Welp. If you’re going to start Aaron Laffey in the jokingest of the joke stadiums of the American League, you might as well do it against the pitcher they used to call Dice-K, and hope that you can keep on lining your cannon fodder up against theirs, giving you at least a shot to out-slug your opponents. I don’t see how the fuck else the Jays are going to manage to keep their heads above water, especially when staring down the prospect of Scott Richmond and Jamie Moyer joining the rotation at some point in the near future.

It ain’t good.

Ahh, but maybe it changes once we get the word on Henderson Alvarez. And hey! Adam Lind is back! Not that I’m… y’know… hopeful, but at the moment, I don’t think see how we’ve got a whole hell of a lot but hope. At least as far as 2012 is concerned.

Let’s shitcan these fuckers!


Here’s the only scuttlebutt we need: Shi Davidi tweets that it’s good news for Henderson Alvarez: he has mild elbow inflammation and will make his next start. Phewf.

TV: Sportsnet

And now the lineups, by way of the live box score at theScore.com. And for those of you who’ll be out and about, be sure to follow all the action on your phone with Score Mobile

Toronto Blue Jays

Brett Lawrie 3B
Colby Rasmus CF
Jose Bautista RF
Edwin Encarnacion DH
Kelly Johnson 2B
Yunel Escobar SS
Rajai Davis LF
Adam Lind 1B
Jeff Mathis C

Aaron Laffey RHP

Youk-less Massholes

Mike Aviles SS
Dustin Pedroia 2B
David Ortiz DH
Cody Ross RF
Adrian Gonzalez 1B
Will Middlebrooks 3B
Jarrod Saltalamacchia C
Darnell McDonald LF
Brent Lillibridge CF

Daisuke Matsuzaka RHP


Image via Winslow Townson/Getty.

Comments (219)

  1. Shake dat Laffey-taffy, Go Jays!

  2. WOOOOOOO! Aaron Laffery CG Shutout

  3. Brett Lawrie needs a t-shirt that reads:
    “Pronounced Lori”

    or something.

  4. I’m worried. Jays are not typically a good Gyro-ball hitting team…

  5. I’m heartened by the fact that we don’t have Brent Lillibridge starting in centre field. Two batters in, and my prediction is we get out to a quick lead and hold on, then lose tomorrow. Two out of three from the Massholes will do just fine.

  6. I’m ready for the Aaron Laffey experience!!

  7. Dice K looks like he’s older than Moyer!

  8. I’d be reaaaallly appreciative of a yunel escobar bloop.

  9. Bummer they only got one run there. This team needs to score in bunches.

  10. The look on Farrell’s face was priceless.

    “the fucking Nancy hasn’t learned a damn thing”

  11. I feel much more enlightened thanks to zaun and his “3 ways to win”.

  12. Is that Roy Halladay out there?

  13. I am here. Where Ball?

  14. Over/Under for Laffey in this game?

    I’ll set the number at 4 innings and I will take the under.

  15. On August 5, 2009, Laffey pitched eight innings and gave up only one unearned run on six hits. I am convinced he is a diamond in the rough. This will be a great start.

  16. davis is tearing it up.bye snyder

  17. Davis gets picked off at 1B. Trade value down :((

  18. What a Cock-block… Rajai pulls off a stupid move like that and then Lind gets a hit right after that… what BS

  19. Lind gets a hit!!!

    Too bad about Davis getting picked off.

  20. I don’t think Lind will try to lead off of 2nd that far…

  21. If Rajai didn’t have his head up his ass on the bases, Mathis would of laid down a sac-bunt and we get 2nd and 3rd with Lawrie up to hit with the Redneck Rampage

  22. Wasted inning.

  23. Looks like Laffey’s doing some good shitballing so far.

  24. good ol joe west

  25. Adam Lind is in worse shape than Stoeten.

  26. You silly sum bitch…. Hayuckyukyuk

  27. anyone think AA could get much for KJ? i’ve been thinking about it, and i’m not sure how i would value him.

  28. Laffey’s career is about to take a sharp turn, he is the next Walter Johnson.

  29. You guys are awfully hard on poor Laffey; give the poor bastard a chance!

    • Jimbob, Laffey is currently being given the chance of his life.

      • You’re right; it’s just that everybody’s already jumped off the “Laffey” bus before he’s even had a start…preferring to throw him under the bus instead.

        • Fans are often mighty proactive when it comes to protecting their hearts. Laffey is (hopefully) enjoying his moment in the sun, and doing fine. The jury is still out. Stay tuned.

  30. “if it were done, when tis done, then twere well it was done quickly”.

  31. Hmmmm. Yes. Welcome back Lind.

  32. This epic pitching duel between Laffey and Dice-K confuses me.

  33. When his career is over, Brett Lawrie will have a higher WAR than Babe Ruth, according to Baseball-Reference.

  34. Two Red Sox pitchers the Jays can never hit, and everyone else does. Bucholz and DiceK.

  35. Good work Pat and Buck…all top prospects are off limits. Let’s trade Justin Jackson for Cole Hamels!!!

    • On the other hand, Jerry Howarth just lamented the fact that stadia do not display “first-pitch strikes” as a live statistic. Radio PBP, yet another awesome traditional aspect of baseball.

