Congratu-fucking-lations ex-pitcher and apparent New York Yankee cock-gobbler Jeff Nelson, for your world-beating MLB Network Yankee knob-shining analysis of the rumours that the Jays have won the bidding for Yu Darvish.

“Well, once you’ve read that the Blue Jays could have blown everybody out of the water, for one reason– like you’ve said– is to get the Yankees off of him,” he crowed.

“With Toronto, you just mentioned, Joe, if they go and they win the posting, they have no intentions of signing him, probably,” he added. “In spending that money you’re talking, it’s up where Matsuzaka was, that’s over $100-million. You got $50- or $60- or whatever it costs for this posting fee for Darvish, and now you’re going to have to sign this guy probably to another $50- or $60-million deal, so I can’t see Toronto doing that. So they probably did for a little bit of a gamesmanship, playing a little poker, and saying, ‘you know what, I don’t have any intention, but I’m keeping him away from everybody else,” and then he goes back to Japan because those thirty days are up and it’s over.”

Thankfully for fans of sanity, Joe Sheehan was there next to him to remind Nelson that the Jays, while maybe not a high payroll club, are certainly a deep-pocketed one. Though he didn’t quite go as far as I might have in, y’know, curbstomping Nelson in his ridiculous fucking moron-place.

See for yourself…

Crotch grab in the direction of @Darth_Waderr for the link.

Comments (65)

  1. Idiots.

  2. Just another typical US media outlet finding a way to shit on the jays

  3. wow…  what a spectacular idiot

  4. I saw just one idiot…

  5. Nelson is the biggest idiot lol its because he supports the yankees watch aa sign darvish and goes up to nelson and tell him to suck it b****

  6. Obviously Jeff Nelson isn’t aware of the Blue Jays farm system and the additions that have been made in the past 2 years. Clearly this is a team which is in the process of adding those final pieces…which when combined with our future prospects….are going to be a force in the AL East in the next few seasons.

    Clearly the Jay’s bid was not to block the modest bid of the Yanks. Nelson also fails to realize the uproar from fans if the Jays won the bid…and then did not put a good faith effort to actually sign Darvish.

    If that happened…I wouldn’t be surprised if the Jays actually suffered a decline in attendance from fans out of protest.

  7. Oh Jeff Nelson, the guy who used to pitch for the Mariners and Yankees?  Nothin but a stupid ROOGY.

  8. Fatso: You are a complete fool for the way you talk about the money belonging to a gigantic conglomerate as if that money were your own. Hilarious. You sad, petty little dreamer.

  9. Joe Sheehan and Jeff Nelson perfectly represent the current two U.S. perspectives of the toronto blue jays. 

    in the case of Nelson he stills see the team as it was for the 10 years before AA, and still see’s the jays as a second class origination.

    in the case of Sheehan, he’s actually paid attention to what has been going on, from AA’a shrewd under the radar moves, to the “synergy”-fest that has been created by rogers.

  10. You had me until the last paragraph.

  11. I thought that Sheehan worked for the Jays…

  12. You know what? You’re right. 
    I cant tell you how many tweets I’ve seen over the past 48 hours from people who are shocked that the Blue Jays have a wealthy owner and are financially able to make a large bid.
    But of course it shouldnt come as a surprise to anyone who knows anything about the Jays.

  13. Thats the benefit of being an ex-athlete. You can know jack-all about the goings on in the sport and still keep your job as an “analyst”

  14. My favourite part is near the end where Nelson refuses to acknowledge anyone but the Yankees as “deep pocketed teams”. The guy has mental blinders on.

  15. Thought I would do some Japanese Googling again.

    Fresh from Darvish’s own blog today comes the rather daunting automatically translated news:
    He starts off by stating “Loss of one eye is over anyway!” before going on to talk about his weight loss program.

    That’ll be awesome if we pay $100m and it turns out that he has become a cyclops in the offseason. It almost sounds as if he’s expecting the other eye to go soon, so a cyclops may be the best we can hope for.

    Thank you Japanese Google!

  16. Unfortunately, clowns like this are not a rare breed. Twitter has been awash, recently, with comments along the lines of “I can’t imagine Darvish, who has dreams of playing in the MLB, would have any interest playing in Toronto.”
    I don’t really see this changing once Toronto really becomes a contender either.
    Many ignorant Americans don’t know the capitals of their own states, let alone the fact that Toronto’s the fifth largest city in North America behind only Los Angeles, New York, Chicago and Mexico City.

    I guess we’ll just have to get used to it.

  17. Alex would surely say: “Hi Mr. Nelson. Please suck it Mr. Bitch. The Toronto Blue Jays Baseball Club, while generally implementing a policy of not commenting on sphincter-resembling commentators, would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your support and understanding.”

