I’d like to begin this Game Threat by saying that, for all the things I miss about Toronto while I’m here on vacation, watching the Jays’ nightly left and right cocking up of things isn’t one of them. I can’t say that, however, because, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I was sitting on an Austin porch in 30 degree heat last night, watching the traitorous Michael Saunders take Luis Perez barely over the right field fence at SkyDome to ensure another Jays loss, this time at the hands of the stinking Mariners. Ugh.
Of course, I most definitely don’t miss having to deal with the Chicken Little dry hump squad who, as surely as they are fucking morons, must be seeing this spell as incontrovertible evidence that the 2012 Jays Can’t Cut It, thanks mainly to the large black gaps in their hysterical brains that won’t permit them to remember that even the best teams are gonna lose 70 times or more.
Nor do I miss the opportunity to go and piss away good money on shitty beers while watching Brandon Morrow try to stop the streak as he continues this season’s odd grope towards finding himself. Even if it’s one of the club’s far too fucking few Saturday 4 PM home starts. I’m much happier here, cracking a Lone Star in the noon heat.
Enjoy the game. This is your threat…
8 filets, 7 Ny’s, 4 Ribeyes, and box of Morton Kosher Salt. Cover both sides generously and let sit for 40-60 min
http://twitter.com/#!/Lunchboxhero45/media/slideshow?url=pic.twitter.com%2FjWpmIWkd
I have found my alternate verse to “12 Days of Christmas” Thanks man!!!
+1
I pulled up this blog specifically to satisfy my morbid curiosity on whether Stoeten would post yet another “hey it’s early, they don’t stink, everything is fine” article. Thanks again.
On a random note, I’m surprised it took the league 2 years to figure out Jose Bautista can’t hit anything on the outer half of the plate. It was nice while it lasted.
Are you suggesting it’s not early and it isn’t beyond fucking stupid to panic?
I think Brumfield Wants Noise answered it best below. That was truly painful (and I didn’t even watch after the ninth inning since I pretty much knew how it would turn out.) Just a tough, tough thing to watch.
How so? Check the Jays record in extra innings the past year and a bit. Very good record.
I’m hoping this post was sarcasm and not ignorance. Pitchers have been throwing Bautista outside pitches for two years now. The way they’re pitching him hasn’t changed at all.
Shhhhhhhh, don’t let logic get in the way of hysterical doomsaying.
Sounds like some defensive indifference right there. Something the Jays could do the odd time to cut down on shitty plays.
That game last night was a nut punch whether it was Game 1, 27, 89, 162 or game 7 of the fucking World Series.
No amount of small sample size, ordinary vacillations in win-loss record, or perspective is necessary after you get punched in the nutsack like that. Most of the Chicken Little crowd can be forgiven for not having a measured and reflective analysis after a game like that.
The best of teams lose 70 games a year, yes. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to throw away a winnable game against an inferior opponent in the manner that the Jays did last night.
Yeah – I’m not anywhere close to panicking about a Lost Season and how we Threw Away All That Promise, but God, being in the best seats I’ve ever had last night and watching that happen was pretty damn painful.
the premise the stoeten has is that it’s “panic” if fans doubt the efficacy of this team. it’s not panic. it’s clear eyed evaluation.
this isnt a winning club. period. no problem with that. it’s ass lickers like stoeten who live and die with AA that simply can’t afford to rationally view the team’s performance for what it is.
it’s pretty funny.
Very good point. I hope we don’t have to wait till the Jays lose 71 games before we are llowed to talk about baseball.
The jays have not been able to take advantage of a weak schedule.
Last night was an embarrassement because JPA threw the ball down the right field line in a snap throw that was not necessary.
Well put. Tired of reading Stoeten’s complaints of Chicken Little fans as if he is the authority when it comes to whether or not the Jays are playing well. This was a game that should have never been lost. Why can’t fans just lament and not be looked upon as uneducated?
It’s called perspective and having some of it. It’s fucking April people. The only thing that this team isn’t doing right now is living up to ridiculous expectations brought on by a skewed exhibition season.
What brings you to Texas, Stoeten?
What a username.
Have some friends here I met at SXSW a couple years ago and thought it would be fun to check out Psychfest and enjoy not-Toronto weather.
Gonna find a Rangers bar to watch them and the Jays on Monday. Already have on Jays fan down here who’s coming with. If you’re in the Austin area, shoot me an email and we can add to the crew!
I thought you were hosting a symposium on world peace by presenting the theory that a drunker world is a happier world.
Everything’s gotta look nice from a porch in 30 degree weather sucking back on a cold one.
I know it’d make me happy.
Ahh, wish I was still there.
Lived in Austin for almost 20 years before moving to Vancouver BC in 2008. Would have been good fun to actually meet up with a Jays fan in Austin.
