and puffing of Simmons as he demands that John Farrell stand up and meet some kind of unusual and entirely unnecessary standard of conduct that the writer has completely pulled out of his own fucking ass.

“John Farrell needs to stand up and say something,” he says.

“He needs to be clear and concise and without any kind of contradiction,” he continues.

“He needs to say he’s not leaving the Blue Jays, that he has no intention of leaving the Jays, that he won’t consider any offer from the Boston Red Sox — or any other team — at this time,” Simmons writes, mountains of righteous indignation welling up inside his hollow head.

“And he needs to say it loudly, strongly, and with conviction.”

Um… OK. Why?

Could’ja maybe explain that one to me, Steve. Like, I don’t think it would be good for this situation to hang over the two clubs for months or anything, but… no one in their right mind could possibly expect that it would. Couldn’t we– I don’t know– give it a couple days? Or will the tidal wave of hysterical fucking lunatics you presume to make up the Jays’ fan base have, by then, risen up, cancelled their season tickets, burned down Rogers Centre and left downtown Toronto a smoldering hole?

Seriously though, what the fuck is with the ultimatum, and why the fuck has Steve Simmons taken it upon himself to issue it?

“As long as there are whispers about Farrell, any kind of whispers, anything with a loophole, this situation won’t be put to rest,” he writes. “It needs to end now. One way or the other. The Blue Jays deserve that. Toronto fans deserve that.”

Like… HE’S SO ADORABLE! Look at him, putting his newspaper man hat on like a big boy and getting the press card in it just so before he lets all the phony urgency bullshit dribble out his mouth.

Of course, it might not be so laughable if, y’know, he had a point. But insisting that the Jays and their fans can’t possibly wait another second without someone stroking their hands, telling them everything is alright? That the common courtesy of allowing a man to weigh his options at a time like this– completely fucking hypothetical as it may be– is a respect John Farrell doesn’t deserve? That this non-story that’s being so ferociously driven by a bored, cynical, hypercompetitive media clique demands answers now now now now now now now?

If there’s anything resembling a single reason in the goddamn world for any of that, um… how about you say so?

Comments (22)

  1. “John Farrell needs to stand up and say something,”

    Does Simmons know Farrell is currently at the bed side of his son who just had a tumor removed from his skull?

    Yeah, his first priority should definitely be to stand up and address rumours.

  2. “…ferociously driven by a bored, cynical, hypercompetitive media clique,”  No argument here. I think I would’ve thrown “sense of entitlement” in there too. I dont know, maybe even a few names. 

  3. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind if Farrell came out with a more definitive statement on his intentions sooner rather than later. The fact that he hasn’t done so is fueling the rumours and is leading some to believe that perhaps he does have interest in bolting to the fucking Red Sox.

  4. I think Farrell would have to be some kind of retard to take a Job with the Red Sox now.  He would never live it down.  You don’t just go to another team make a commitment for 3 years and then run like a little school girl if you have the same chance with the team you were with.  It doesn’t make sence. No what all this bullshit coming out of Boston is futile attempts to make themselves feel more superior than they are.  Their fans and media seem to need to feel it.. the team, well I think they are just arrogant pricks.

  5. Until the Red Sox actually have a GM in place, I have a hard time believing that they’re seriously searching for a field manager. Seems a little presumptuous, especially given the Jays’ open-door policy, to demand a statement of Farrell’s undying loyalty *before* any serious discussions about the Boston job.

    (I think Farrell would be crazy to walk into that Boston chaos, but wouldn’t hold it against him if that’s what he wants–how hard could it be to find a replacement-level manager, anyway?)

    Meanwhile, since it seems to have entirely escaped Simmons’ notice, there is still real, live, actual baseball still going on.

  6. I agree with Simmons. I want to hear Farrell give a definitive statement and not the wishy washy bullshit we heard.

  7. Like allisauce said, Farrell’s son has had (another) tumour removed from his skull.  I think that kind of event might distract someone from the most important thing in his life which would be making a statement to the press.

    Also if I was a Machiavelli like AA, even though I knew my guy would not be going over there, I wouldn’t necessarily be trumpeting that fact to the heavens.  Let the Sux think their wandering boy is coming home.  Let the Boston media emphasize how Farrell is The Guy, The Only One Who Can Save The Team.  Then see how demoralized they will become if he doesn’t take up the call.  Whichever manager they get is gonna feel like second-best to everyone up there.  A sad team is not a successful team.

    Make no mistake, both Beeston and AA already know how Farrell feels about this.  Sick kid or not, this has been discussed.  If Farrell does jump ship–and I’d be amazed if he went but dumber things have happened–he won’t be blindsiding the front office even if he might be blindsiding the media.

  8. But he already made a statement to the press. He could have made one a little more definitive.

  9. Well, what Simmons is saying is probably on the minds of the stupid majority of fans and media, and he’s not the only media member that’s turning this into a story about the Jays being a feeder system to the big boys when the story should be about Farrell himself and why the Jays supposedly have this Burke-ian organizational philosophy that basically allows any employee to dishonor their contract.

