Now it’s time for all the stuff I don’t figure on making full posts out of, with the spiffy graphic by Matt English (aka @mattomic). It’s your Afternoon Snack… er… Afternoon Hangover… er… links!!!

In the shadow of tragedy, and some despicably thoughtless actions by a handful of “fans,” comes uplifting news: Omar Malave’s family has already reached their fundraising goal in trying to pay for a life-saving operation for the GSL Jays’ manager’s granddaughter, thanks to support from all kinds of fans and folks connected with the organization– not to mention the great work of Bob Elliott in getting the story out there.

Mike Wilner has also been key in getting the word out about the Malaves, and did so again in his post-game post last night at whatever they’re calling Miked Up these days, touching on last night’s unfortunateness, as well.

At the National Post, John Lott talks to Ricky Romero about coping with his struggles this year, but it’s Darren Oliver who steals the show, telling Romero to check his locker, having placed a media guide there, highlighting a pair of Oliver’s worst seasons in it. According to Romero, “he’s like, ‘It happens. It happens to the best.’ ” GOLD! Darren Oliver is the best.

Amazeballs: the Toronto Star has a picture of Edwin Encarnacion that just may out-emo Emo Juan Uribe.

Elsewhere at the Star, health reporter Megan Ogilvie looks at some of the gut-busting garbage available for way too much money– sorta like everything else– down at Rogers Centre.

Mike Rutsey of the Toronto Sun talks to Brad Lincoln, who is working through some struggles early on in his Jays career– and who apparently has deleted his Twitter account. I can only imagine the insufferable morons who must have been trying to shit down his throat after his recent performances, so it’s hard to blame him for that.

Paul Atfield of the Globe and Mail talks to Aaron Laffey about his performance last night, and discusses the pseudo audition process that’s going on for Jays pitchers, after Alex Anthopoulos said publicly this week that only Brandon Morrow and Ricky Romero are assured of rotation spots for next season.

At Minor League Ball, John Sickels looks at Vancouver pitcher Roberto Osuna, who has impressed him with his performance against players two-to-four years older than he is in the Northwest League this year. He suggests he’s contemplating grading him as a strong “B” prospect, or perhaps a “B+” in his next guidebook, and passes along an even more detailed scouting report from MLB Dirt.

I was saving yesterday’s turd from the Toronto Star by Damien Cox for a Book of Morons piece– either on him or whoever the fuck actually lets him pontificate about baseball– but I’ve decided that it would take too much effort just to get to a conclusion we all already know.

Mop Up Duty takes a look at the incoming Texas Rangers, who get their turn beating up on the Blue JAAAys starting tonight.

Christian Corona of also previews the series, looking at Yu Darvish– heard of him?– and his quest for consistency.

Lastly, it’s Friday, which means it’s time for the always-spectacular Getting Blanked GIFs of the Week.

Comments (62)

  1. Lol “it happens to the best.” Apparently it happens to Darren Oliver too…

  2. Damien Cox is a fucking moron. I can’t put it any different than that.

  3. Tough season to try and stay positive seeing as we’re pretty much in ‘wait til next year’ territory. Then to read about fans being ass-hats relating to last night and Brad Lincoln’s twitter etc etc is like the icing on a cake of negativity. Prove me wrong, people!

    • We were in “wait til next year” territory since spring training. This was never supposed to be a contention year.

      It was to answer question marks, see where we stood with a whole lot of young players, and see where our holes were. I think that has been more or less accomplished, and we know where to focus our resources for 2013, which IS a contention year: starting pitching.

      • The team’s marketing department & the strong spring training record showed that they had a chance at winning 85-90 games if they were healthy

        They were not healthy & underperformance by Romero, Escobar, Thames & the bullpen mess with Cordero did hurt the team.