  36. Well I’ll be damned, 5 innings and 0 runs.
    Jays fans really have to be happy for this performance.

  37. Can DiceK please take longer to pitch?

  38. I’m sure I just heard buck say “two studs were picked up…”
    Must be hearing things.

  39. I just wish the umpires would enforce the rules in the book. Get the damn pitch clock established and you won’t need to use it much because the usual repeat offenders won’t like having balls called.

  40. Drink, Little Looper.

  41. I am happy about Laffey (hapffy). This is not the same type of Sux team, not as patient, etc. Aviles .281 OBP, Dusty Pete .329, Salty Dog .300, Darn A. McDonald .301, Lilly Bridge .225, even Gonzalez has a .320 OBP.

    Only Ortiz, Ross and Middlemarch are above league average


  42. Rajai rules!!

  43. Rajai, rebuilding his trade value, lol.

  44. And that ladies and gentlemen is exactly why Rajai is in Left and not someone else

  45. That was the best throw I have ever seen Rajai make. Great throw and tag.

  46. Pretty good throw by Rajai there.

    Of course Snider would have broken out a ladder and climbed the wall to catch that, thus not even needing to throw home.


  48. KyleZ called the CG shutout at the begining….don’t think he meant it but…

  49. While snacking on a gorgeous Sammy.

  50. Ortiz looks like he could eat Laffey for lunch.

    Nice play by Mssrs. Davis and Mathis.

  51. ok Lind, nice hit, now show off the calisthenics by scoring from 2nd here. leggoooo Bretzky

  52. 6 shutout innings; I guess he gets another start? Davis played the ball awfully off the wall, by the way. Had he played it better it wouldn’t have been close

  53. Does Lind’s bat speed look a lot faster or is it just me?

    • Lind has had a good night at the plate with 2 hits. I think the demotion to Vegas was a wakeup call for him. He has 1 guaranteed year left, so if he plays poorly his career is over after next year.

      If Edwin can rebound after being sent to Vegas then why can’t Lind.

      Edwin is making less money now than he was in 2010 due to his poor performance up until this year.

      • To me its all about his approach. It’s only been 1 game plus a plate appearance, but Lind is FINALLY doing what he should have been doing all damn year, swinging at good pitches to hit regardless of the count. He’s no longer trying to take a walk every single at bat. His swing looked awful prior to his demotion because he’d watch 2 meatballs go by him for strikes then he’d be forced into taking bad defensive hacks to try and stay alive and the result more often than not was a K or a weak grounder or pop out.

        There’s also something to be said for a guy’s confidence when he can go smash the shit out of terrible pitching in a thin aired atmosphere for a month.

  54. Come on Colby….keep it rolling.

  55. hey guys let’s all take a shit on Lind like a good fanbase does

  56. i wonder if we can take any positives from this game — like I’m positive it didn’t go down how you drew it up in the game threat…..but hey, always easier to shitcan it all…..then when it doesn’t say “SSS”! Go Orioles!

  57. Nice outings tonight by Stilson (5IP 3H 0ER 3BB 5KK) for New Hampshire, Sanchez for Lansing (5IP 2H 0ER 1BB 3KK) and Comer for Bluefield (4IP 1H 0ER 0BB 4KK).

    Also Laffey. Big tip of the hat to him for that performance.

    • Stilson?

      The missiles are flying…hallelujah

    • Ur a big Stilson fan, NM.
      Thanks for the update.
      ditto on Laffey

      • He’s another guy that dropped because of injury concerns. Quite frankly didn’t expect him to be doing so well as a starter. All the experts keep saying he’s going to be a late inning guy but even if he’s just that I’ll take it.

        Maybe it’s not this year but by next year you could have a pen with some serious power arms in Santos, Stilson, Farina and Stroman.

        Farina is another guy to watch. He was on his way up quickly before he got injured. Still have to wait a bit to see if he’s got his power stuff.

  58. Thanks Fras!

  59. Time to drive Jason Frasor to the edge of town so he can be free.

    • Well that’s better than the drive into the country with a shovel and a shotgun.

      • Yeah, but that means time in Millhaven. It’s also not nice considering that he is the sausage king of Chicago.

  60. That’s it for me…I’m gone! Can’t take any more

  61. Is it me or has Frasor given up a few big hits this year? Who was throwing when the Marlins got that Salami last series?

