Alright, more playoff-atmosphere’d baseball! Y’know, for us too leech off of the damn Baltimore Orioles and their insufferably fucking lucky fans.

Let’s stick a knife in their hearts.

Layin’ Down the Law

Aaaaaaand because I didn’t have time to squeeze them into today’s Afternoon Snack, it’s the Jays-related nuggets from last Thursday’s KLawchat at

Dave (NJ)
Do you think Brian Butterfield is a legitimate candidate to manage in Houston in 2013?
I have no idea what his chances are, but I would certainly endorse him, having worked with him several years in Toronto.

Richard (Toronto)
What does the move from Las Vegas to Buffalo mean for the Jays developmentally, more consistent stats to analyze, better ballpark, closer to home? Did the Jays essentially win the jackpot by getting Buffalo as an affiliate?
Better ballpark is the key. Look at Gose, Snider, Hechavarria in Vegas this year. Totally misleading, and it’s harder to develop hitters in that environment, not just pitchers.

Zack (San Diego)
If Vizquel did reach 3,000 hits, how would that affect your opinion of his HOF chances, if they do at all? I know you are not a big fan and think of him as a homeless man’s Ozzie Smith
It would not. I don’t believe in arbitrary benchmarks for the HoF.


Nah, screw scuttlebutt. Except that, for your between inning viewing pleasure, here’s today’s edition of Getting Blanked. (Audio here). (Subscribe on iTunes for audio and video).

TV: Sportsnet

And now the Game One lineups, by way of the live box score at And for those of you who’ll be out and about, be sure to follow all the action on your phone with Score Mobile

Toronto Blue Jays

B. Lawrie 3B
C. Rasmus CF
E. Encarnacion DH
Y. Escobar SS
Y. Gomes 1B
R. Davis RF
A. Hechavarria 2B
J. Arencibia C
A. Gose LF

A. Laffey LHP

Baltimore Orioles of Baltimora’s Tarzan Boy

N. McLouth LF
J. Hardy SS
A. Jones CF
M. Wieters C
M. Reynolds 1B
C. Davis RF
M. Machado 3B
S. Tolleson DH
R. Andino 2B

J. Saunders LHP


Image via @toysubmarine/@mattomic.

Comments (87)

  1. in the name of helping the Jays rate their players for 2012 and with the urging of Small Potatoes I have come up with a 3 tiered categorization for FUKSTIKS who will be graded as Gold, Silver and Bronze just like gd gasoline.
    It will be open for discussion, we can kick it around and maybe fuckin Stoten can find s’thing to do with it like take it to Mccown or something. PLEASE COMMENT:
    Issue: Is rasmus a FUKSTIK OR NOT???—I think he will be traded
    First, some brief definitions according to my biased scale:
    1. A Gold fukstik is awarded to those players who have performed extremely poorly for 3 consecutive years, are overpaid, are unwanted in trades or even in waiver claims w/o some kind of sweetener from the team trying to get rid of them. A rebound in normal ability is virtually unlikey ( EG Vernon wells)
    2. A silver fukstik is awarded to those players who have been poor to miserable for 2 years, not necessarily consecutive, are considered overpaid but for whom a rebound in ability is possible, although unlikey. ( eg aaron Hill). Not very tradeable w/o sweeteners.
    3. A bronze fukstik is for those new to these hallowed designations in that they have had one complete abysmal season ( which might be over 2 calendar years) are bordering on being overpaid if it continues . Still tradeable as there are fools who think they can fix them and a return to normal ability is still possible but heading in a current downward direction which is a bad sign. Sort of like a bad credit rating form Moodys with a negative watch going forward. EE w/h been a fukstik at one time but is no longer there obviously so the palyer can extricate themselves from this category
    I am also toying with a Platinum Fukstik or Hall of fame fukstik rating but haven’t come up with the parameters yet.
    So without further ado here are my ratings on some of the more prominent 2012 Jays: I will be dealing with just those palyers falling into Fukstik status and if not mentioned, EG Bautista, they are not fukstiks.