Make sure to eat some Rudy’s for me while you’re there and check out the alcoholic-glory that is Spec’s liquor warehouse if it’s still around.
Seven players with less than a years service time in the show.
Basically 7 rookies.
There’s gonna be a lot of ups and downs during the year while they all get their feet wet.
Still should be interesting to see who can handle the bigs and who are the wannabees.
In other words, “wait ’til next year.” Seems I’ve heard that one before.
Aww, but you want your widdle championship wight now, don’t chu?
lose some weight fat boy. maybe then you wouldnt be so angry and defensive at anyone calling the jays out for what they are. you sure meet the stereotype of a chubby, nerdy, angry-at-life dude
You sound like the angry one. Typical idiot Leafs fan just dying to be the first one to say “HAHAHA I TOLD YOU SO!!! THEY SUCK!!!!”
For a fat guy you write a decent blog. Don’t worry Prince Fielder is fatter than you and everyone wanted to sign him for 10 years. You gotta have at least a few more good years of writing before heart disease sets in.
Fucking weak, dude. Turn six.
Sorry, but this wasn’t gonna be the year.The Jays are still headed in the right direction.Have faith.
according to Rogers Sportsnet the Fan 590 tho, it IS the jays year. just like mike wilner tells stoeten at night when they cuddle.
don’t believe me? the fan is running hype spots that say so. “This is the Jays’ Year”. sigh.
The Jays slogan this year was “we’re ready,,, Are You?”.
They should change it to Hustle & heart 3.0
)
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
If you go into a season with Adam Lind as your starting 1B (who hasn’t produced anything since 2009) and a rotation comprised mostly of rookies, you know winning isn’t the primary goal.
Well said been saying this all along. .500 team with upside bout all you can ask with this many young players and a meh kind of winter.
Fuck off, Stoeten.
ditto. what a hump.
you know you’re in texas when you find your self drinking some lone star. Possibly the best cheap-ass porch beer to be found.
Thank the stars Stoeten is consistent and wasn’t wearing shorts–those white legs would’ve been brutal. The plaid must be warm though.
You missed the Chili Peppers show last night. It was amateur hour on the TTC.
Lawrie makes that ROUTINE throw and the game is over.
Then JP doesn’t throw the ball to first like a little leaguer.
Bullpen didn’t lose that game. Really bad and in JP’s case, stupid, defense lost that game.
Seems everyone’s already forgotten about the 450 foot homer Coco gave up to bring the score to 5-4, before the Lawrie and JPA errors. Don’t think you can pin that one on the defense.
I’m pretty sure when the score was 5-4 and we were still winning. I’m also sure that Coco made up for it by getting the groundball out. ^Fucking moron^.
Time to tear off Millwood’s head and shit and piss down his bleeding stump of a neck, then proceed to hurl a spear from center through Saunders black fucking heart……..
ITS REVENGE TIME
(or a 2-1 win on a passed ball or balk, I’m not picky at this point)
Hopefully at least one of those experiences is possible.
Buck’s hair is ridiculous.
He looks like a fuckin clown! Someone tell to him cut that mop!
love your title. i am imagining it right now with bugs bunny and yosemite sam. bucks hair is used to polish lawries nuts before a game.
This just in: Zaun likes JP
Fuck off Zaun. Worst pre game ever. Just brutal.
Gregg Zaun’s three ways to win:
1. Score more runs than the opposition.
2. Give up fewer runs than the opposition
3. All of the above.
Gotta feel for Thames, has actually been one of our best hitters this year and ppl shit all over him, and he gets no credit from many when he does perform. Fucking Parkes somehow managed to acknowledge his out of the park home run and said it basically didn’t count because he let a very very tough chance go for a home run on a ball that was smoked.
Haters gonna hate.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QYq-7xg0B2A/Tb7z2V4e25I/AAAAAAAAD7E/4GSN9RXnH1Q/s1600/haters-gonna-hate-12.jpg
Bravo, troll!
Not a lot of confidence they will whack Millwood around, having made Jason Hammel look like a world beater in the last few weeks.
Another two minute at-bat by the Blue Jays.
This team has a collective .313 OBP entering today.
1-2-3 for Millwood he’s looking sharp
That would be next to last in the AL, by the way.
Okayyyyy Bretzky – atone atone atone
cmon cletus hit it outta heah
Morrow looks good–now for some runs. Show we mean business today.
“The table is set for Jose Bautista” and the Mariner’s come through with an error. Cool.
jose got away with one there. he was due for some good stuff.okay did i hear that right lind is 2-2. maybe the bats fire up
Kevin Millwood:
http://www.gkdating.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/slumpbuster.jpg
and where was lind going? for fuck sakes its been so long for him to be on base he forgot what not to do.they giveth and taketh.fuckin brain cramps
How many of our runs/rallys this season have been a direct result of an opposing 3b error? Kind of sad if you think about it too long.
