I guess maybe he looks big enough to be a juicer. Wait… you mean the guy on the left?!??!?

Hardball Talk passes along an item from Dominican newspaper Hoy that refers to a speech made by Jose Bautista during a “dinner given by President of the Republic, Leonel Fernandez to a group of Dominican baseball players,” in which Jose said that he has been tested sixteen times– sixteen!– for PEDs over the last two seasons, despite having been tested only three times over the previous two.

That seems fair. Totally doesn’t sound like MLB is just salivating at the prospect of making the Dominican guy on the team in Canada the superstar they could most easily palate doing away with. Did they place that fucking buffoon Peter Keating in charge?

Total. Fucking. Ridiculousness.

“Now, the real test,” adds Craig Calcaterra. “Given how often Bautista has been tested, if he has 19 homers in late May, can random columnists resist the urge to write that ‘it’s impossible not to be suspicious’ column once again? Or is there nothing that will stop that?”

Excellent, excellent point. I mean, are writers who continue to baselessly speculate about Bautista nothing more than incompetent, lazy hacks and putrid shitstains of human beings? Hey, you gotta ask the question.

Comments (34)

  1. Are they testing for guys in white shirts in the outfield?

  2. How has Damien Cox made it this far in life? Hey you gotta ask the question?

  3. Did they collect the poop?

  4. Does anyone know MLB’s policies on drug testing? (How they determine who gets tested, how often, etc)

  5. That’s not terribly surprising to me.  I was on a CIAU track team and we had a shot putter who was ranked #1 or #2 in the country and he was tested ALL THE TIME.  Meanwhile, i didn’t get tested once and I’m going to guess it’s because I sucked.

    Testing is random for the scrubs but I bet that anyone on the HR leaderboard is tested at about the same rate as Joey.

  6. Answering my own question, per 
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M… 


    Testing for drugs of abuse is not administered randomly, but on a basis of reasonable cause.” Apparently there was still probable cause after the 18th drug test..

  7. “Totally doesn’t sound like MLB is just salivating at the prospect of
    making the Dominican guy on the team in Canada the superstar they could
    most easily palate doing away with.”

    That might be a valid point if we had some sort of proof that other superstar MLB players who do not play in Canada (Pujols, Fielder, Braun, Kemp, Halladay, Sabathia, etc) were being tested less frequently. We don’t really know that to be the case.

     

  8. I wonder how many times jacoby ellsbury got tested.  you know the guy who’s home run total went from 0 to 32 in one year?

  9. let’s see, if jose looks smaller than romero in this pic, and romero looks like a girly man next to thames, I can only wonder what jose would look like next to thames.

  10. Maybe he looks small because they took all the blood out of him

  11. I’m not saying the man in the white shirt is providing clean urine to Juan Batista, but you gotta ask the question.

  12. That says that testing is only on a reasonable cause basis for “drugs of abuse”, which do not include steroids.

    Using the same Wiki you submitted, drugs of abuse are defined as “Cocaine Metabolites, Opiates/Metabolites, PCP, Cannabinoids” None of which are PEDs. Seems the policy you are referencing is there in case they think someone has a substance abuse issue, not because they suspect someone of PED use.

  13. $5 to the person who shows up to the home opener sitting in center with a white shirt and a jug of pee with “Test #17″ on it.

  14. Touche. 

    I missed the classification of drugs of abuse above. There doesn’t seem to much information on how they test for roids. I am genuinely interested to find out.

  15. Hey let’s fu*k him out of the MVP award for two years consecutive and destroy his will with endless drug testing. I HATE politics and that’s all this is. Meanwhile a fraud like Braun gets to keep his MVP!

  16. They’re hoping to reduce the HRs with anaemia.

  17. I say that about every third person I meet.

  18. That’s referring to Schedule Narcotics (like cocaine), isn’t it? 

  19. According to the comments in that Calcaterra article, Pujols was tested something like 30 times in a couple of years when he started to really get the bat going.  But you don’t hear nearly so much from journalists about Pujols juicing as you do about Bautista.  I hate to be a conspiracy theorist, but if Jose was playing for, say, the Brewers, I doubt you’d hear all this chatter about juicing and men in white shirts and whatnot.  It’s the combination of ‘superstar hitter’ and ‘Canadian team’ they can’t accept.

