Welp. That was a steaming pile of wretched offal, wasn’t it? The first game I can remember in a long fucking time where I didn’t even make it out of the first inning– hey, kinda like Brandon Morrow! I didn’t learn until I went online to check that Carlos Villanueva had taken over.

Hey, it happens. It just really, really, really fucking sucks when it does. I mean, remember when I said yesterday that with three straight wins the Jays would have the same record as the Rangers? That kinda feels like a distant memory, doesn’t it?

But that’s baseball. Right back up on the horse for a 3 o’clock start in the Texas heat (it’s 30 degrees in Dallas, and feeling like 38, according to the Weather Network, if you believe in that “we’re even tougher than we look” horseshit like wind chill and the humidex). Let’s go, Hendo!


Oh man, that’s amazing, Colby Raaaaaa-smus… hitting second! Holy shitballs! And while, granted, it’s because Kelly Johnson is out hurting (Vizquel starts at 2B this afternoon), it’s not entirely undeserved, if you don’t mind looking at a tiny sample size. He’s 6 for his last 19 with two doubles, a triple, and a pair of walks in there. I’ll take it.

Brett Cecil talks to Jeff Sammut of the Fan590 about his recent no-hit start, and his retooling in the minors.

Torontonians, take note: at tomorrow’s Jays Days event at Opera Bob’s, they’ll have Caplansky’s Delicatessen Food Truck parked outside! If you haven’t enjoyed yourself some Caplansky’s yet, seriously do it!

And lastly, at Gray Matter, Kevin Gray wonders about the called third strike to Brett Lawrie in last night’s game, suggesting that there was very possibly more to it than an umpire wanting to get the fuck off the field and into the bar after a 14-3 snoozer. As in, it was a reputation call, and a continued punishment for Lawrie’s… well… you know.

I’d like to believe it was more a “let’s get this fucking thing over with” call, but… I don’t know– not that it’d be a whole fucking lot better if it was. I was long done watching by that point, as I suspect a shit-tonne of other people were, so here’s what it looked like on the TV (at a slightly weird angle, mind you), and according to the Pitch F/X from Brooks Baseball (from the catcher’s viewpoint).

TV: Sportsnet

And now the lineups, by way of the live box score at theScore.com. And for those of you who’ll be out and about, be sure to follow all the action on your phone with Score Mobile

Toronto Blue Jays

Y. Escobar SS
C. Rasmus CF
J. Bautista RF
E. Encarnacion DH
J. Arencibia C
E. Thames LF
B. Lawrie 3B
D. Cooper 1B
O. Vizquel 2B

H. Alvarez RHP

Texas Rangers

I. Kinsler 2B
E. Andrus SS
J. Hamilton CF
A. Beltre 3B
M. Young DH
D. Murphy LF
N. Cruz RF
Y. Torrealba C
M. Moreland 1B

C. Lewis RHP


Image via Ronald Martinez/Getty.

Comments (337)

  1. #FreeDavidCooper

  2. Zaun on Greinke: “Greinke is a wild-card, you never know what you’re going to get. There’s some emotional issues there and he’s a guy I don’t want in my clubhouse”. This after they showed a clip of the hockey round table on the Fan590 actually discuss if the Jays would say no to Arencibia for Greinke. Fucking ridiculous that this is what we get as baseball “reporting”. Get these guys off the air.

    • Shut up. Seriously??!?!

      Zaun can do nuts and bolts in-game analysis quite well, but he has quickly become absolutely fucking worthless because of all this other kind of meathead drivel.

      • I’m also now assuming Zaun wouldn’t want Joey Votto in his club house because of similar reasons. Also, in the primetime sports clip, sports “expert” Damien Cox scoffed at the IDEA of trading Arencibia for Greinke – straight up! Crazy stuff, indeed.