    Gold FUKsTIks:
    1. Rajai Davis: Had two poor years with the Jays preceded by one with Oakland. Steals bases wonderfully, but can’t keep track of outs, makes baserunning blunders and vies with Corey Patterson for the worst routes ever taken on fly balls. Currently giving bad advice to M. Sierra on how to catch flyballs on sunny days and avoiding being picked off on base. Untradeable so qualifies as GOLD
    2. Adam LIND:
    Hitting about .230, can’t run, throw, field very well, Hit for avg or think properly. Worst ranked 1B in baseball when he plays, worst ranked DH when he does that. No one even wanted him on waivers for free. Overpaid and a gold member of fukstiks. He even makes Lyle Overbay look like an option for f sakes. Perhaps we can move him for a pitching machine.
    3/ Kelly Johnson: What can you say about a guy who is hitting less than .225 for the third consecutive year, will strikeout about 200 times despite not playing every game, plays mediocre defence and has seen the power numbers go down every year of late and is way overpaid at 6.5m . He is on his way to platinum in my book.
    He will be put in the “remainder” bin at Chapters in the hope someone grabs his ass. Certainly no ne other than AA would trade for such a Fukstik

    Silver Fukstiks
    1. Kyle Drabek:
    Christ for a guy who came with so much fanfare he has been mostly dreck. For the second consecutive tear he has walked guys at a ridiculous rate while running up some incredible pitchcounts. Who can forget his effort in Minny throwing 100+ pitches in 4.1 innings? The cathers hate him as every 2nd pitch is a 55ft curveball that the batter won’t swing at and hopefully one of our catchers can block it. Seems to be thick as a brick and would qualify as Little Milton of Jethro Tull fame. Likely terminal and may never be seen in BJ uni again
    2. Jason Frasor:
    Mr home run ball himself. Basically looks like he is done, but his numbers were awful for Toronto last year and even worse for the Chisox after we traded him there .This year until he was hurt he was just as bad allowing a lot of inherited runners to score and let’s not forget the grand slams he gave up to the stiff Ibanex of the NYY to cost us a game, to Aramis of the Brewers which w/h have cost us another except for a miraculous comeback and the 14th inning pos HR to Hamilton which cost us yet another. Frasor does not bring relief –he brings heartburn and needs to go-definitely a FUKSTIK on the way to gold-please go somewhere else
    3. Brett Cecil- down to the minors for the 2nd consecutive year and less and less faith shown in him. Can’t seem to get the ball down avoid the HR ball and certainly no one wants him a trade. Can’t seem to progress at MLB level to acceptability of the BJs

    Bronze Fukstiks:
    1. Ricky Romero
    13 straight losses and counting, an ERA over 5.7 for the year and a team losing confidence in him. Leading the league in walks and pitches thrown, this guy looks in total breakdown mode. He may be able to recover and he still has some value in a trade although severely reduced.
    2. Henderson Alvarez:
    I know, great promise but the facts are his ERA is at 5 and at the moment he is nothing more than a batting practice PITCHER for the opposition most games-needsa strikeout pitch or he will move to silver and then likely back to the minors or whatever. The year has to be rated as poor for a guy who showed such promise early on-hope he gets it together.

    Colby Rasmus , I am holding off on mainly because he has good power numbers and w/b taken in a trade so he avoids fukstik status for now, but he better get er goin. Vizquel is an old man and is retiring so is pointless to rate him but really, not much there anymore really-Johnny Mac w/h been better
    Guys like Gomes w/b a fukstik at an avg of .176 but if the ever makes the big club for real then we will look more closely at him. Same with Mcoy.

    • And already the game threat is a billion times better than the game.

    • Fuck dude. Really my attention span is not that long to read your long ass comment. Please keep it to 100 words or less or get your own hipster blog.

      • FamousAmazingGuy says:
      07.17.12 @ 9:53 PM EDT
      not sure why they’re burning coco in a low leverage situation?

