Welp, here we go with the off-season.
In truly the most shocking news ever imaginable in the history of the world, Bobby Valentine has been fired by the Boston Red Sox. Drew has the details over at Getting Blanked, where he relays an official club tweet that tells us GM Ben Cherington will be heading up a managerial search… again.
And, again, John Farrell is in the sights of… if not the Red Sox themselves, the entire fucking Boston metropolitan area.
Seriously. If you hate yourself, go do a Twitter search for Farrell and enjoy all the entitled twats who think Farrell is simply there for the taking, if the magnificent Red Sox come a-calling.
He might ultimately go, of course, but the number of words spilled and painfully fanciful trade scenarios concocted over this is about to get even more insufferable, it seems. Though at least one person thinks we’ll, mercifully, get it over with relatively quickly:
Time is of essence with John Farrell. If Jays will listen, it could happen fast. If not, Sox will move on quickly.
— Jon Morosi (@jonmorosi) October 4, 2012
And if you agree with Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun in his latest point, Farrell has failed, and you might as well just let him go.
Of course, if you agree with that Simmons piece, clearly you are a fucking hopeless goddamn moron.
Seriously, this chartered member of the fucking Flat Earth RBI Society laments how Farrell hasn’t delivered on the progressive tactics he came into the job preaching about (fair), says that these have been “two seasons of disappointment, lacking in definition” (incoherent), somehow puts it on the manager that “he has, in fact, won fewer games in each of his two Toronto seasons than Cito Gaston managed in his last controversial year on the job” (blindingly fucking stupid), justifies it with the lamest of the impossibly fucking lamely smug straw man horseshit lines– “No one, on the day he was hired in 2010, said anything about winning fewer games, not more games” (fuck him in the fucking face)– and continues playing (or perhaps just being) monumentally fucking dumb, by pointing out that “Bob Melvin has been something of a magician in Oakland. Robin Ventura changed the culture of the Chicago White Sox. Buck Showalter has absolutely altered the mental outlook of the Baltimore Orioles.” (shit stain)
Holy fuck, do the teams who saw fit to fire the goddamn up-managing wizards who inhabit the humanoid forms of Showalter and Melvin five fucking times in their managerial careers ever have egg on their faces right now, amiright??? Because obviously there is no other earthly fucking reason for the A’s and O’s success than the mighty will and otherworldly magical abilities of leadership of their managers. And we totally believe this, of course, because we are all fucking children. Or maybe just at their reading level– it is a piece from the Sun, after all.
Anywho… yeah, Valentine’s out, Farrell’s name is going to come up a billion fucking times, and yet the equation hasn’t changed in a damn year: if the Red Sox want to give up something significant, the Jays will have no choice but to listen. But since the Red Sox aren’t the fucking mental equivalent of Steve Simmons, they’re not possibly not going to do that, meaning the only way Farrell actually moves is if there really is untenable tension between the manager and GM, in which case… meh. Move on then, sure.
The Jays’ problem this year was a lack of talent, plain and simple– and the same can be said of the Red Sox. Worrying too much about this manager bullshit is mostly just a nice way to sell papers, or to insufferably fucking rant on the radio like you actually truly believe you offer anything of value and aren’t just a goddamn blowhard in love with the sound of your own voice. It really doesn’t matter.