Oh, those pesky motherfucking Rays. So plucky and commendable for the way they’ve done battle with the big payrolls over the last few years, yet oh so growing absolutely fucking hatable. I mean, this succeeding with Evan Longoria shit? That’s just fucking annoying.

So, tonight we turn to Brandon Morrow to lay on the kind of bat-quieting slice of domination that so often happens to come from the likes of SCOTT FUCKING DIAMOND on our Blue Jays.

Hey, and Adam Lind crushes Jeff Niemann, right? So that should help. *SIGH*


Further to the stuff about the Jays and DRS, a commenter on the post about power rankings points us to a piece from Tom Tango about Brett Lawrie’s ridiculous DRS numbers this year.

Alex Anthopoulos would tell you not to bother with it, but MLB Trade Rumors has a little guide to Cole Hamels’ status as a mid-season trade candidate.

The Hollywood Reporter tells us of some fans who are suing MLB, arguing that their deals between satellite and cable companies– and the way territorial rights are carved up, and how customers can’t pay for in-market games– may violate US antitrust law. Do it!

TV: Sportsnet

And now the lineups, by way of the live box score at theScore.com. And for those of you who’ll be out and about, be sure to follow all the action on your phone with Score Mobile

Toronto Blue Jays

K. Johnson 2B
Y. Escobar SS
J. Bautista RF
A. Lind 1B
E. Encarnacion DH
E. Thames LF
B. Lawrie 3B
C. Rasmus CF
J. Arencibia C

B. Morrow RHP

Tampa Bay Rays

B. Zobrist RF
B. Upton CF
M. Joyce LF
C. Pena 1B
L. Scott DH
S. Rodriguez 3B
W. Rhymes 2B
C. Gimenez C
E. Johnson SS

J. Niemann RHP


Image via Wikipedia

Comments (335)

  1. look on the bright side….at least Morrows era didnt balloon.

  2. fuck every game against tampa follows the same storyline, stay close for a few innings, then jays fuck it up in one inning. and carl crawford is gone for 2 years and we still can’t beat them.



    Lind u POS go fking kill yourself



  4. Lind walks on full count ….good eye.

  5. wow a 3 hitter by the bullpen.

  6. anyone know the last time the jays won a season series against the rays? 2007?

    • i think it was back in the wade boggs’ days

    • Forget season series…when’s the last time the Jays won a series against them? I honestly think they haven’t won a series in Tampa since literally 2007. It’s been about 14 series. In Toronto they won one a couple of years ago on the Morrow one hitter, but that might be it. It’s seriously pathetic.

  7. 16 games vs +500 teams

    I expect the jays to go 4-12

  8. who cares what they go.
    fuck this team.

  9. Should’ve left Morrow in the game. If you let him finish the inning he may as well start the next one, with no one on base he’d have been fine.

    Have Perez warming up though.

  10. Hi guys! I know some of you may be a little upset at my current level of play, but someone has to protect Bautista. It might as well be me!

  11. Can Rogers just sell this team already?

  12. That might have been low, but was too close to take.

  13. lawrie showed some balls there, lind would have cried all the way back to the dugout

  14. Rays fans seem to think the Lind error was BS and Morrow should’ve been charged 6 ER. Anyone watching the game confirm?

    • dont care, Lind should die

      • at least we don’t have albert or vernon, just imagine the pain, people on death row would be laughing at us.

    • I don’t agree with the rules. only runners on should be unearned, rest are on you. just like last year with jojo, he gave up like 9 unearned runs.

      • i disagree, he should have been out of the inning, even if lind fucks up that play joyce was still out at the bag if you watch the replay from the alternate angle on mlb.com, Morrow did great tonight, im for any move that preserves his numbers

    • Doesn’t matter much. Remember Pena struck out just after that, which would have ended the inning at 2-1.

    • It was a bit questionable, but at the same time the wild pitch Pena struck out on should have been a passed ball on JP. That would have kept it at 2 if only JP can keep his chest infront of the damn ball.