    • Ok fukstik….I want those 85 seconds of my life back. Is it too much for you to use the spell check on this fucking comment section or at least use some punctuation correct?!?!

    • +1

    • I like it but it’s obvious you need to find full time employment

  2. How the hell does a perfect game spoiled by really bad call get the nod over the that robbed the Buffalo Sabres of a Stanely Cup?!?! WTF

    • FamousAmazingGuy says:
    07.17.12 @ 9:53 PM EDT
    not sure why they’re burning coco in a low leverage situation?

  3. This winter I’ll overbid and win the Childrens Wish “Be the Jays GM for a Day” Charity Auction.

    As Alex Anthopolous gives me a tour of his office, I”ll strong arm the little bastard and lock him in his supply closet. With free reign, here are the moves I make in the remaining 23 hours at the helm of the Blue Jays.

    1) I sign David Ortiz to a two year deal at market value. There is little other interest for him besides a half hearted effort by the Red Sox.

    The Red Sox balk at the second year and ultimately get what they want, cutting ties with the veteren slugger and opening up AB’s for their youngsters. Sox immediately villify Ortiz in the media using words like “loyalty” and “greed” when they address the media.

    2) I overpay for Edwin Jackson in both salary and term. He has some question marks but he has established that he is durable and gives his team a chance to win almost every outing.

    3) I take advantage of an off year by the aging Michael Young and the dissapointed management of Texas fresh off another World Series loss.

    I flip a B level prospect to Texas for Young and even get them to eat some salary. I think Young still has something left, he’s banged out 200 hits for the last decade and I think Texas just disrespected him one too many times by changing his position 3 times in 3 years. Texas has Olt and Profar, two younger, cheaper infielders trying to get at bats so Nolan isn’t heartbroken to see him go. If it works out Toronto will get some semblance of save-face for the awful Loaiza-Young trade. Michael Young becomes our super-sub, spelling starters at 3rd, 2nd, 1B and DH.
    Big upgrade over McCoy and Visquel.

    4) Sign an aging catcher for pennies on the dollar who can hit a little bit (Barajas, Olivo, or Blanco) and split time with Mathis for the first month or two of the season.

    4) I trade JP Arencibia, Nicolino and Mike McDade to Florida for Josh Johnson. Loria wants to cut ties with anyone who makes millions and the Marlins are in youth mode. I could probably wait on trading Arencibia until D’Arnaud is ready but fuckit. 2012 was all about injuries and drama, I want to remove this one piece of theatre that the media will surely make a spectacle of preseason. A successful month or so in Buffalo and our top prospect gets the starters job in Toronto.

    5) I call Kelly Johnson, I tell him his option is being declined.

    6) I call Yunel Escobar and tell him he’s playing second base in ’13. I also tell him to accept it, embrace it, and to give it full effort or I’ll sell his contract to the Yakult Swallows.

    7) I resign Oliver and Lyon.

    8) I let Gose and Sierra know that LF is up for grabs and whomever plays better out of S.T. gets the job. I sign a cheap/possible upside guy, like Johnny Gomes, Nady or Hairston just to put some pressure on them and to give a veteran option in case the youngsters shit the bed. If one of the rooks wins the job then the vet becomes the 4th outfielder. If the vet wins the job then I send both kids down.

    2013 Jays

    I let the rest of these guys battle it out for the 5th spot.
    Happ/Alvarez/Drabek/Hutchinson/Jenkins/McGowan/Litch …….(Syndegard,Sanchez?)

    3b Lawrie
    2b Escobar
    1b Encarnacion
    RF Bautista
    DH Papi
    CF Colby
    C D’arnaud
    LF Gose/Sierra/(hairston,nady,gomes)
    SS Hechavaria

    Bench – Michael Young, Adam Lind, Mathis, Gomes

    Bullpen – Delabar, Lyon, Oliver, Loup, Janssen, Santos, Lincoln

    The starting line-up has 3 potential 30 homer/90 RBI guys in Bautista, Encarnacion and David Ortiz. A bounce back from Escobar and an improvement from Lawrie should more then cover up whatever Hech lacks in a bat.
    The infield defence is vastly improved as is the starting pitchers.