  62. Fraser is okay when he doesn’t pitch back to back; when he does, he sucks on the second day

  63. Come on guys, that was a bullshit fucking Fenway pop fly dinger. Not only that, Im not even gonna make any comment against the pitching this game when this fucking team cannot even score more than one run against the decaying corpse of Dice K

  64. saltamachia

    VS RH 12 HR

    VS LH 1HR

    now isn’t it fucking obvious what the correct move is. Farrel is such a fuckhead

  65. Hm… not a huge fan of taking Perez out after one batter and bringing in Pauley.

  66. Just came to say fuck Farrell. Have a good night everybody

  67. You need to score more than 1 run at Fenway. Wasn’t a bad pitch by Frasor, should have left him in.

    • Yeah … the homer given up by Frasor doesn’t bother me much. You have to expect to give up something against the Red Sox in Fenway.

      Taking out Frasor, then Perez after one guy, then putting in Pauley? That annoys me though.

  68. Yep, later y’all not staying around to witness this custer fuck

  69. Thank you David Pauley

  70. Another loss all on farrell. Why the fuck do you leave pauley in there? makes no sense.

    • Farrell made a horrible move. Who is David Pauley & why is he in a Jays uniform.

      Is Farrell trying to help the red sox win so he can be their next manager.

      Why was Luis Perez only used for 1 batter when he is a long man.?

      Farrell should apologize to the fans after the game and laffey for screwing up his first start this year.

  71. ARGH

  72. Some shit coaching from farrell

  73. pauley is no laffey

  74. Should have left frasor in to finish.

  75. David Pauley? David Pauley? We cannot do better than this guy? I mean a pair of hairy balls is better than this guy.

  76. That’s what happens when the manager relies on DFA’d guys. HBP, shitty walk, single by a former MVP. Fuck.

  77. Terrible bullpen management there. Did Perez really have to be pulled?

  78. wow wow wow WOW

  79. Why did he even take out Laffey in the first place, with two of three hitters being lefty in the inning? What the fuck was he thinking?

  80. Makes no sense to pull Frasor, pull Perez after one batter, and leave Pauley in. This one’s on Farrell for sure.

  81. should of stuck with Frasor to finish out the inning.

  82. This is blue jays baseball, walk batter, hit batter, then give up hit, blown save, blow game open, heartbreaking loss.

    • Nah. As far as heartbreaking losses go, this game would be nothing compared to what we’ve seen this year.

  83. What, is the fucking plan to show the red sox pitchers they’ve never seen or actually pitchers that can fucking pitch!!!

  84. The fucking stupid part of the 7th was that Perez should have started the inning with more lefties due than righties. Then taking them out so quickly, stupid shit bp management.

  85. Where are the fucking bats?

  86. YAY! Pauley is back for the next inning!

    What. The. FUCK IS GOING ON?!?

    • David Pauley is the new savior. he gets to pitch to far more batters than luis perez who has been pitchinh well this year.

      farrell felt sorry that the red sox would be in last place if they lost to the jays tonight.

      farrell waits till the game is lost before bringing in richmond.

      Farrell is an embarrassement tonight.

  87. Leaving Pauley in? Wow…

  88. WOW zaun made an incredibly smart comment. You always make the switch hitter switch around as it’s hard to adjust late in the game.

  89. Terrible bullpen management. Farrell really threw this one away. Granted, the bullpen isn’t great, but it’s not hard to see where mistakes were made. Just awful….

  90. Is david pauly related to pauly shore? They both should quit their day job.

  91. Atta boy Farrell he didn’t get the first six guys out, might as well leave him out there for a seventh you cocksucker

  92. Can someone take a cattle prod to farrell to get him to come out of the fucking dugout?

  93. Pauley’s line:
    0.1 IP / 18 pitches / 4 hits / 1 BB / 1 HBP / ER = TBD

    I know they’re hurting for pitchers, but fuck me, this guy should be DFA’d immediately.

  94. Horrible bullpen management, but the jays have to score at least 4 runs in Fenway anyways. The Red Sox will end up scoring in that Joke Park, need the offense too.

  95. When I left to take a shit it was still 1-0 for the Jays. I come back and it’s 3-1 Red Soz and Pauley is facing Adrian Gonzalez with two on and no outs… and as I type this he knocks in another run… Typical Jays bullpen…

  96. For once I want Buck and Pat to admit the managerial decisions are “questionable” at the very least…

  97. Ugh the pen strikes again.

    Oh well. A real pity though considering nobody and I mean nobody expected the gem we got from Laffey. Would rather see them lose a slug fest by blown save than waste a great performance like this. Kind of unfortunate with some of the AB’s in the first couple of innings being hit right at people too.

    3 BS for Frasor this year already : O (

  98. Well that sucked large.

  99. What the Jays need right about now is a couple little loopers, a blast or two…another couple 3 loopers & a blast………for good may-szhure….

  100. fuck on the fly I can do this – Pauley has a not insignicant history at Fenway – 99 PA and gives up a .970 OPS, probably his worst performance in any ballpark (there are worse OPS at US Cellular and Tropicana but on only 25 and 12 PAs respectively so much smaller sample)


    • alright maybe I was being unfair – almost all of those appearances were when he was a young pitcher making a few starts for the Sux in 2006 and 2008 – just a terrible outing, you owe us a few good ones now Pauley

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