    • lol @ rays fans complaining about that. joyce was out at the bag regardless.

    • It was a debatable error. Lind made a not-fully-extended-dive. If Brandon Morrow had 8.2 IP and 0 hits surrendered, that would’ve most certainly been scored a hit.

  15. can’t believe the jays were congrating farrell on 100 wins, that’s like thanking the earth for turning.

    • Why not congratulate? It’s something to pass the time. It’s not like they made a big deal about it, Jose just bought him a wine bottle. The appropriate level of fuss, imo–you made it to 100, go get drunk.

    • Hahahaha, that was classic.

    • its not like they went to a Trophy shop and had a replica made for Farrell.. its a bottle of booze, geez.

  16. anyone notice that as soon a jay comes in contact with murphy he becomes a dead pull hitter? case in point. JPA hit a home run off the rf pole his first home run I think, after that he now pulls everything. lawrie was mashing when he came up, now he pulls everything. lind used tohit oppositve field, now dead pull.

    • I’ve been saying fire this shitbag for years.

      • shitbag?? haha.. personally i dont think the hitting coach has got inside the box and taken any swings yet this year, but I could be wrong. btw – he helped jose bautista make the changes to his swing that finally clicked.. no credit?

  17. On a lighter note, 15,200 in attendance tonight. Not great.

    • About par for the course, Monday night, Tampa, May….honestly a couple years ago probably would have been 11-12k.

  18. I’d like to see Chad Mottola as the hitting coach. Seen about enough of the D Murph.

  19. i had to turn this game off after that inning, its too much… Tampa is the luckiest team in the history of pro sports.. they turn chicken shit into chicken salad on a daily basis.

  20. farrell bobblehead is coming out, it’s a stick with a potatoe on top

  21. man.. knocking Niemann out of this game hasnt worked out so far for the Jays horrific awfence!

  22. I think MLB needs to investigate Joe Madden – I suspect he is a Shaman.

  23. Happy bunch of campers in the ole comment section tonight.
    Reading the comments here is like listening to a country and western song.

    • yeah, so much to be enthralled out these last couple games. or am I supposed to be psyched because in four years we will have marisnick, sanchez, nicolino, and syndegaard on the team? cause you know what..that doesnt really help the team right now

      • Agreed. Although it is fun to hear about prospects in lansing at A ball.

        By the time they are ready for the mlb, Bautista will be retired,Romero will be pitching for the Dodgers, etc…

        The team is currently structured to compete in 2012, 2013 & 2014. This year looks bad so far, even with the yankees & red sox weaker than expected.

        How funny would it be if the LOL Orioles make the playoffs before we do.

  24. So does this game qualify as a shit show?

    what will be lost in the morrow velocity issues, the walks, the lind errors….the wild pitch vs passed ball on the Pena strikeout will be the following fact.


    you think its going to be better tomorrow with our ONE victory over price in about 15 starts?

    • i have to agree.

      our bats are dead

      • we have 7/9 of our starters performing below their career average right now.. it cant stay like this forever, but Lind has to go.. even against Righties, hes not getting the job done

    • Im going to have to disagree with you on one thing – Morrow was awsome tonight aside from walking 1 or 2 batters he shouldnt have. watch the replays of the 6 run inning basehits he gave up, he hit the exact spot he was aiming for – the Rays just went outter half and hit them, he should have been out of that inning on the Joyce call, if you watch the alternate angles on the replay on mlb.com you can clearly see the ball is in his glove before Joyce’s hand is on the bag

    • They cant hit in general. its especially emphasized when
      they play the rays. AA totally overestimated how good this
      offense is w/o jose raking.

  25. the last two games we have been beaten by teams that have players like Will Rhymes and jamie carroll as fucking starters. what is funnier is that those lineups are actually outhitting us.

  26. Cordero, mop-up duty. Seems a bit more appropriate.

  27. Jays are quickly turning into the joke of the city. You think fans will be coming out to see garbage like this? LOL…I don’t think so. Oh my, I would have given Fielder 400 Million for 20 years.