  18. If this was a valid strategy then I’m surprised more teams aren’t using it just to troll the serious suitors.

  19. Jeff Nelson represents Yankee fans everywhere (including… sigh.. the occasional one or two in Canada… damn you Mark Beaton) who still are shocked by the Red Socks as an “upstart” team winning “their” division occasionally, and see the Blue Jays, Rays, and all the other teams in baseball as mere mile markers on the road to another championship ring for the Pinstriped Pinheads.

    To discount the value to the multi-platform media beast that is Rogers of an international star like Yu in a multi-cultural marketplace like Canada (especially the west coast) in terms of ratings for Jays games is ridiculous. If American media can contemplate the value add to a TV deal of having an Ichiro/Yao type player to expand interest in the sport on a team, what does it do to a team whose tv deal, or rather its role as a “content provider”, is its entire raison d’etre for its ownership.

    If you think of the Jays in these terms, as an essential loss leader for the marketing department of Rogers cable/wireless/internet/ever lovin’ space daddy knows what else they’re working on, then signing Yu (even, as many of the MSM trolls are suggesting, at the behest of the ownership, although I think its more likely that they may have simply told AA he had a blank cheque, not said go fetch you some YU) makes perfect sense.

  20. What’s more impressive is that he’s getting paid to offer his “analysis”… Way to provide quality information,!

  21. Sadly, I suspect that news may relate to Darvish’s elder child… though it maybe it isn’t bad news.

  22. On twitter Stoeten and Parkes are bring absolutely owned by Geoff Baker. OWNED.

  23. @AndrewStoeten Feel sorry for Toronto blog readers. Deserve better than corporate party line from guys defending team’s right not to competePWNED!

  24. Sweet fucking christ that was some really, really stupid ass shit. 

  25. Geoff Baker seems like he’s pissed off they ripped his lousy article to shreds, and now he’s twitter-venting at them. 

    I don’t really get what the whole argument is about, but Geoff Baker has resorted to using ‘I don’t read Blue Jays fan blogs’, I believe as an insult towards Parkes/Stoeten. Now whose the class act?

  26. Interesting choice of monniker Mr. Baker. I have to say it accurately represents the level of discussion you bring.

  27. I think it’s actually just a mistranslation. It’s just a post he made today about his weight loss program. His next sentence is “5 ~ 6kg I dropped three weeks (it was a good pace), who will drop 3 ~ 4kg 3kg back again in January”, before finishing the post talking about health management training for baseball players. 

    Most of his recent posts are on his training program, including videos of his workouts and he seems like a pretty private person.

    His latest twitter post (again auto-translated) reveals his excitement about the outcome of his posting: ”Drowsy. . Recently rolled sleeping (^ ^;”

  28. And with Chicago’s ongoing issue with white flight and Toronto being a hotbed for new immigrants, we’re going to be 4th by next decade. Houston’s coming up behind us though.

  29. “His latest twitter post (again auto-translated) reveals his excitement about the outcome of his posting: “Drowsy. . Recently rolled sleeping (^ ^;”"……………

    Hilarious. Game on the line? No problem for Yu… he’s wondering if he should cut down on the Fruit loops.

  30. As a voice of reason…..

    I can totally see why people are slagging on Darvish even wanting to play in Toronto. We really haven’t shown much out of here in the last 15 years.

    It’s time to put up or shut up, and stake our claim. Nobody’s gonna hand it to us any respect until we do.

  31. The only thing good about Jeff Nelson was his slider inmy  MVP Baseball 2005 video game.  What a complete Moron comment. 

  32. Not the case. MLBNetwork doesn’t shit on the Jays, in fact, they generally praise them and especially AA. This was just Jeff Nelson speaking out his ass and back peddling to try and save himself.

  33. Still weren’t getting that much respect in their heyday either, though. From other organizations, yes. And that remains true today. A lot of baseball people are starting to take notice.

    But the average American baseball fan, and ill-informed broadcast monkey (see: Jeff Nelson) is never going to give Toronto the respect it deserves.

  34. That was absolutely ridiculous. My favourite part was when that jerk off sympathizes for Darvish because the Jays are blocking him from his dream. What a tool.

    I can’t believe MLB puts a guy on to do analysis on a situation when he does not have the first clue as to what he is talking about. To have someone as uninformed that that douche commenting on this is a complete embarrassment.

    I read that Japanese infielder Hiroyuki Nakajimathat doesn’t want to sign with the Yankees because he’s blocked. He was hoping Boston would win the bid and wanted to play there. You know, it’s really unfortunate that the Yankees would intentionally bid on someone they have no intention of playing. Preventing him from going to a team where he could play is just an asshole move. It’s ruining his dream.


  35. Unfortunately I think Jeff Nelson represents the opinion of a lot of current major league baseball players, they just have no idea about what’s going on in Toronto and assume it’s a small market.