Don’t.
when watching jays….do not think…you will catch fire
sawed off that bat real pertty.cmon morrow no more bombs out to cletus.he coned that catch
It’s what Morrow does if he doesn’t strike you out. Luckily Cletus will save his bacon more often than not.
It’s great to have Colby in CF. Davis would not get to that.
He’s had a ton of gb outs already this season.
I like this Morrow far more than the “2012″ Morrow.
taking a vote. what inning should i take a shower?
I always take a dump in the 5th or 6th IMO it’s the perfect time if you need to dump or make a beast feast!
thx big dick appreciate the help. i never know when to eat or shit. i thought most would prefer the 7th inning stretch your sack, so you dont sit on your nuts for 2 more rounds of pound the pen,
whifffffffff
Pat Tabler on Brett Lawrie: “There’s so much more to his package.”
Translation: He’s not wearing a cup. It’s all natural.
OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE
oh fuck.the ugly sister just appeared. time for a shower
What the HELL was that?!?
Clusterfuck.
Jays defense booked the weekend off.
And Adam Lind yucks it up after the error puts runners on the corners.
A.D.D.
Okay, seeing the first-base ump ringing up Ryan in slo-mo was kind of glorious.
Nice, Morrow. Way to pick up your infield.
Morrow looks better than last year. He isn’t tightening up with runners on base nearly as bad as he used to. The way he just struck out Montero and Ryan wouldn’t likely have happened last year.
Let me amend that. He’s pitching a hell of lot better with runners on than he was … but ffs he needs to let fewer runners on.
strike out man
that was a beaut!
that was a masterpiece
another quality outing by a starter.
I’ll take 6 innings of strikeouts over 7 innings of pitching to contact from Morrow any day of the week.
I wonder if Morrow still remembers that the Mariners traded him for League and circles Mariners dates on his calendar.
I think he probably does.
yeah. it would be a little concerning if he didn’t remember major life events.
No Morrow innings.
It’s nice that he has two hits, but what is Lind doing in the lineup if he is 0 for 16 against Millwood?
SMALL SAMPLE SIZE!!!!!!
^^^^
At least, that is what Parkes would say if it were Travis Snider instead of Lind.
what the fuck
Safe
Yup, no question.
why steal 3rd with 2 out? i dont get it.a single scores pop fly inning is over anyways.chump mistakes
WTF was Edwin doing there? Did he actually get a signal to do that?
Swan Frasor is such a beast!
im getting tired of seeing pros make crazy mistakes.there is aggressive but there is stupidity too. this is what will cost them the wildcard. death by a thousand cuts. i expect a pro to know the rulebook and can catch a ball with basic basepath knowledge. too much to ask for i guess
I have a hard time blaming Edwin for stealing third when he was only ruled out because of a missed call.
what does it mean when the ball bounces over the fencing
hey get your own title dickhead
and the good news is the yanks are losing and garcia got smoked again pitching about 70 in 1 2/3 innings.
Make them pay, EE. Make them pay big time.
Fuck YESSSSSSS!!!
i think they paid in full
Intentionally walking Lind? Did i miss something?
Oh, and fuckity doo daa Edwin.
See how much better life is when you don’t make Edwin play the field. He can just focus on massive days at the plate.
Very true. Putting him at 3B is a disaster & should only be done if Lawrie is in the hospital.
Oh, that was fucking beautiful.
En en encarnaceeon
I much prefer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdDJ1_ZUyLs @ 42 seconds.
Pitching around Lind to get to Edwin didn’t make much sense to me. Way to make them pay!
Yes, the very concept of intentionally walking Lind is hard to grasp.
Props to Edwin though. He’s the best hitter on the team this year.
Agrred. Grand Slam by steady Eddie. 7-0. Why anyone would walk Lind is ridiculous.
Thank fuck CoCo wasn’t brought in.
If JF would’ve batted EE clean-up, it would’ve been EE with the free pass and Lind batting with the bases juiced. GOOD JOB JF KEEP UP THE FUTURE SIGHT!
Wow, non-baseball related but just flipped to ESPN – Derrick Rose out for season with torn ACL – too bad for the Bulls, bad for Miami Heat-haters (like me)
oh, and fuck yeah EE
A dicy start to the inning, but Villanueva done good.
I think he looks like hawksley workman
http://images1.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Between-The-Beautifuls-Photos-hawksley-workman-1038503_700_467.jpg
I think that Hawksley Workman looks like him.
finally i enjoyed thru 9. and 7 runs to cheer. EE lost his grand salami virginity. its ok EE i will give you a reach around polish. you just keep that smile. o hshit, 3 weeks in and zaun and the clown are talking all star game for EE. leave him alone dinks
Of course they win today. That’s the pattern.