      • He’s become, as a recent emailer to the Up and In Podcast put it “the Don Cherry-Sound Bite Clip of Canadian Baseball Broadcasting”

    • Anyone else remember the brains on here who were afraid Snider would be traded for Greinke? Much more stupid.

  3. Man, Vladdy’s legs look like they’re going to fall off when he’s running.

  4. Even Alan and Jerry were saying “swing the bat” because of the expanded strike zone.Game was over, swing at everything.Amazing that Gray is looking at the conspiracy angle.
    Hasn’t anybody ever played the game?
    Fuck the umpires do it in peewee baseball.
    No need to extend a blowout.

    • I don’t disagree, actually, but any time anyone plays the “hasn’t anybody ever played the game?” card, they kinda need to be told to fuck off.

      • Perhaps
        So I’ll take your “fuck off” as constructive criticism and change it to “hasn’t anybody watched the game being played?”
        It may sound condescending but I expect something better from Gray.

      • BTW Stoeten
        Just so I know the rules.

        Which is worse playing the “hasn’t anybody played the game” card
        or “I know everything about baseball because I read fangraphs” card?
        Maybe Robert from Scarborough is a baseball God after all.

    • Ridiculous to play up the conspiracy angle if you saw the strike calls fireballer Jeff Mathis was getting in the bottom of the 8th. Ump was ready to go home. As he should have been.

    • I remember an ump when I was about 13. I was pitching and he called about 25 straight pitches balls. At least eight of them were dead centre strikes. The players, coach and parents were going apeshit.

      Every pitch he would get out of the crouch and turn his head be fore the ball hit the mitt. This is what happens when you get some 15 year old dork with a God complex.

  5. Good thing we have Cooper and Vizquel to rejuvenate this offense.

  6. Overheard in the upper deck during EE’s first at bat: All these jays players have difficult names. They’re all from El Salvador or something…

  7. Fuck, are these Texas guys hitting 1.000 yet? Even though it’s impossible they’re going to get there.

  8. God dammit, TAKE THE OUT.

  9. I can’t bear to watch any more of this…I’m outta here and I won’t be back!

  10. Imagine that, you give the best hitting team in baseball an extra out and it results in an extra run, how unpredictable.

  11. Lol impressive one hit no walks two earned runs.

  12. Its frustrating that Alvarez refuses to throw something out of the zone when he is ahead. Its really bloody frustrating.

  13. Question for the group: assuming Greinke is made available, what would it take to get him?

    • Who cares? we’ll be selling, not buying. I say take what you can get for anyone over 26-27 at this point. This team can’t compete for at least 3-4 years.

    • Greinke already turned down Toronto as a place he doesn’t want to play.

      • When was this?

        • When he requested a trade from KC, Toronto was on a list of teams that he would not go to.

          • In fairness it wasn’t specifically Toronto that he didn’t want to go to. He could submit a list of 15 teams he wouldn’t go to. So just because Toronto wasn’t in the top 15 before, doesn’t mean the jays wouldn’t be today.

  14. Wow can anything else go wrong? Lol

  15. The strikezone definitely widened late in the game last night, so I wouldn’t read too much into that particular Lawrie AB. Here’s a strike call Jeff Mathis got on Ian Kinsler:


  16. Alvarez is a good fielder in the sense that he has quick reactions, often knocks down balls coming at him and gets to bunts quickly, but he seems to always make dumb throws.

  17. So we’re 4 outs into the game and have managed to give Texas 3 bonus outs so far. I’m sure this won’t end badly.

  18. will the umps are fucking us shit stop now. the umps suck, the refs suck, everybody sucks and right now the jays suck.i would trade jp for pitching and yunel for anything worthy.sign EE and KJ

  19. Missed what happened with YEscobar and the umps? So…what happened?

  20. pat and buck at their finest today.mute is on before the 3rd is over

    • Even though you have mute on, you still know they’re talking about something. Keep an icepick in place by the remote in case you need to jab it into your ear.