  4. I hope that doesn’t start an EmoEdwin meme, cause the Emo Juan Uribe was never funny to begin with

  5. Damien Cox can fuck off, actually everyone in the media who writes these doom and gloom we’re never gonna win again pieces of tripe can fuck off. Be nice if the media would spin a different story, one about a young team on the rise, needs fan support, Toronto’s best chance for a championship any time soon etc..etc..

    Cram those stories down their throats non-stop. Most people are fuckin drones if the papers and TV tell them to get out to the ballpark enough they’ll go, make yourselves fuckin useful

    • Cox stated the facts that the Jays are being passed by the Orioles , Nationals , Pirates etc..

      Cox forgot that other teams use the FMV of the broadcast contracts on payroll.

      AA would be able to use an extra 20-30 million efficiently to upgrade the bench/LF get a solid veteran 3rd or 4th starter etc.

  6. Brett Cecil should donate $1,000 every time he has to hide his face in his glove during a start.

    I’m sorry, that was mean. Good on him for helping out. Can’t wait for his second career as a LOOGY.

  7. “Amazeballs”? Ugh.

  8. But you gotta do a Book of Morons post. See, I’d love to see what shit he’s spilled onto paper (you know, cyber paper) but I refuse to give him page views.
    I’m at a loss here. Unless I can read it in a hilariously crafted Book of Morons post it’s a lose lose situation.

  9. That Edwin picture is nowhere near as emo as Emo Juan Uribe. It is clearly Edwin’s shoulder that is in pain, whereas it is clearly Uribe’s soul…

  10. A Roberto Osuna start with Vancouver (from the MLBDirt report): “The final line for Osuna was 5IP 1H 0R 1BB and 13K. He threw 75 pitches on the night, 58 of which were strikes and 45 of those 58 strikes were swinging.”

    45 motherfucking swinging strikes!!! In 5 INNINGS! Jesus Fucking Christ, that is some serious prospect porn!

    • hey now. good riddance kevin comer…

    • Osuna is looking amazing. I’m definitely starting to feel the hype.

      That said, I can’t help but wonder if the kid is actually 17.

      • “That said, I can’t help but wonder if the kid is actually 17.”
        No! Please don’t go there. Total porn ruin (as opposed to ruin porn).

  11. I like the amazing coincidence that had Ricky going to Oliver for advice, and Oliver – always one step ahead – already had the media guide put in his locker.

    lol that’s pretty heads up on Olivers part. Or, more likely, he’s strategically hidden media guides in every pitchers locker before the season started, so that when the inevitable struggles happen, and that pitcher comes to Old Methuselah looking for advice, the wise old sage need merely answer with a mysterious “go check in your locker”

    As well, how did Oliver get in RR’s locker? I would imagine there are some pretty valuable items in pro athletes lockers and thus they would be serious about making sure they’re locked properly. Did he jimmy it with the media guide?

    So many unanswered questions…………..

  12. I prefer the Toronto 51′s over the Toronto Blue JAAAys. But full marks for the effort.

  13. Damien Cox is such a fieking tool. Even in regards to hockey he is an idiot, except it just stands out less there because most hockey columnists are idiots.

  14. When is Cox going to “ask the question” in regards to Edwin Encarnacion’s success at the plate?

  15. Megan Ogilvie…. 100% chance she got called fat as a teenager

  16. No way that pic of Edwin out-emos Juan Uribe, there’s just so much context to Uribe’s photo.

    Also, Cox should probably stick to covering hockey, then I wouldn’t in any way be interested in reading his work.

  17. Cox admitted to watching something like the first half an hour of the women’s USA-CAN soccer match and then thought that was enough for him to right about how the women’s team should stop whining about what happened,

  18. cox this cox that ….. i just heard greg fucking zaun say he “fully expected henderson alvarez to be a top 5 starter in the american league coming into this year”

    • Saying ridiculous things gets you attention. Attention gets you page views. Page views gets you more money.

      Therefore, saying ridiculous things > saying sane things. Like things that most people believe.

    • plus dc is a coward … saying shit without letting us get back at him with comments … ignorant, feiking cowherd!

      • Very Good Point.