+1
LOL @ the dude that just called in to Wilner. He didn’t even know who Santos is.
the good news is that, at least for today, the TTC does not have to use that excess city budget cash on the planned subway stop halfway across Bloor Viaduct for the jumpers
Hat’s off to Morrow. Hopefully he can be as consistent at home as he is on the road this year.
BTW where’s the petition for AA to extend EE? He’s becoming our mid-size Papi.
Too true. I second that emotion–extent EE. signed Small Potatoes.
Just keep him off the diamond what ever the fuck they do.
Morrow did great…but since he used his fastball more for those strikeouts i have a feeling thats why he only went 6innings….but damn 97mph lol
6 innings with lots of strikeouts and no runs > more than 6 innings and multiple runs given up.
Let’s get one thing straight about Morrow, this entire pitch to contact nonsense is bullshit. studies have shown that pitchers who “pitch” to contact actually require more pitches to get through innings than those who don’t.
Morrow was successful today because he was getting ahead of people and throwing his fastball in counts where the hitters didnt KNOW it was coming.
Not only that, the second and esp. third time through the lineup, he was going to the change on 2-1 and 3-1 counts and made hitters look foolish..in the recent past, those were 93 mph fastballs down the middle.
he was just blowing people away with head and combined that with a devastating curve OUT OF THE ZONE. his curve ball sucks when it is in the zone and thus its not much of a pitch when he’s behind.
Aye…and its safer too. Now all he has to do is figure out how to dominate with less pitches.
I wish someone would blow me away with head.
It feels better to be seeing these guys start to swing the bats.
How the fuck do you claim to have a blog? All it is is gamethreads, you produce no content.. What a fucking waste of time…
classy.
Gamerhreat!!!
I can’t believe you’re in Texas and not drinking Shiner…
Stoten, Stoeten, Stoeten…
When did you change?
Yes, you assumed the majority of Jays fans to be morons – understandable after years of listening to Jays Talk. But you treated your readership with a respect – that they were kindred souls who “got it”, who understood and shared your annoyance with the local media, with the greater fanbase, with national talking heads spouting shite.
But now, Stoeten, you have ventured into Wilner territory. Last night, the Jays fucked themselves in a big way. That’s all there is to it. Yet it was entirely possible to predict that you would make a post calling your readers boneheads. Like Wilner, it’s as though the Jays don’t even matter – it’s about taking on your readership.
I know your instinct, as outlined above, will be to piss on this post. Go ahead. But I’m not writing it to feel clever about myself or getting a number of kiss-ass follow-ups. This post is for you, Stoeten – you are still a young man with a long career ahead of you. Don’t fuck it up by alienating your audience. Assess who they are, what they are all about, and why they choose to come here rather than Sportsnet. I say this as somebody who has historically liked your writing and take on things, but returns to this page with an increasingly-strained grimace.
So, piss on it. Save some face. Have a nice dig below this post. I really don’t mind. But I hope these words have some influence later in your day/week/month/year, because I want the best of Stoeten – a guy representing us, not a guy hammering us. Best for us, best for you.
+0
What in the fuck are you talking about?
“But you treated your readership with a respect – that they were kindred souls who “got it”,”
When the fuck did this happen?I get hit with a shit storm from the whispering winds of shit, ending up to my fucking neck in shit.
Kindred souls who “got it”.
Feeling a little pretentious?If you think that you and him got it all figured out,there’s a few of us who have a different opinion.
“Yet it was entirely possible to predict that you would make a post calling your readers boneheads.”
He does that all the time when somebody disagrees with him.And he calls them morons and plays the school yard “widdle feelings” crap.Ya gotta develop a thicker skin when communicating with him.
“a guy representing us, not a guy hammering us”
It’s his schtick.Creating a shit hurricane with 100 mph shit cyclones.He probably thinks it’s his duty.
Plus he’s hammered 75% of the time,can’t remember what he wrote.
I think the poster is complaining about Stoeten becoming an apologist for Rogers in the offseason over payroll parameters & now apologizing for the Jays losses because”it’s early”.
John Farrell was very upset with JPA’s throw down the first base line in the 9th inning.
Losing games like that is not acceptable & should not be written off as a rookie mistake.
@ oakville69
Uhmmm okay then.
Nevermind.
“Alcohol was a factor.”
yesssssss
+1 Corn.
At least Stoeten will engage his critics. Parkes just takes his seat on Mount Olympus and sneers.
+1
Morrow was throwing harder last night, around 96 mph. When he gets taken out of the yard, he sits at 94.
When he throws 94, he “pitches to contact”. At 96, he misses a lot of bats.
“I get hit with a shit storm from the whispering winds of shit”
This sounds like a lyric from a bad Led Zepplin song.
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