  21. I’ve never seen a team so incompetent when it comes to cashing in runners on base with no outs. When you have first and third with no outs, it actually takes more effort NOT to score.

    • With RISP: 126OPS+
      With a man on 3rd, no out: 129OPS+
      With men on 1st and 3rd, no out: 210OPS+
      With men on 2nd and 3rd, no out: 123OPS+
      Bases Loaded, no out: 364OPS+

      Clearly you either don’t watch enough baseball or you haven’t learned how to use Baseball Reference because they’re above league average (sometimes significantly so) in all of those splits.

  22. lol classic jays of late runner on third no outs and get no runs, well i am off to do some weeding in the garden. Probably going to be more entertaining and less frustrating than watching this.

  23. Well look who’s batting with the bases loaded again.

  24. “Alvarez has settled in nicely” – Buck Martinez

    I wasn’t aware having the bases loaded the last two innings was settling in.

  25. I don’t think that hot blonde girl behind the plate has seen one pitch of this game

  26. Damn! that was crushed.

  27. Cletus

  28. Colby! Er Rasmus that is…not Lewis.

  29. Rasmus at-bat:

    1. Kill a fan with a line-drive foul ball

    2. Hit a home run

  30. good play Thames.

  31. David Cooper for president :p lol MLB.com an TSN comment sections are going to be hilarious.

  32. Thames just does what he wants on the ball field, got lucky there

    • not luck heads up slide. thats like saying when someone should be out at the plate but deaks the catcher they get lucky.

      • Yes but he shouldn’t have run in the first place. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad he did, but that’s with hindsight. It was still super risky.

        • and if he stayed at second inning might have been over already. Lawrie would have got out, and they would have pitched Cooper different. Baseball is full of risk without risk no reward.

          • So Lawries steal of home earlier this season would have magically become a good idea if he had of made a better slide? That’s not logical.

          • except one difference Lawrie saw the pitcher with slow slot and made a break for home where as with Thames Jays had instituted a hit and run play. Instead of beeing rah-rah Snider, Thames sucks atleast say it on an actual Thames bonehead play that was the coaches who instituted that hit and run.

    • About all you can say is that he tries really hard.

    • No. He slid perfectly dumbass.

  33. Vizquel’s bunt looked like a bunt by a guy who has been in the majors for 25 years.

  34. This game is really important for the Jays to win, a loss sts up a slide that may define their season. To his credit, Farrell is managing like this is the case

  35. Home runs! Fireworks! America!

  36. Oh awesome, we’re back into joke mode.

  37. i guess their arms arent tired from last night anymore.way to go farrell for trying to get 6 innings out of the kid

  38. 75 wins.

  39. Did anyone else see Bruce Walton and John Farrell? It looked like they might have been arguing in the dugout.

  40. Wouldn’t want to take him out John.. Let’s see if kinsler can make it 4!!

  41. How is Farrell so awful at managing pitchers?

  42. Nadir Mohamed, tremendous leadership shown with the Jays recently…hey can we get him nominated for the Order of Canada.

  43. WTF? hey Stot, this may sound like homerism but, you know, gee lets show restraint

  44. hey mlb umps, im goign to fucking start a fucking holocaust and slowly fucking murder you all, you fucking terrorists fuck you

  45. Well that was bullshit. Man, the Jays have fucked up. Made enemies with the umps and now they are going to suffer.

    • You are no longer a Jays fan. Get the fuck out of here.

      • ?

        • if you try and express a thought that implies that the team may have legitimately pissed off the umps and drawn some of this down on themselves (not that this isn’t getting entirely fucking ridiculously unprofessional), the braindead thought police excommunicate you from fandom status. That’s the way of the monkey army.

          • The umpires are allowed to be emotional, but you are presenting their bullshit as if rational. Try again.

          • I’m still too hungover for this shit.