  28. Adam Lind: In play, out(s)

  29. everyones freaking out over a .500 road trip and a loss to the rays.

    Its early yet guys, and its still not that bad.

  30. murphy has been riding the coattails of one jose bautista for 2 years. look at the trail of carcasses he’s left behind who get worse, lind, snider, thames, lawrie, rascal, yunel, JPA.

    • ill have to check baseball-reference.com but i believe all of the players listed took their own atbats and were not pinch hit for by dwayne murphy

  31. Well, what does this team need?

    They need another #2 pitcher.
    They need another power bat somewhere between LF-DH-1B

    Next season, they still will need these things plus replacements if Johnson and Encarnacion leave. I fully approve of GM AA perhaps overpaying for players this season to see if they want to sign them to largish contracts. I’m sure it’s tremendously valuable to have the player there to evaluate and to let them come and enjoy Toronto to get some familiarity.

    • #2 pitcher? Id say we need a legit ace more than another #2. right now Romero is a #2 and Morrow is looking like a #2 or even an ace, but its still very early. I think the dilemma AA faces is

      • You’re not getting a #1 without overpaying giving up a ton in young players. How about having five #2s? That should do very well.

        • in the regular season i think that idea works better than in the playoffs, but five #2 pitchers is better than what we’ve currently got. how much do you bid for Hamels is the question, if you werent willing to go 110M+ on Darvish, does it make more sense to go 130M on Hamels?

    • They need a #2 pitcher, a LF a DH, 2b, AND 1b. EE/Johnson won’t be here.

    • They need a hell of a lot more than that.
      Remember that the Jays have 7 players with less than one years service time in the show. Three are in the starting rotation.

    • This is the main reason why I am honestly surprised so many think that winning 86+ games was going to be a walk in the park. It’s essentially the same team as the one from last August with upgrades to the rotation. The team from last August/September was a sub .500 team.

      - The pen is performing the same or worse
      - Starters are better than expected
      - Hitters are right about the same place (.715 OPS YTD vs .707 OPS for AUG/SEPT 2011)

      Unfortunately all the talk about the new swagger and the killer instinct has been so much bunk. They still can’t beat up on the shit teams and still have trouble in late inning situations. The good thing is that on paper there’s much more upside for if and when they turn it on compared to this time last year. I guess it’s going to be more about baby steps as opposed to leaps and bounds into contention.

      As for this last stretch of 10 games or so I see a lot of complacency especially in the field. Lots of 2 or 3 error games of late.

      • Very good points. The team looks good on paper but can’t come through on the field.

        AA has an excuse to not do anything in July because the jays will probably be out of contention.

  32. Dav-id Coo-per (clap clap, clapclapclap)

  33. if he tries to sign someone like Hamels and we dont win a world series, he’s in trouble

  34. WILNER: “tampa will not win 90 games”

    • I don’t know who is worse, Wilner or that clown Ennis who did Jays talk last night.

      • Oh Wilner is way worse. why is Ennis a clown? I missed his Jays talk but I’ve heard him stand up to Wilner’s nonsense of picking arbitrary end-points to argue an absurd point.. he seems to be fairly reasonable.

    • Wilner is an idiot lol

      • can’t wait for jaystalk and wilner says, jays are still only 3 games out

        • I heard wilner accuse someone of cherry picking specific isolated stats to confirm their invalid view on a player – i almost fell off my chair

          • Take a look at his twitter feed right now for some quality examples of that.

          • Just stop listening to that shit-stain and your moderate sanity will be all the better for it. To quote Bill Hicks, he is a company man to the bitter fucking end. Total asshole.

            Although Howarth is getting tiring, I like Ashby a lot and hopefully Andrew can pull a Gillooly and stand in. I actually will stand up for Tabs despite his homo-erotic tendencies, but Buck really needs to mop things.

    • Did Wilner seriously say that?