  20. In all seriousness, I don’t think his performance is enhanced by drugs…but perhaps  by Oxes:  
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v

  21. This question is more philosophical than anything else, but is it equally fallacious to defend Jose on the basis of him NOT being hulk-like as it is to be suspicious of Jeff Bagwell because he was?

    Obviously it doesn’t matter how anyone defends JoeBats, he’s been tested a bajillion times and keeps coming out clean as a whistle. A very clean whistle.

  22. This question is more philosophical than anything else, but is it equally fallacious to defend Jose on the basis of him NOT being hulk-like as it is to be suspicious of Jeff Bagwell because he was?
     
    Obviously it doesn’t matter how anyone defends JoeBats, he’s been tested a bajillion times and keeps coming out clean as a whistle. A very clean whistle.

  23. Jerry Reed is such a ham. 
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v

  24. while I would like to agree with you as it makes a good conspiracy theory…let’s not make baseless claims. MLB would love to have a viable, winning team in TO; It makes a lot of financial sense. The ‘white shirt’ thing was derived from a journalist trying to make a name for herself who bought some B.S from a Chicago bullpen who wanted to get even with the Jays and specifically Bautista b/c of an ongoing rivalry. And yes, I havve heard a lot of chatter about Pujols juicing…but maybe not as much b/c Pujols has always killed the ball. I’m a Canadian too, but let’s not be cynical and accusative just b/c we have an inferiority complex….makes us look pretty stupid!

  25. while I would like to agree with you as it makes a good conspiracy
    theory…let’s not make baseless claims. MLB would love to have a
    viable, winning team in TO; It makes a lot of financial sense. The
    ‘white shirt’ thing was derived from a journalist trying to make a name
    for herself who bought some B.S from a Chicago bullpen who wanted to get
    even with the Jays and specifically Bautista b/c of an ongoing rivalry.
    And yes, I havve heard a lot of chatter about Pujols juicing…but
    maybe not as much b/c Pujols has always killed the ball. I’m a Canadian
    too, but let’s not be cynical and accusative just b/c we have an
    inferiority complex….makes us look pretty stupid!

  26. while I would like to agree with you as it makes a good conspiracy
    theory…let’s not make baseless claims. MLB would love to have a
    viable, winning team in TO; It makes a lot of financial sense. The
    ‘white shirt’ thing was derived from a journalist trying to make a name
    for herself who bought some B.S from a Chicago bullpen who wanted to get
    even with the Jays and specifically Bautista b/c of an ongoing rivalry.
    And yes, I havve heard a lot of chatter about Pujols juicing…but
    maybe not as much b/c Pujols has always killed the ball. I’m a Canadian
    too, but let’s not be cynical and accusative just b/c we have an
    inferiority complex….makes us look pretty stupid!

  27. How the media handled the Ryan Braun situation was even more disappointing, I mean, it went from “Oh shit, he failed a test!” to “Maybe the test was administered incorrectly” or some shit. The “lazy hacks” don’t even go after people unless they have a sudden fluctuation to their production, they think anyone who has produced consistently is incapable of taking something illegal.

  28. …be dark-skinned, hit homers off white boys, piss off more white boys.

  29. I don’t think it has anything to do with him being Dominican or that he plays for a Canadian team at all..

    I think it has to do with the fact that he has one of the craziest career progressions any of us can remember.  So everyone thinks steroids.

    Still bullshit though.

  30. I have a feeling their “golden boy” braun is going to skate on his failed test somehow.

  31. This is a total team effort; just like AA is trying to do. 
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v

  32. I would be happy if writers like keating get hit by a bus!

  33. You mean when he played 158 games instead of 18 in his 3rd full year when a lot of players start to hit a power surge?

  34. dont believe too much from the Niagara guy who claims the Rangers signed 5 guys from his team of   young players from Venezuela playing in Niagara Falls, the guy is the biggest husyler around. check his work here
     http://www.yumasun.com/article
    or here
    http://investorshub.advfn.com/

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