          • This will not appear any better when you sober up,

          • Actually, I’m not. I’m saying they’re exhibiting entirely human, emotional and IRrational responses in an un-fucking professional manner to an event that was also entirely human, emotional and IRrational. Neither one was right. The big difference to me is that the Lawrie incident was an isolated, one time mistake (if childish and stupid) by a hot headed young guy, where the umps behavior has been sustained by older, theoretically mature men who are employed to be neutral arbiters with minimal impact on the game they officiate. Guess who I think is most at fault here.

  46. the human element enters the game. revenge

  47. Wow I’m not much for conspiracies but this is fucking ridiculous.. Hate to say it but at least Alvarez is out of the game now.. When buck and pat are mad you know something shady is going on

    • You got it…those guys make a fortune off Rogers selling pablum. And they’re absolutely pissed. The call HAS to be FUCKED.

  48. Blue Jays playing 9 on 13 out there. Kinsler didn’t even react to the pitch. These fucking umps suck.

  49. Bunch of Nazi Bastards

    • Maybe it was naive, but I honestly did not expect to see Godwin’s law in action on a sports blog. Shouldn’t they be relegated to the comment sections in the Sun and Maclean’s?

  50. What the fucking Fuck. That Is Horseshit.
    Maybe the tinfoil hat mouthbreathing brigade has been right about the umps conspiracy.

    • Earlier Buck & Tabby were basically saying that umps are not objective, they make decisions based on bias. And that they compare notes. I guess we’ve always known that, but they were saying it like is perfectly acceptable, and players should just suck it up. Jerry & Alan don’t seem to bow down to the umps like that, they were talking about how horrible the umps have been.

  51. Some notes from Deadspin on tonights homeplate ump Marty Foster:

    - Allegedly telling Derek Jeter he didn’t need to be tagged out on an attempted steal of third.
    - His lifetime ejection rate is twice the average, and he led the majors in ejections in 2004 and 2005.


  52. If umps are going to pull this type of thing they need to be held accountable, by which I mean they need to get the shit kicked out of them in the parking lot the next time they come to Toronto.

  53. whoa, our manager has a really long hook…just GIV’R Farrell!!!

  54. This is turning into a very interesting game.

  55. Countdown to one or more of Stoeten, Parkes, Fairservice or Wilner declaring that the umpires are right and that we the fans have no right to expect impartiality. Countdown to these pedantic hipster self-loathing peanut gallery douchefucks torching what remains of their credability.


    • Parkes is already doing it. He’d happily argue the sky isn’t blue if Jays fans took the opposite position.

      • Cmon … That’s not it at all.

        It was obviously an idiotic call.

        He’s just saying not every shitty call against the Jays is evidence that the umps are pissed at the Jays now.

        Shitty calls do happen to every team all the time. That IS a fact. Happened to the Jays before the Lawrie thing, and will keep happening after.

        • Do you guys remember in one of the Tampa games, TBay pulled a double play on the Jays – but the ump claimed the TB player didn’t have his foot on second. Even though he CLEARLY did.

          I mean, if that happened to us, you know most of us would be saying ‘this is because of Lawrie!’

          You know?

          • There’s a difference between just making a shitty call, and ejecting players for no/little reason.

            Stoeten and Parkes also do go out of their way to take the opposite position from most Jays fans. They were shitting on Lawrie and making fun of the maple boner stuff long before any of this latest stuff.

            It’s fine, they’re just following in the footsteps of their mentor, Wilner. But the original point, that they’ll go out of their way to talk about how this is probably just ump stupidity vs. actively fucking the Jays, is true.

          • Your argument would have held until the Álvarez ejection. Was Nova ejected for CLEARLY throwing at Bautista’s head in 2010? What is the difference? Álvarez has about as much reputation for hot-headedness as Nova did.


        • I think it’s probably a little bit of column a and column b. Marty Foster is a dick and has always been a dick, but between Lawrie and the consant bitching about balls and strikes this year the jays have a target on them for dicks like him.
          And if you think that these guys have no credibility… WHY THE FUCK DO YOU READ THEIR BLOG, DOUCHE?