    At least Simmons has an opinion of Farrell, even if it is flawed, because most media types can’t judge what they see on the field for shit.

  10. So here is what has happened to date:

    1. Boston newspaper article quoting anonymous sources saying that some people in the Red Sox organization would like to have John Farrell be named as their next manager;

    2. Nobody can confirm if this story is true;

    3. People start calling Alex Anthopoulos a major league pussy because he doesn’t take the next flight out to Bean Town to knee cap the owner of the Boston Red Sox and anyone else who has eyes for his manager.

    4.  Stories/comments ensue about how this is a watershed moment for the “young Blue Jays GM” who isn’t all that because he “gave away Mike Napoli”;  

    4. John Farrell is pilloried by some because he won’t leave his son’s hospital bedside to declare to the world that he is first and always a Blue Jay and to prove this he will tattoo a picture of Ace the Jays’ mascot on his ass for good measure;

    5. Numerous columns, comments editorials are published talking about Toronto’s perennial role as a second class sports town that routinely get the shit end of the stick.  For good measure we are reminded that the Maple Leafs haven’t won the Stanley Cup since 1967 and we also get to hear that great story about how Antonio Davis gobsmacked to find out that his children were learning something about this thing called the “metric system”.  We also get to relive the Vince Carter saga and how Chris Bosh though that Toronto “smelled different”;

    6.  Mike Wilner appears on the Fan to remind Jays Talk listeners that they don’t know shit about baseball and in his typical smug condescending way tells everyone that there is nothing to see here and we should all just move along.  (As an aside it is always nice to get a touch of that cold Wilnerian arrogance while the Leafs are playing rather than when the boys of summer are plying their trade).  Oh yeah Wilner reminds us that we should all just be happy we have an MLB team here in Toronto so we should quit our whining.  Wilner also refuses to comment on the wisdom of trading Yunel Escobar, Brett Lawrie and Adeiny Hechavarria to the Cardinals for the rights to negotiate with Albert Pujols for the next couple of weeks (We can thank Jason from Ajax for that recommendation);

    7. Simmons goes ape-shit because this is a do or die moment for a major league baseball team that has been playing in bigs since 1977 (oh yeah good time to remind everyone that the first game was played in the snow).

    8.  Still to come:  the Toronto Star will publish an 18 part series on the history of sports in Toronto recounting the ways that we suck hard as a sports town.  

    So, basically a typical week for the Toronto sports scene.

  11. Well put.  And that’s also why Wilner is usually the least of all the evils in all this.  It’s not that he’s great, it’s that every other entity is SO FUCKING BAD.

  12. From MLBTR comments regarding the Yanks offseason:

    “Sign a pitcher.. keep scoring runs..
    this team doesn’t need much work.”


  13. Why?  How does it affect your life one way or another?  The sun will come up tomorrow, dude.

  14. Didn’t know this – Yanks fans are referring to Burnett as “A-Joke”

  15. McCown and Brunt made the same demand yesterday on Prime Time Sports.  This “We demand Farrell say something” bandwagon is getting pretty crowded…

  16. RT @BlueJays: BLUE JAYS STATEMENT on EMPLOYEE PERMISSION POLICY  “Due to the distraction caused by media speculation regarding our employee… (cont)

    RT @BlueJays: (cont) permission policy, the Toronto Blue Jays have amended their policy and will not grant permission for lateral moves.”

    RT @BlueJays: (cont) Quote from Paul Beeston, President & CEO &   Alex Anthopoulos, Senior V.P. Baseball Operations and General Manager

  17. Well, that settles that… Good on the Jays for not helping the Red Sox out of the hole that they’ve dug themselves in.

  18. If a Toronto Sun columnist writes something asinine in that tabloid and no one is around to read it, does it make a sound?

  19. That’s pretty much the truth.  They scored a tonne this year, didn’t give up as manyas 90% did, ran away with the East last I looked.

  20. Someone had to say something. I didn’t know about Farrell’s terrible family situation but he totally gets a pass. That’s brutal. However, his part of it was only half of the story and led to comments like Simmons’ that Farrell sucks as a manager and good riddence.  Those aren’t helpful for the organization.

    The other half of the story was senior management’s silence, or acceptance, to the idea that they would let him walk to a rival for a lateral job without any compensation. That was a head scratcher and was going to get them into a whole mess of trouble. Toronto fan are paranoid that their city is a second class sports town and is a feeder to the major cities.  This paranoia was exacerbated by managements attitude that is was good for the organization to let personell walk for nothing. Chicago didn’t do it but we were? The policy wasn’t helpful at all. Glad they stepped up and clarified things.  

  21. AA & Beeston were aware of Farrell’s son’s surgery.

    Thus they should have immediately quashed this rumour.

    Unless there was an opt out clause & they were afraid Farrell would leave.

    If there is an opt out clause, does it specify that it is only valid for GM jobs?

  22. I think it’s great that the Jays have at least tw0 and maybe three fans writing blogs that absolutely squash anything the mainstream media writes.  And by squash, I mean “are better than”.  A lot better.
    Thank god for the internet.

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