I’d like to begin this Game Threat by saying that, for all the things I miss about Toronto while I’m here on vacation, watching the Jays’ nightly left and right cocking up of things isn’t one of them. I can’t say that, however, because, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I was sitting on an Austin porch in 30 degree heat last night, watching the traitorous Michael Saunders take Luis Perez barely over the right field fence at SkyDome to ensure another Jays loss, this time at the hands of the stinking Mariners. Ugh.

Of course, I most definitely don’t miss having to deal with the Chicken Little dry hump squad who, as surely as they are fucking morons, must be seeing this spell as incontrovertible evidence that the 2012 Jays Can’t Cut It, thanks mainly to the large black gaps in their hysterical brains that won’t permit them to remember that even the best teams are gonna lose 70 times or more.

Nor do I miss the opportunity to go and piss away good money on shitty beers while watching Brandon Morrow try to stop the streak as he continues this season’s odd grope towards finding himself. Even if it’s one of the club’s far too fucking few Saturday 4 PM home starts. I’m much happier here, cracking a Lone Star in the noon heat.

Enjoy the game. This is your threat…

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