  4. Im disappointed in Davidi for writing the Snider piece after he was already gone. I want to see these pieces be a bit more timely so the media can grill the team on these things.

    • That piece can’t happen while a player is with the team. That’s just the way it is.

      • Actually, I think the interview didn’t take place until after the trade. Maybe this is just the player willing to talk now.

        If it is at this point, then there is no point in even pursuing the story- sleeping dogs and all that.
        We don’t need a post mortem, the trade happened, he’s gone, let’s move on, please.

        • Unfortunately Kids, the various and sundry Oakville69′s will never let this sleeping dog lie or die.

          • I am pleased this information came out. The original story was Cito & Snider did not get along. Snider did not like Cito’s pull the ball hitting approach..

            OK ..

            Cito is gone at the end of 2010.

            It turns out AA wanted to see what Fred Lewis could do in 2010 so he wanted to platoon Fred & Travis,

            That is absurd.

            The Jays braintrust has hammered the fans into valuing prospects, signing players for draft picks, Paying 6 million to get better prospects for Halladay. Prospect Prospect.. is all I have heard since 2009.

            So what does A do with the best hitting prospect since 2006, wherethe Jays have no other serious options????

            Let him platoon with a scrub like Fred Lewis???

            How does AA explain that? Did Snider threaten to beat him up??

            How does Rajai Davis start in LF over travis?

            Rajai is supposed to be a 4th OF & pinch runner.

            Why is Snider sitting n the minor leagues or Rajai??

    • No way the Jays would allow Snider to discuss Cito while he is still a player.

      Snider makes the Jays & AA look foolish.

      I am shocked Davidi is allowed to write this article.

      Wouldn’t AA blow a gaskit.

      • The only ones looking stupid are Snider for his whiny ridiculous excuses and you for believing there’s anything there.

      • Well the first part of his article is mostly the J.P. years so you’re probably just retarded.

  5. Begrudging the Orioles their success is on par with seeing an aurora borealis where your not suppose to and getting pissed off about it. They can best the Yankees for God’s sake! It takes a special kind of stats curmudgeon to want to prevent that from happening.

  6. Hey Blu balz-I don’t major in english and don’t give a crap about grammar. It’s get the fuckin jobdone and you can go to journalism school if you want. If you don’t want to read it man, or it is too challenging, then as they say in AG, fuckin zee off

    • I see you didn’t major in spelling or typing either but got the gist of what you were trying to say.
      Besides fukstick’s growing on Stoeten.That’s a good thing.

    • Where’s AG? They are rude there.

    • And I am the last person to flag someone for grammar but sorry it was fucking bad. But for fucksakes don’t use your or yours or you are in the wrong fashion as there is one of those police out here too. II

      • FamousAmazingGuy says:
      07.17.12 @ 9:53 PM EDT
      not sure why they’re burning coco in a low leverage situation?

  7. Once again I’m not in the Pirates’ lineup tonight. Pretty soon I’ll give a whineathon interview where I blame the staff here because I suck.

    • Let’s see what Travis does with a fresh start in 2013. Same thig for Brad Lincoln who hasn’t been that great either.

      Is Gose or Davis the starting LF in 2013???

      If AA gets Upton, I will shut up.

  8. BA put DJ Davis #3 on their GCL prospects. Behind Correa and Buxton, which is good company.
    I’ll say it again, I’m high on DJ Davis. I wish Kenny Wilson and Marcus Brisker could have put it together like Davis seems to be doing. I had such high hopes for them.

  9. Heart the Hech.

  10. Hech The Best.

  11. Endut! Hoch hech!

  12. Yank Laffey before inevitable implosion? Or keep him in and hope for it?


  13. Buck Martinez fucking loves Mark Reynolds.

  14. Brett Lawrie has become some sort of Bizzarro Lawrie in that he plays a pretty mean third base and sucks shit at hitting. I rather he be the way he was advertised.

