So, if you haven’t heard, apparently Brett Lawrie got himself into a bit of a minor swearing controversy last night, stemming from his alleged response to some heckling fans at Miller Park.

Parkes has a recap of this bit of business over at Getting Blanked, in which he quite rightly notices that, judging by a change in tone about the events, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s Tom Haudricourt may have found himself lost in an all-encompassing cloud of maple-defensiveness, as a slew of Twitterspherians fell over themselves to insist that there are other people whose fault abso-fucking-lutely must be pointed out in order to spare to whatever degree possible the good name of the Golden Brett.

Never heard of anything like that happening before, have you?

Anywho… not one to be outdone by whoever was running to Haudricourt with their point-missing petty technicality of a defense, Twitter’s deliciously over-the-top fake Lawrie, @HelmetTosser13, came running to the rescue of damn good sense…

Amen!

 

Image via Scott Cunningham/Getty.

Comments (23)

  1. Fucking brilliant!

  2. “FULLY DIMED CARPET BOMBING OF FUCKS” shall be my band’s next EP.

  3. Someone call Cooperstown and see if the Jays set the record for most back to back to back fuck’s last night.

  4. People think that the mysterious crop circles are created from other lifeforms.

    They are actually there from Brett Lawrie telling them to “LAY THE FUCK DOWN!”

  5. Nailed it.

  6. That picture above couldnt be a more opposite representation of personalities.

    Lawrie: “Sweet jacks bro! Were fuckin money man! Lets go get liqoured right up and bang some bitches tonight!”

    Rasmus: “Haha. Awwwwwwwe, awwwwwwwwwwwwe……….haha,awwwwe? I forgot what I was gonna say.”

  7. NEXT TIME BRETT, PULL A CANTONA – SPIKES HIGH FEET FIRST INTO THE KIDS FACE #FUCKWADS #DIMED

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRDzXV7IgiI

    Fake Brett Lawrie is awesome.

  8. Oh grow up Milwaukee. You’re the city that loved Harvey’s Wallbangers and has more bars per square inch than any other place in America. Yeah, I’m sure Gorman Thomas and Pete Vukovich never said fuck. Hell, sit at field level for any game and you’ll hear fuck and shit all the time. If a manager gets tossed you’ll hear a George Carlin routine.

    • Yeah, that looks credible. Twitshit strikes again.

      • He was definitely close by, though. Not that that means he’s credible.

        https://twitter.com/RickeyH35/status/215282467010117632/photo/1

        • I’m not one for defending Lawrie because of his passport, but really does anyone really think it’s bad if your kid hears some bad language at a ballgame? If you’re sitting near a dugout? One of the greatest events of my childhood was going to rugby matches in England with my dad, and believe me hearing the odd ‘fuck’ from the crowd and the players was the least of your worries.

          Baseball’s meant to be a real sport, not a fucking day out at fucking Disneyworld. 40 years ago Mickey Mantle was telling kids to get the fuck out of his way and shut the fuck up. It’s fucking tradition.

  9. Ben, beautiful post.

    Mickey Mantle was hung over the most of the time, so could you imagine the fuck-right-offs flying at those lecherous little fuckers. I’m getting pissed off just thinking about it. Fuck.

  10. Helmet Tosser’s Twitter feed is fucking hilarious.

    You tell em you jacked fully dimed up nuclear bee shooting aggro fucking carpet bomber.

  11. My favourite is “AM: GET RIPPED AT THE GYM. PM: GET RIPPED AT THE BAR.”

  12. that tweet could only have been more complete if it included a “bro”–as in, “in life, bro.”

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