        I think he learned his lesson after accusing bautsta of taking stereoids.
        Questions have to be asked.

  19. The math in the Star nutrition article makes no fucking sense.

    > “But would you guess that this small tray of nachos has more than twice the number of calories than two orders of onion rings from Harvey’s? ”

    I wouldn’t, because the nachos have 611 calories, and double the calories in two Harvey’s onion rings orders equals 1,120 calories.

    > “He probably would not have minded that it has more calories and nine times (nine times!) more fat than four medium-sized pieces of cheese pizza from Pizza Pizza. ”

    He probably wouldn’t mind, no – because the poutine has 48 grams of fat, and 9 times 4 Pizza Pizza cheese slices totals up to 180 grams of fat. That’s not even CLOSE.

    • Well, she got you to do research on the healthiness of the things you eat. So in a way, I guess you could say her job is done. But it seems like in a much more real way her job is undone because those numbers didn’t really make sense to me either.

  20. I like how Oliver considers himself to be one of the bests :D

  21. Let us hope that Ricky simply chose the right year to have the shittiest season of his career

  22. Blue JAAAys!! LOL!!

  23. McCown with Brunt, and before that Jim Kelley, was pretty awesome, because Brunt and Kelley brought out the side of McCown that isn’t entirely an insufferable prick. Putting him with Cox has the opposite effect, of producing “massive asshole squared” as Cox snorts and giggles and farts over the other guests and generally makes the show impossible to pay attention to any more, while behaving like the school bully’s less intelligent sidekick.

    Yeah, I’m talking Crabbe to McCown’s Draco Malfoy. I went there.

    • I used to listen all the time, and have stopped entirely, starting almost exactly around when Cox came on. Not by any choice, either, but now that you mention it, I think that’s totally why.

    • Good points ben, and well stated.

  24. Tis but a scratch!

  25. Damian Cox, example of dumb ass hockey guy really stood at this Escobar lost his lead off spot… Whoopdie fucking do. Escobar is not a true lead off hitter anyway, thats why he was dropped as lead off you dickhead. the lead off hitter is a hitter for average, doubles, and built for speed. not mr I hit into ground ball double plays.

  26. I normally find Cox insufferable, but I don’t see what was so wrong with this piece in particular. A lot of guys HAVE had underachieving years and the fact that the payroll is 20 million less than the fucking twins and the brewers is a joke.

    • You realize that part of the reason payroll is what it is because of the fact that they have a lot of their youth playing — some, like Lawrie, at very high levels across the league. That means they don’t have to spend a lot of money. They could use a boost to their salary to fix pitching and one or two of the other holes in the lineup but get your head out of your ass. This team is better than the Brewers and better than the Twins, regardless of salaries and standings and you know it.

      I’m sure Twins fans are saying to themselves, “I hate the fact that we suck so hard but…hey! Thank GOD for the fact that our payroll is 20 million dollars more than the fucking BLUE JAYS!” And the Red Sox fans are def saying, “Yeah, we’re only a few games ahead of the Jays right now and we are having a royal clusterfuck of a season, but man-oh-man does it feel good to know our owners are paying a fuckload more than every other club to field a team that will end up .500ish.”

      • Twins & Brewers have made the playoffs in the last 20 years.

        Yes, Lawrie provides excellent value for 480K, but it would help if you had an Edwin Jackson at 11 million to help.

        I don’t think Red Sox fans are envious of the Jays. They have been a very successful franchise over the past 10 years.

        The red sox fans want farrell to restore order in the clubhouse.

        • How many world series does the brewers have in the last 20 years, and ever 0. how many does the twins 0 there last one was in 1991 and the jays won two there after.

          whether you make the playoffs or not all that matters is who takes home the world series.

          • You can’t win a world series until you make the playoffs.

            The jays have not made the playoffs since 193.

            The Jays have been in only 1 or 2 pennant races in August since 1993.

            1998 & 2000 were relatively competitive augusts,

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