  36. Scary thought is that most players probably view the Jays the very same way.

  37. I don’t think those comments were smart enough to warrant being in the book of Morons.

  38. I didn’t think this was Jays slamming to the degree that everyone here believes (mops Nelson cum from lips). However, they should have acknowledged the concept of the Jays bidding to win to negotiate a reasonable, non-bloated contract with Darvish or otherwise having him stay in Japan as win-win strategy. I can’t accept that they’d post this bid to offer a super low-ball offer to keep him away from other teams until 2012…

    Nelson’s countenance is definitely sickening…

  39. We need MLB Network guys like Al Lieter and Dan Plesac to educate the ingorance towards canada. 

  40. You don’t deserve respect when you haven’t sniffed the playoffs in 20 years.

  41. Al Leiter, the fuck, couldn’t wait to get out of Canada.

  42. FUCK. I just fucking hate Americans. They’re such fucktards. Of course, not all of them. But such a giant fucking cluster fuck number of them are. Fucking inbreeders. 

  43. Top 4 Reasons the Yu Darvish Posting Pocess is like an Episode of Storage Wars

    sorry in advance if this has already been posted

  44. Good point on the 20 years comment.  and yes Al Leiter could have been a little more respectful to the team that gave “Mr. Blister” chance after chance to prove himself.  It appeared as though Plesac really enjoyed his stay in T.O.

  45. If it’s true of the report that Rogers said to “get this guy at any cost”, I would love to have known how that decision transpired?

    Could it be that Fulmer_Fan started a butterfly effect?

  46. Did you read what I said? We didn’t have respect from the average American when they WERE in the playoffs.

    I know you’re  a Sun reader, so maybe I should have attached some pictures or used a bigger font.

  47. I thought I was watching something on The Onion.

  48. Hey Nelson!  AA actually don’t give a flyin fuck about the Yankees or their intentions. He’s just out to build a winner in Toronto the best way he can.

  49. I can see both sides of this one. Two years ago the Jays were trading away Halladay because they have no chance of winning in the near future. Last year they were dumping salary (Wells). If you haven’t been following the team fairly closely bidding on Darvish makes no sense. Especially to center-of-the-universe Yankees supporters.

    Jays fans, however, know different. We know the difference between the 2012- 13 Jays and the teams from recent years. We understand why Halladay was traded, what has happened since in terms of drafting and international signings, how the pipeline of prospects has grown, and how we start next year with players like Rasmus, Lawrie, and Johnson instead of Patterson, Nix, and Hill. We know that the team needs another front end starter and we know that ownership has the money if necessary.

    There shouldn’t be a single (informed) Jays fan who would believe- even for a second- that AA would bid for Darvish without the intention of signing him. My view is that he decided months ago what he would pay in terms of posting and signing and has a firm understanding that what he will pay fits in with what Darvish will want. This deal may serve as the ‘coming out party’ for the Toronto franchise- the start of a multi-year period of relevance in the AL East.  Go Jays.

  50. Well said.

  51. Book of Moron is fun but I’d rather be exciting about what’s happening with and around this team rather than just look for reasons to get angry about something like this.

  52. Lmfao someone thinks the same as I do! Amazing!

  53. Nelson knows as an expert that only the Yankees and Sox have money and the Jays pays its players in maple syrup and the Japanese don’t like pancakes or waffles.

  54. Thank you. I am very excited about the prospect of the Jays signing Darvish. Partly because I believe (read:hope) that he is going to be a great pitcher for a long time and partly because once this process is completed we can move on to what AA is going to do next.

  55. One can only hope.

  56. See, this is the shit I’m talking about.

    @MikeTaylor760 says: “I bet Yu Darvish has never heard of Toronto. Bet he wants a do over. Get American teams out of Canada!”

    That’s so fucking ignorant, I don’t even know where to start. Feel free to tell this asshole how you feel.

  57. Actually, Leiter never really praises Toronto. He’s very pro-New York. Sadly, he knows more about pitching than anyone else on the set. Plesac doesn’t know what the hell is going on, ever.

  58. How did this waste of sperm get a job on MLB? Fuck, I’ve met smarter people working at frackin’ Burger King

  59. You’re an idiot

  60. Pretty funny user name!!

  61. Fuckin’ Toronto Sun is good only for the bottom of birdcages, wrapping fish, or if you have a new puppy

  62. Hence the adage, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the masses*.”

    *Maybe they should have included Americans too.

  63.  It’s patently obvious Nelson did absolutely no research and he’s a dimwit to be venturing an opinion if he knows nothing about the subject, or any subject for that matter.

  64. It’s the arrogance that gets me; the absolute certainty that there’s no other team in baseball that would DARE to submit a bid on Darvish. “Why, no team would have the temerity to do this! ”
       And-so their logic goes- if there IS no team that would dare submit a legitimate bid, then the Jays HAVE to be doing it to block the other teams. Thats it. Dont bother checking for any other explanation, there is none. The Jays are gaming the system and poor Yu Darvish will have to toil away in obscurity for another year because the Jays will certainly not sign him.
    And then they actually used the phrase, “It’s a shame!”

    ps. Sheehan was no great help either

  65. I love these idiots who confuse someone agreeing with their perspective as OWNING someone else. Sad.

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