  35. Hey guys, they’re trying to get something goin’ here.

    • another slapstick single from Lawrie, call me when the guy remembers how to lift the ball out of the infield. jk but seriously what is up with that

  36. BBlue Jays PitcHRs give up the 2nd most walks and 2nd most homeruns in MLB

    Blue Jays hitters last in doubles, 2nd most grounded into double plays.

    Not entertaining.

    • good points dm, but the pitching stats are inflated by the ridiculously awful appearances by Coco Cordero and Santos has had some bad nerves/luck in his very limited # of app.

      id be more interested in starting rotation #’s

    • Where do they rank in “runs scored” and “run differential”?

      • if you google MLB run differential you’ll get a link to it on espn, the Jays are ranked #2 in the AL in RD going into tonight’s game.

        • @ Chris

          Ya I knew, just wanted dm to see.

          • Radar: I am well aware of their Run Differential. You know what their run differential is vs. Tampa thus far this year (minus 18 in four games)

            The Blue Jays run differential has been built up vs Royals (+10) and Seattle (+5) and Cleveland (+5).

            Does that really make you feel good about the start to their season? Run differential can turn around in a hurry, especially if the trend in walks and HRs continues. But, maybe I don’t know what I am talking about.

          • @ dm

            Well then, if you’re gonna promote all the negative stats,I’ll promote some of the good ones.

      • Surprisingly the Jays are doing rather well in run differential though a game like tonight will knock them down some. They were leading the division prior to tonight.

    • Jays 3 games over .500.

      Wins = entertaining

  37. Get rid of Ben Francisco, sit Lind, call up Cooper (something, ANYTHING but this)

    • cooper and gomes both deserve a shot imo. hell, platoon them and bench lind or send him down to AAA!

      • Lind can’t be sent down, he is out of options, so it is part-time role or a release (which is obviously too kneejerk)

    • im pretty sure raul ibanez, who was freely available and cheap, would have accepted a potential starting gig from the jays to play 1b..if they werent man crushing on fuck tard lind as an organization

  38. josh hamilton vs jays bullpen = home run hitting contest

  39. I fully expect when the jays finish poorly this season murph will be fired cuz farrell will need a scapegoat to prove he wasn’t the idiot

  40. The team has so much flexibility, but they need to find that talent soon if they want to be in the hunt at the end. The division is not getting any easier and it seems pretty clear where the team has weaknesses. Some commenter awhile ago said it aptly: Alex, the ball is in your court.
    Look, Alex has done a tremendous job turning this franchise around. We don’t know for sure that he can make this team a winner though. If he waits until the deadline, we know this team is still going to be hovering around ,500 and at least 4-5 games back of first if not the wild card. He can sit back and say, “The team just wasn’t ready.” But we already knew that if you weren’t going to make a move to fix holes. I understand if he’s just hoping for the best this season, but really just waiting another year to make a push.

    • How do we “know” that we’re going to be 4-5 games back by allstar? Would you have really picked the Rays and Oriololes to be 4 games up on us and the Yankees at this point? There’s not an honest person on this “board” that would take the Rays’ lineup over ours, find me an analyst that said our lineups were close in talent or previous accomplishments. The Rays seem to have had an incredible amount of good luck so far.

      • Actually, the rays lineup does do one thing well that the jays suck at. They GET ON BASE. The jays have a bunch of hackers like thames, arencibia, etc. who cant take a walk and are easy outs for the opposition. The rays are far more selective and swing at better pitches to hit. The jays have more power but thats the only advantage they have really. Its true that the rays do seem to have good luck but part of that is their manager who is great at putting his players in places where they can succeed unlike farell who seems to struggle with that.

        • I partially agree with that, in general the Rays have better career OBP than the Jays, but the Jays are still a superior lineup.. as far as managers go.. id say they’re pretty similar, i havent watched every Rays game this year to know that madden would have demoted cordero quicker or benched/moved lind out of the cleanup faster – it seems like common sense would suggest anyone would have, but obviously thats not the case.