  15. Cecil vs Thome!

    I wouldn’t do that Daaaavey…

  16. That was bad ass, Brett.

  17. I kept throwing meatballs there, but Thome wouldn’t hit them!

    • His bat speed’s fine, but he forgot his trifocals.

      • Nothing makes the wine taste better than Cecil striking out Thome.

        • Can’t say it helped mine any.

          • Pity…. At his point, I’m taking whatever small victories I can.

          • Blame it on cognitive dissonance, but you do know we’re winning 4-0, right?

            • Yup. I’m magnifying each instance to counter the effect of the last two months. I’m even contemplating taking in the Yankees this weekend.

          • Take the Bean Weasel with you. She’s one conflicted puppy. (Don’t take her up on her offer of coffee, however.)

          • I can’t reply to the person who said my name…but yes, I’m heading to the evening games this week! Post-season implications = no time for conflict, though I’m currently watching the Yankee game + it’s tough to cheer for them when they’re playing the Twins.

          • By God Spud! of all the pwople to be running an advice column. Please tell me the milk of human kindness lies somewhere in you consciousness.

          • Birddawg, I suspect what you really need is some Milk of Magnesia.

  18. Finding out Oliver calls himself Black Magic has to be a highlight of 2012.

  19. Speaking of the need for savy/wily/big presence veterans, I sure hope that Oliver decides to put off retirement.

    • Jays need liver for 2013. I think he will accept the 3 million even if he sucks.

      This game has been very enjoyable so far.

      Jays pitching has been solid.

      I expect to see Casey Janssen finish up the game.

      • The Jays need liver a la Portnoy’s Complaint?

        • Jays fans will need new livers before long.

          • LOL!

            I meant Oliver.
            Jays fans need new livers due to excessive drinking as a result of watching this team.

        • You’re on fire!

        • Y’see SP alot of these references are a foot or 3 above people’s heads…or put another way, a generation removed from everyones experience. I’ve fried a lot of neurons since Pornoy’s complaint and liver thing. (btw great reference!) And “Cognitive Dissonance”? Yikes! I loved Social Psych but I’d long since forgotten that one. Had to look it up .

    • It’s amazing how he does poised and confident comes through with spotless innings 90% of the time.

  20. A rare sighting of a Bundy in his natural habitat…

  21. Casey Janssen folks. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

  22. Stoeten, is there a way to just erase the comment rather than making it disappear because it fucks up the comment time line?

  23. Let’s review Sickels’ pre-season Jays top 20 prospects list. I’ve added + or – to evaluate John’s work.

    1. D’Arnaud (+)
    2. Marisnick (-)
    - Nestor Molina (-) bad first half, improve 2nd half
    3. Syndergaard (even)
    4. Nicolino (+)
    5. Norris (-)
    6. McGuire (-)
    7. Hutchison (+)
    8. Gose (+)
    9. Jimenez (injured)
    10. Sanchez (too low)
    11. Wojciechowski (-)
    12. Cardona (-)
    13. Anderson (-)
    14. Dwight Smith Jr. (even)
    15. Musgrove (even)
    16. Dean (-)
    17. Hechavarria (too low)
    18. Carreno (even)
    19. Jenkins (even)
    20. Perez (even)
    21. Knecht (-)
    22. Sierra (even)
    23. Crouse (-)
    24. Osuna (too low)
    Others of Note
    DeSclafini (too low)
    Lopes (too low)
    Nolin (too low)
    Gabryszwski (too low)

    Sickels generally did a pretty good job despite how difficult prospecting is. I don’t think he can tell though who will take a big step forward, but he does have a grasp on a prospect’s relative value up until the ranking. What we need is a second list that will tell us where the prospects will be ranked in one year too.

  24. Due to the unpredictable (volatile) nature of pitching and pitching prospects, DJ Davis may be a top 5 prospect right now for the Jays.

    I’m really that high on Davis.