          • No, you fucking sphincter, you have it backwards. They want me to read their blog or listen to their show (hah) and take their arguments seriously. Now go back to supporting the umpire and their legitimate bias against the Jays, you self-loathing slice of shitburger.

          • I have more respect for grouchy and Ice Cream Jonsey than for you. Buh-bye.

          • “No, you fucking sphincter, you have it backwards. They want me to read their blog or listen to their show (hah) and take their arguments seriously. ”

            mm… I’m not sure that’s true!

          • “Your argument would have held until the Álvarez ejection. Was Nova ejected for CLEARLY throwing at Bautista’s head in 2010? What is the difference? Álvarez has about as much reputation for hot-headedness as Nova did.”

            I don’t know man … I have a feeling we could find a lot of missed calls that have gone both ways. We just don’t give a shit about the ones that don’t go our way.

            Hey – don’t get me wrong, I’m pissed by some of this ump shit lately too. It’s just … I’m not really worried there’s like a Jays vs umps all out war now.

          • Seriously enough that I won’t laugh and ignore their deal, as I do Wilner’s. The TV pre-game show is considerably better than the radio pre-game show, so I only hear Wilner when Ashby is humouring him. Its one thing for Parkes to troll and pretend baseball is as static and obvious as Newtonian mechanics, but quite another for new media personas to define themselves by their contempt for their own readership. They simply haven’t been around long enough to see the results of doing that consistently.

          • Actually, I’m not a self loathing fan… I’m pretty happy to hate the Yankees, Red Sox, Douchebag Umps who are unquestionably fucking over the team, the Rays to a lesser extent, Bud Selig, Joe Torre, People who watch Jersey shore, and the entirety of MMA culture.
            When it comes to the Jays, I’ve bled blue and white since I went to my first game at the ex as a 4 year old… I just managed to grow up in my fandom since then, unlike some, and can appreciate that things aren’t always going to be perfect.

          • I just find it funny to see all the people who say they hate parkes and stoeten and the way they write about the jays, and then actively seek them out to troll them when it obviously ruins their fan experience and drives their rage. It just doesn’t seem to make sense to me.

  56. This is going to be an ugly season and will not stop until the league does something, which they wont. Jays will take it in the ass for a very long time and when the team gets a rep changing personnel, unless it complete turnover…wont make lick of difference. Blow outs or go home cause anything close is getting shoved up their ass.

  57. Holy shit.

    Well at least that would have probably been Alvarez’s last batter anyway.

  58. How the fuck can the ump let Perez get away with that strikeout pitch to Hamilton…shoulda been tossed!

  59. Rationally, I know this is one game of 162, and it’s still only May …

    But I am now incredibly invested in the game, and man… I just know I’m going to get super excited and then crushed by the end of this one.

  60. I thought MLB umps were the best and most consistent refs in all of pro sports before this season began. My opinion has changed.

  61. On the plus side… we haven’t had an enemy to hate like this in a long time to motivate all the couch sitting casual fans… Say what you will about anyone on these boards (even that callous unemotional parkes…), but its impressive to see the way the fan community has grown this season.
    A common threat tends to do that.
    So thank you Umpires
    And Fuck you very much indeed.

  62. ooooo…coco time ;)

    • It’s amazing how Coco has turned it around since that Oakland debacle. Maybe he will offer some value this season after all.

  63. Cordero’s loogie almost hit Cooper

  64. bout toime colby contributed in a big way

  65. Henderson Alvarez is not long for the bigs with his one plus pitch.

    I really thought that when he came up his changeup was better than it is now. His change now is nothing more than a slow fastball with little downward movement.

    His slider is a fucking joke of a pitch which the hitters only offer at when it is a cement mixer right over the middle of the plate (refer to the first two homers of the 6th inning).

