A lot of them just paint a rather generic portrait of a rageaholic, but some of these tweets are more than a little bit tinged with genius…
HOPE THIS YAWN GOMES MOTHERFUCKER KNOWS HOW TO GET RAD. ONE SPEED. ONE LIFE. ONE CHANCE. PLAY LIKE A PUSSY AND YOU’LL END UP IN VEGAS, BRO.
— NotReallyBrettLawrie (@HelmetTosser13) May 17, 2012
JUST DRANK 20 5-HOUR ENERGIES BECAUSE FUCK A SUSPENSION. MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO PLAY BUT I’M GONNA BE FUCKING DIMED FOR THE NEXT FOUR DAYS. — NotReallyBrettLawrie (@HelmetTosser13) May 17, 2012
0-FOR-4 WITH TWO PUNCH OUTS & A STOLEN BASE. GOT AGGRO. GOT DIRTY. STRUCK OUT HAAAARD. THAT’S ALL THAT FUCKING MATTERS. SUCK IT, DUMB ASSES.
— NotReallyBrettLawrie (@HelmetTosser13) May 17, 2012
IF I HIT A BOMB TONIGHT, I’M SLIDING HEADFIRST, STRAIGHT THE FUCK INTO EACH BASE, ASSHOLES. IF I’M GETTING SUSPENDED, I’M GOING OUT AGGRO.
— NotReallyBrettLawrie (@HelmetTosser13) May 16, 2012
http://www.brettlawriefacts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/lawrieexplosions.gif
The “Novelty Twitter account about Brett Lawrie” field is becoming surprisingly crowded. No way this bastard’s taking my market share.
The last one in pure fuckin gold haha
Yes indeed it was. Would be awesome to see a player do that one day. maybe his last game before retirement or something lol
I lol’d hard at the last one. The first few were alright, but that last one really nailed it.
I laughed the most at the first one…amazing.
Bumfights 4 in the netflix queue made me laugh.
Holy fuck I’m dying over here. Genius.
This parody twitter account has to be the closest to what the person would actually say. Especially the Yawn Gomes one.
My favourite parody Twitter account is one called @blawrie13
Stoeten , this is your cheap way of dissing Lawrie. Get those messages off or there will be a drive-by shooting in front of your house, you cheap fuck!!!
Wow. Calm down.
Threatening a drive by? Are you fucking for real?
Let’s assume this is sarcasm and all sleep safely tonight. I think the cheap fuck comment gave it away.
seems like a perfectly rational response.
perhaps you should have included “you’ll live to regret this”, but hey – there’s always next death threat.
this must be the guy who threw the beer the other night…
Nice IP address, Mr. Indictable. Holy fucking dumber than dumb.
hahaha, thanks for posting that!
That was classic!
good find, the guys pretty good
hahahaha The Yawn Gomes one just killed me
This guy’s pretty good. Part of me wishes it was really Lawrie.
Nice to see the DJFs have cemented their transformation from “ordinary foul-mouthed drunk fans” to “baseball hipster-nerd cognoscenti.” Apparently, taking cheap shots at Lawrie is what all the non-athletic guys with beards and chunky frames are doing these days.
I wish you all the success in exacting the cool-kid recognition that eluded you in high school. Just know that Lawrie could update your “punching kitty” guide with your girlfriend and sister at the snap of his fingers. Try not to spank to that while your taking your weekends off between blog posts.
Just when you think the comment section has reached the UFC bottom of the barrell, another member of the tough guy, soft head moron brigade steps up to the plate and knocks one into the stratosphere. The free fall continues.
There was a time when that sort of heckling was accepted and appreciated in the DJFs comment thread. Now we’ve got a bunch of moralizing and hand-wringing hipster fanboys, whose primary goal seems to be to position themselves relative to other hipster fanboys. You all remind me of these people: http://vimeo.com/42209600
And the defence rests its case. Here I thought posturing was reserved for the fictional cognescenti you speak of. Irony. A fucking +.