  41. wtf, why pinch hit for colby? fuck u farell, this pitcher destroys right handers, but you keep three in a row, congrats you cunt muffin

  42. cont’d

    I would have to say I’d be disappointed with that because the team should be doing their best (within reason) of trying to make the playoffs. Again, it goes back to getting the talent into the organization.

    • I think the quote from Cafardo’s piece where he quotes an AL GM who says the Jays are trying to “do something big” gives me heart that AA understands where the team is at.

      Takes two to tango, though.

  43. fact of the matter is…unless a starter gives up two or fewer runs, this team is going to lose 90 percent of the time.that is not a good sign considering the starting pitchers are beginning their regression to the mean while the shitty hitting is not doing the same.

    I think we are in for a tough stretch this next ten days while our starting pitcher falters while our hitting wont come around till late may.

    then i think it will get better.

  44. Almost three-and-a-half hours to lose 7-1. I wonder what’s wrong with the casual fans?

  45. It should be interesting to see what he does. I have a feeling he stands pat for now. Unfortunately, decent trade chip prospects like McGuire and Jenkins that seemed ready to take the next step have been total crap this year. The other high end ones might go if they can get the right star player but short of that I wouldn’t bother trading them considering their upside. Most of the trading pieces prior to 2010 aren’t really high upside guys.

    Maybe if Vladdy is ready to go in a couple of weeks you might see a boost to the offense same if they decide it’s Snider’s time but he’s been shit since he came back from his injury.

  46. Stoeten, you HAVE to give this quote its own fucking DJF post. ..this is quoted from ESPN’s website …about Clemens / Mcnamee

    “Roger pulled down his pants, exposing his right buttocks cheek to me,” McNamee said. A few seconds later, Clemens said he was ready. McNamee said he then “plunged the fluid in into his buttocks.”

    After it was done, they “exchanged pleasantries,” according to McNamee. “That,” McNamee concluded softly, “was the first time I injected Roger Clemens.”


  47. I’m kinda happy that JB is not hitting well. So you see the real depth of this team. In the last two years, a journey man was putting monstrous number and making us all believe that they are close to contend,
    You wanna see a real team? Look at st. Louis. Albert left and nothing happened to the team.

    • do you see the numbers of the guy who replaced him? that guy turned down the jays

  48. wow, all that talk about the damage Adam Lind does to Nieman proves true – Lind broke his freaking leg – Nieman out for season (he broke his freaking leg, he broke his freaking leg – Slapshot reference)

  49. Okay I dont want to make it seem like this loss is the end of the world but its very discouraging. The offense continues to suck and struggle to get on base. Every hitter on this team has some kind of weakness whether it be passiveness (Bautista), strikeouts (Johnson, Rasmus, Arencibia), groundballs (escobar and lawrie) and general shitiness in everything (Thames and Lind). To me, this weaknesses are magnified when they play good teams like the rays with good pitching staffs. The jays managed 1 RUN IN 8 INNINGS against the tampa bullpen. Not to mention, the starting staff continues to fuck themselves over with walks. Its got to be a concern. Some people say this team is .500 with upside. However, you can say this team is .500 with downside as well if they do not start performing against the AL East.

    • jays have lost by 4+ runs in all games to tampa so far. remember this team struggled to score from day 1 during that 17 inning or whatever game when they couldn’t score for like 8 innings.

      jays have been above 500 the last couple years mainly due to jose mashing and padding their record vs baltimore. both are not happening this year which spells problems.

      if not for the 4 wins vs kc they’d be well below .500

  50. dm, link?

  51. Wilner:”The Jays have to fix Adam Lind”.

    Who would have thought the solution would be so simple.

    • oh wait I thought wilner said hitting coaches had nothing to do with hitting, they only facilitated work, it was the player who did the hitting.

    • I don’t see how neutering Adam Lind gets us anything but a better rendition of Don’t stop believin’ at Karoke.

  52. Tampa is probably one of the most likable teams to watch. Of course, I like seeing Toronto prevail, but it’s not like watching them square off against NY or Boston. It’s a class organization.

    I should remark on how impressive Cordero was with a five-run cushion. Thanks so much. .

    Bautista: if you weren’t a Blue Jay, you’d be higher up on my shit-list. Seriously; have a shred of humility and don’t scoff at amazing pitches that freeze you. He is the biggest bitch in baseball.

    • to be fair, how would you feel if you had to carry the entire team on your shoulders for 3 years?

      • Listen, he’s acting like a five year-old at the plate. It’s borderline embarrassing as a Jays jan. I almost prefer the snail-like indifference of Rasmus compared to Bautista’s antics. The sad thing is that of all the pitches he’s disputing, for the most part, they are legitimate strikes.

        Anyway, we have VLAD THE IMPALER. Let’s move EE to first, DH the impaler, and send Lind/Cordero/Frasor/Vizquel/Francisco for E915 and a moderately shitty bat from any team in the NL West.

    • Nope Youkilis is the biggest pitch on balls and strikes but Bautista is a close second. By the way, the call he bitched about tonight at the knees was a strike according to Pitch FX.

  53. hey 2 more losses and farrell will have 100. I’m going to leave a bottle of my finest piss on his desk.

  54. Okay so the good thing about this game is Lind was hitless, so maybe that ends the batting cleanup experiment again.

  55. The team has so many holes to fill.
    Realistically, how long does AA have to compete? Do the higher ups even care about competing. Fans have been strung along for a number of years now saying wait for next year…then the next year comes and its wait another year or 2.
    I had higher hopes for this team 2 years ago then i do now.

    • Beeston said we should make the playoffs 3 out of the next 5.. so if we dont make the playoffs this year, we’re going to need to pick up the pace starting next year. That may mean attempting to sign Hamels or Hamilton, or pulling the trigger on a trade to aquire a legit bat for the 4 hole.. AA knows he doesnt have an endless amount of time before a playoff team is expected.

      Personally I dont think we have several holes, I think we are 2 or 3 moves away from being a serious contender. Whether that means sign cole hamels and trade for a 1B or DH, depends on a ton of factors – but we all have to agree AA is going to have to start making moves soon, he will need to make a major trade or signing by next year at the very latest.

      • Yea, three moves away. Better pitching, better hitting and better fielding.

        Where are the 90 win predictors now?

        Spend some money Rogers, the apologists have already moved on to the “developing year” scenario, and moved the perpetual “two years away” down the road until 2014 or 2015.

        It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, it takes about $20 to $30 more million, which Rogers makes in a couple days.

      • 3 moves on offense constitutes a third of the lineup.

  56. I’m really pulling the plug this time! This was the last game I’ll watch this year.

  57. Danny Duffy of the Royals had his season come to an end. His new best friend is Tommy John.

  58. If the Phillies bottom out and go into full sell-mode.. would you consider trading Adam Lind for Ryan Howard?

    • I would trade Adam Lind to simply not have him on our roster. Forget anything in return. Honestly how the jays passed on Carlos Pena is beyond me.

  59. Where is Jack Cust when you need him?

  60. The Lind thing has gone beyond ridiculous. Up to recently, in a tiny corner in the back of my mind, a sliver of hope floated in and out that someone there knew wtf they were doing with Lind … something that nobody could possibly know except for them. That sliver took a hit when they signed Vladimir Guerrero last week. Now, I always liked Vlad – who didn’t? – but … it felt akin to buying a lottery ticket in the hopes of solving financial woes. And it still does. A lot of that faith in AA and company that built up over this last year and a half or so has thinned out. Dramatically. I don’t know how ready David Cooper may or may not be but if I had a vote, I’d argue that it might be time to give him a real shot at first base. ‘Cause this isn’t working. At all.

  61. There must be guys in the minors who are ready or close.Arencibia is a below average defender and is batting around .200 over a 200 game span.Thames is simply terrible in the field.He has no confidence out there.He should be charging fly balls to give himself momentum on his throws to home or the cut off.You practice this in little league.He costs them runs almost every game.Plus his hitting is so so. Lind has to go…give Cooper a chance.All he does is hit…which is what they need.Escobar should bat in the bottom of the lineup.They should trade Bautista.Ive said this for 2 years.Imagine what they’d get for him.

  62. (Cut to scene in a large, dark boardroom, adorned in a glowing red motif, with map of the world in the backdrop and little red dots everywhere).

    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1: So Alex, we were expecting you, but not so soon.
    AA: Thank you for seeing me, grand masters.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 2: Time is money and time is not eternal my young one. Please, do tell why you need to see us this early into the season. Are we losing money?
    AA: No, no, I have stuck to my parameters like a good boy, but we are losing games and will soon be losing fans.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 3: We did let you sign the Impaler, has he not helped with your dilemma, how do you call it, winning ball games?
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1 and NO. 2: (giggling)
    AA: Yes, well, he’s a long-shot, he is reporting to extended spring training. We are hopeful, but just don’t know yet if he can still play. We think he can be a good bench bat, perhaps platoon against left-handers, his career OPS is .972 and we think he still has the bat speed to maintain a BABIP of above .300, and his wOBA last year was…
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1: Enough with the baseball numbers! You know we never understand your mundane baseball numbers.
    BEESTON: May I please address the board grand masters?
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1: Ah yes, I see that Alex brought his Jedi today, how are you? So nice to see that you chose to wear socks today.
    BEESTON: You guys keep this room so cold, even I wear socks. Anyhow, Alex has concerns about the roster at the major league level. We need to address some holes in the lineup, at 1B and LF.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 2: I really like the tatooed one, is he not doing well? His intake of the drink concotion from our labs is not working?
    BEESTON: You mean Lawrie? Yes, the Lattimer formula the labs came up with is working very well with him. He actually flew off the ground like Superman to save a run the other day.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1: Can we not extend the Lattimer formula for all of our players?
    AA: We think it would be dangerous, it might suck too much energy from the dwindling number of fans at the CENTRE.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 3: We are working with a new strategy for the consumers who are attending the CENTRE. Subliminal messaging sent with our new high-speed WARP wireless signal. Would that not offset the risk?
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 2: Yes, we think it can work. The consumers at the CENTRE will become so numb, they won’t notice that the Lattimer formula is robbing their energy. BEESTON: Well, that is fine and dandy guys, but it won’t change the fact that the team actually needs better players. We need better players!!
    AA: There also is a risk that the Lattimer formula has a short shelf life, we don’t know if it can be sustained for 162 games.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1: We think having numbed fans who are bombarded with subliminal signals at the CENTRE while being sucked of their energy by Lattimer formula enhanced players is the ideal scenario. For us, its a win-win.
    AA: But it doesn’t lead to winning ball games! We need to review our roster so I can make recommendations. I’ve talked to many GM’s and there are deals out there to be made!
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 3: Yes, we know you like to talk my young Alex, we have seen your cellphone bills.
    AA: Does that mean we have to ride the year with Lind?
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 2: Lind, is he the pasty one at 1B? He is my grand-grand daughters’ favorite player. She says he reminds her of a bubbly marshmallow teddybear. We can’t get rid of him, my grand-grand daughter will never forgive me.
    AA: But he really is struggling at the plate, he can’t hit lefties, his OPS since 2010 is…..
    BEESTON: Coles note version, Lind sucks.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1: But he comes at a reasonable price no? The vegetarian first baseman was going to cost us too much money. Do you really think we are giving up our private mountain chalets in Liechstenstein for a ballplayer?
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 2 and NO. 3: (giggling)
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1: Can we not give Lind some Lattimer formula?
    AA: We tried getting him some in his pre-game snack of milk and cookies, but it doesn’t work.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 3: We have to check with the labs. It might be necessary to make adjustments to how we administer the Lattimer formula.
    BEESTON: But that will take some time! How long?
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1: Any delays in delivering a new Lattimer formula will be offset by the WARP wireless signal.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 2: We must cut this meeting short Alex. The Irish One is waiting to speak to us.
    AA: May I continue to make some calls to other GM’s?
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 3: Yes, of course, by all means. It’s part of your charm my young one. See if you can’t find another Mench. He had a big head. We liked him.
    AA: That was Riccardi’s call, not mine. I was hoping for something better.
    BEESTON: (whispers to AA): Let’s get out of here, its obvious they are fucking crazy, besides, my feet are itching in these socks.
    ROGERS FUCK NO. 1: We will reconvene to discuss baseball operations in 30 days. Good luck to you my young one. Please send in the Irish One.

  63. Why was the run-to-first-on-dropped-third-strike rule ever implemented?

    • Dunno

      But when you figure it out,maybe you can tell me;

      Where does the white go when the snow melts?
      If a goose is a goose and two goose are geese,why isn’t two gloves,gleeves?
      Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
      A man lives on the 30th floor and takes the elevator to the ground floor to go to work everyday.But when he comes home he takes the elevator to the 12th floor and takes the stairs back to his apartment on the 30th floor.

  64. Currently, Kelly Johnson is the only jay with a good obp (.360). Even encarnacion with his hot hitting still cant manage an obp higher than .330. This lineup is not going to cut it. Simply pathetic.

  65. I thought you couldn’t run to first on a k if it was occupied. did thisrule change orsomething?

    • Except when there’s two out,then you still run,with first base occupied..
      Unless,of course,if the bases are loaded with two outs and the catcher drops the third strike,the catcher just needs to step on the plate with the ball in his possesion for the force out.

  66. Has anyone dubbed the whole Lind fiasco “Lind-sanity” yet?

  67. What is it with this team and black hole at 1st base. We haven’t had a credible 1st baseman in like 10 years. I get that EE was bad last year and is much better this year. But Lind’s been bad forever and he is not improving. Last night’s shit-show was all Lind all the team. I don’t give a shit that he banged 110 home runs in 2009 or whenever. He’s not producing now. He hasn’t produced for a while. And although he doesn’t actually stink at 1st base he is no incredible defensive success story either.

    • So what do you do with Lind?
      Do you think he’s tradeable to ANY team?
      You can’t DFA him, he’s still owed 10 mil.
      AA and everyone else knows this,so you hope like hell he produces something to create some value and trade him.
      The Jays are basically stuck with him.

      • Put him on waivers and hope someone makes a claim. I’m looking at you Kenny Williams.

      • He’s basically a Juan Rivera or Mark Teahen-like anchor at this point. You bury him on the bench and find a way for some other team to take his contract in a trade in a package with a young, controllable asset as the price of doing business.

        • Yup, because none of the other teams have a better option for first base or DH than Lind at 10 mil.
          All the other teams are asking themselves.
          Where can we find a player for first base?If only Adam Lind was avaialable we’d snatch him right up and steal him from the Jays.
          It’s like why wouldn’t any team want to grab Lind?He’s a bargain and will solve that problem at first.

          • Well they did DFA Ryan eventually. But you’re right. They can’t DFA him. However I don’t think the team can win with him.

            Remember when JPR said Delgado’s contract was ‘an albatross’. Well, he just didn’t know from albatrosses. Because Lind and his $10M? That’s an albatross.

  68. Dear Stoeten,

    If you insist on giving these intellectual midgets the time of day on Twitter, please do so by @ replying them directly, so as to not flood the timelines of others with these types of inane pissing matches.


  69. Alrighty then. Didn’t expect you to fall into the Mike Wilner-trademarked trap of wagging your intellectually superior dick at the Twitter bait. I’m pretty sure every reasonable baseball observer with an iota of sense agreed with your position, and if not, they are not worth the effort. No need to call attention to some Twitter dipshit’s trolling over and over again.

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