    The guy must be last in the league in hitters average with two strikes. Its as if the hitters are must as likely to get a hit with two strikes as they are 3-1.

    that is not good.

  66. Man, how many fans has Rasmus killed now with those laser foul balls? At least 3, I’d say.

  67. Im actually impressed that the Jays have made this game competitive. After last night’s game and the first inning of this one, I figured it was going to be another blow out.

    • Well, this is a hell of a road trip. 6 in TBay and Texas.

      The Hutchinson game just felt like a guy not quite ready for the majors getting beat up by a great team. And yesterday was a lost cause with Morrow starting off like that.

      The other three games have been fairly impressive considering the competition.

  68. This wont take long folks.

  69. Aw God. Texas is going to have a walk off win aren’t they?

    This game has just felt like a serious kick in the balls waiting to happen.

  70. ready for the end here…fuck

  71. Pitching to beltran is like pitching to Guerrero in his prime. he will swing at anything and there is really no pattern to what he will do. he’ll swing at pitches over his head and make solid contact.

  72. yeay. free bases.

  73. I Santos even pitching in extended spring games or is he still just throwing on the side?

  74. Thames cannot throw the ball 60 feet in the air without bouncing it. but hes so SCHTROOONG

  75. WTF, is Thames a mongoloid?

  76. Good for Janssen.

  77. Jesus Christ I couldn’t even watch that inning. Fuck.

  78. i hope buck and pat sit on their nuts while on air

  79. Thames is just the worst decision maker. Someone needs to write “do the opposite of what you’re thinking” on the inside of his glove.

  80. OK, so I am not going to be a pessimist and say that I have this inevitable feeling we are just prolonging an inevitable, painful loss. (even though that is how I feel)

    I am instead going to say that I feel a big inning coming up here for the Jays and a crooked number will be put up, followed up by a shut down inning by whatever scraps are left in the pen.

  81. Great, Gollum is in the game.

  82. When we get to these late inning situations, I feel like every single one of the jays hitters is trying to hit a homer.

  83. A million ways the Rangers can kill ya, now they’re going with the Roger Dorn strategy

  84. …aaaannnnd we are running out of pitchers.

  85. Wow. Can’t believe the Jays held them off in the 9th and 10th.

    For the sake of the pen, they really need a run here. The real depressing thing would be if we burn out the pen AND lose.

  86. God. Look at the ERAs of Texas’ relief pitchers:

    Ogando: 1.35, Adams 2.08, Nathan 2.29, Uehara 1.06.

  87. If you post your worst fear and apply the exponent of 3, you will be a grat prognosticator

  88. No hits since the 7th, hats off to the Jays hitters.

  89. This is some kind of mangled, borrowed Texas dance, no? Musical fucking bases have to start with no outs for you to score, cabrones.

  90. let’s swing at every first pitch and put every leadoff runner on base

    great idea to win in extra innings!!!

  91. Wow, huge inning from Oliver. Only 7 pitches.

  92. Last thriteen jays hitters have failed to reach base. Way to make the pitchers work guys.

  93. Other than they probably still feel great about last night’s game, this has probably been a angsty, frustrating game for Texas fans too. They’ve squandered a ton of opportunities.

  94. Update:

    Last 14 jays hitters have failed to reach base.

  95. update: first jays hitter to reach in 15 Plate appearances: Rasmus.

  96. So some more damning statistical info on Alvarez.

    He has a K/HR ratio of 1.7.

    In other words, he cannot even strike out twice as many hitters as he gives up homers

    • whats yoiur problem with alvarez? he is getting the job done no matter the numbers.do you have a better replacement/

  97. check that..the ratio is now 1.4

    I didnt include today’s game result

  98. Oboy. Rasmus & EE are engaged. JP needs to step up as well.

  99. Seems like every team we play has a bulpen loaded with unhittable pitchers.

  100. So which is worse BJ hittig coach, piching coach, Umpires, Man in the mirror, self back-patting management, Ace

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