  25. I’m thinkin’ the Jays Org. is wishin’ they would have waited a year on the uniform change.

  26. The 2nd part of the Snider article is up at sportsnet.
    Curious to see what everybody’s reaction is.
    Are the Jays the evil empire who fucked Snider around or was Snider overwhelmed and naive about the Show?
    Let the shit show begin.

    • In the article Snider comes across as one of those guys who looks for an insult in everything that is said to him.

    • Today’s piece is interesting. Snider certainly comes across with a sense of entitlement. I still belive the majority of the blame in handling of the situation (not necesssarily the result) rests with Cito and the previous regime.

      But I think AA did exactly what we would want our GM to do. Tried to lock up a player with a club friendly contract. The fact that it got into Snider’s head is more a reflection on Snider.

      • I agree with the latter statement. But the sense of entitlement stuff is completely absent from what I’m reading. I mean, you get the idea that his head isn’t quite on straight, but I certainly wouldn’t call it a sense of entitlement.

        • perhaps I chose the wrong words. I like how you phrased it better. He comes across as an emotional and worried kid…which I guess he was.

          I go back to my comments yesterday. It is up to the coaching staff to work with the personalities they have, becuase newsflash everyone, MLB is different than a 9 to 5 job where 90% of your staff is replaceable. This is the area where there was an epic fail by the Jays i.e. cito &co

        • I think there’s also evidence of an evolution in his thinking. He describes how he felt at the time but he also seems to acknowledge in a few places that he sees things differently now.

        • Dunno Stoeten.
          At bare minimum, his idea of what to expect at the major league level and reality of life in the Show was different.
          Not to be sarcastic but what is the lesson to be learned for future young stars called up.
          Let the player keep his habits and not point out what are his weaknesses ie release your hands early or pitchers are gonna exploit it.
          Or wait for the player to fail then point out the mistakes in his swing?In case his psyche can’t deal with the criticism.
          When a guy has had previous success, hits .183 in April, are you just supposed to hand him another 500 at bats hoping he gets better?.
          Is Snider the only player to get razzed in the locker room?And should veteran players be told to give rookies some space to adjust?
          It seems like Snider felt he was handled poorly from the start.
          What exactly should the Jays do in the future to avoid something similiar happening to the next phenom rookie?

          • How about not anointing a prospect as being a phenom prematurely?

          • In this day and age, prospect porn hype is inevitable.
            From Trout to Harper being hailed as can’t miss prospects, the pressure to perform will always be there.

  27. I agree with the comment that it is up to mgmt to deal with each individual personality and their traits and on that score I would have to give a FAIL to the Jays. Similar to mgmt in a company, that while it sounds nice to say “we treat e’body the same” the reality is different people react differently to different stimuli. Asa youngster Snider was propably a lilltl overintimidated by Cito et al and it just went downhill.
    Now that the psycological poop has been stated, I must say that when I played A ball as a pitcher, if we saw a batter like snider with the ppor approach to high inside fastballs and pitches just out of the zone he would get a steady diet of it til he adjusts.
    Significant numbers of minor league pitchers have trouble doing that so he was reasonably successful in the minors feeding off a lot of fat pitches. Once in the show where pitchers have better command and defences that pitched to his weakness a lot better and his avg. plummeted.
    Tenace likely saw this looming troublespot in MLB and wanted him to work on that weakness but the poor communicaation lines open at the time did a disservice to both.
    Now, Travis will get a clean slate and a new shot. He will, however, have to do something about that glaring weakness or he will never be much more than a .250 hitter, enuf to be a ERic Hinske type as someone else said but certainly not a reliable middle of the order bat.

    • @ fukstick

      So did any coaches give you advice?
      Were some more blunt, in delivering the message than others?
      I’ll bet that some of them even contradicted each other.

      • contradictory all the time…you are right.

        Also, as you can guess, most young guys figure they know it all and therin lies part of the dilemma. Look at Lawrie:
        as much as I luv the guy he can improve in many areas but I suspect it takes a special coach to get thru the red bull mania-not sure if Farrell can do it

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