I realize it’s not very becoming to speak ill of the dead, but holy shit, Kansas City Royals fans, you’re really going to pay $200 for a nice place to have a little read?

Jesus.

Granted, with Adam Lind at the plate you can feel secure in the fact that not a whole lot is likely about to happen– HEYO!– but also, with the way the Royals played, and mismanaged the fuck out of life,  against the Jays this series, I guess it’s hard to look down on.

Elsewhere, Rany “the world’s most famous Royals fan” Jazayerli all but throws in the towel on the season in an epic post-series rant at Rany on the Royals. Do yourself a favour and read it.

Hat tip to Matt for the screen grab.

Comments (40)

  1. I made it half way through, then realized he just kept on writing. I feel for him losing streaks that long are killer.

  2. I really don’t understand the Royals. How can you always be bad in that weak division? The owner must really like watching crap baseball.

    • They’re owned by a guy (David Glass) who used to be CEO of Wal-Mart so he knows all about putting out a cheap and barely passable product while making mad profits.

    • in my opinion, they don’t have the right mix of veterans to compliment their young core.

  3. Beauty!

    • World class rant. It almost made me want to care about the fucking Royals.

      • The best part:

        I’ve seen the Royals try the double-steal dozens of times – when Bob Boone was the manager it seemed to happen every week – and I can probably count the number of times it worked on one hand. There’s a reason for that – most major league teams are skilled enough to defense the play. Usually they just hold the ball and concede second base, which is what Quintero should have done. The Blue Jays announcers were surprised that Quintero threw to second on the play. So there you go: the double steal can work. It just can’t work for the Royals, because in order for it to work, they’d have to be playing themselves.

        • I came here to post that part. Great rant, though oddly nostalgic as well.

        • Ha! That was outstanding! I was going to post that as well. Best part of an excellnet rant. Love it.

        • This was a close second for me. Made me laugh out loud.

          “In the eighth inning? That would be madness. No one would be that stupid.

          The Royals are that stupid.

          Not only are the Royals that stupid, but the Blue Jays knew the Royals would be that stupid.”

  4. HA! Pointed this out on the ESPN troll boards last night. not to mention this was the top of the 9th. That book is mos def a fantasy novel

  5. Well, who doesn’t like a quiet place to read a book?

  6. Free six-pack to whoever deciphers the book title.

  7. Hey now, don’t judge, you don’t know what that dude’s home life is like; maybe it’s like how my Dad used to read on the can for half the day, because it was the only place he could get some freakin’ peace and quiet. So, maybe it’s worth $200 bones just to not be pestered by the fam. Or, maybe he’s filthy stinking rich, in which case isn’t that the perfect place to sit and enjoy a good book. Read a little, watch some ball, drink 22 and a half beers, watch your manager repeatedly waste leadoff doubles by bunting – you know, because even if we pretend that “small ball” works, the Royals pitching is so strong that they should be playing for one run games… No, it definitely must be the only place the dude can get some quiet.

  8. The best was watching him continue to read it in his lap a few moments later.

  9. Is he reading Dianetics?

    • Well done! Stoeten, send me @Brainojack email address if you’re willing/able. We have to honour beer prizes around these parts.

    • Well deciphered.

      • Not really, I was looking up David Wolowicz book covers for awhile then typed ‘kc royals fan reading’ into google and got the actual name on the first link.

  10. at least the poor bastards have grass. it was a great stadium in 85 until George Brett played the best game of his life on that Fri night.

  11. Unlike the book, he knows how things typically end with Adam Lind.

  12. Lind’s numbers are looking familiarly Lindish so far this year, we really need to find a way to get Morneau without giving up a lot.

    • Hey, Lind’s a veteran. Maybe they can send him and Rajai to SF for Brandon ‘I must have fucked Bochy’s Daughter’ Belt.

      • The way he’s been buried, that might not be so far fetched.

        • What They are doing to Belt is truly baffling, and they’re even convincing the MSM. Yesterday I heard on the ESPN podcast, Karabell I believe saying that when Belt does play he doesn’t do anything. Problem is since the 1 for 10 with 5 K’s that got him benched, Belt is actually hitting .313/.421/.500 in 16 AB with 3 BB and only 3 K’s.

          They could take a cue from the Braves for whom Freddie Freeman was one of the worst hitters in Baseball before becoming Freddie Freakout and has since been amongst the best.

      • i cant believe im saying this… but that doesnt sound so far fetched… SF would probably rather have Lind at 1B than belt or Huff…

    • Chris, I think getting Morneau “without giving up a lot” is a great idea! Seriously, I wish the people who run the team had your kind of brain. What do you think also about getting Justin Verlander “without giving up a lot”? Me, I think it’s a good idea but I’d like to know what you think.

  13. Here is the best quote from that article..

    “Not only are the Royals that stupid, but the Blue Jays knew the Royals would be that stupid. “

  14. If they Jays are near a playoff spot come the all star break..

    They dont need to be trading for scuffling prospects… Go get a proven bat…

    I dont mind the idea of trying to snag Belt, but if in contention I would rather see the at bats go to someone more proven, like a Morneau/Konerko type..

  15. I just found out Pujols hasn’t had a home run yet.

    I suddenly feel better about Jose.

    • No worries. 35 y/o’s usualy start slow. He’ll pick it up soon.

      • I think it is also worth considering in light of the US government orchestrating the 2001 WTC attacks, led by the predecessor of that Muslim foreigner.

  16. He was reading that book for a LOT of that game. I pointed it out to my wife early on that this dude was killing me.

  17. It read like an OrioLOLs rant.

    Who hopefully will return to their usual form… like tonight, mebbe?

  18. The Royals post was awesome but it made me scared to think what JaysTalk callers would be like if the Jays we’re as bad as the Royals. That was a scary window into what that it could be like. At least Rany was using rational arugments for his frustration… He’s that mad and he’s thought through why. JaysTalk callers would just be a frothing nightmare.

  19. That guy the picture above could work there…

  20. [...] While all attention over the last seven days has been on Blue Jays and Chicago Cubs fans, Royals fans are suddenly coming in hot. It’s not like these people aren’t known to be nuts. You might remember Royals fan reading a book during a 2012 game. [...]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *