— Enrique Rojas/ESPN (@Enrique_Rojas1) November 16, 2012
AA has gone full bad boy. He pissed off everyone in baseball by stealing the Marlins soul – and without pausing for so much as a minute to give a shit – he’s done it again by reportedly reaching an agreement with Melky Cabrera. Two-years and $16 million is what we’re hearing.
Presumably, the conversation went something like this:
AA: We’re interested in bringing you to Toronto to play for the Blue Jays.
Melky: I have some interest from several teams.
AA: What are they offering?
Melky: One-year incentive-laden deals.
AA: We’ll give you two years, guaranteed.
Melky: Amo Toronto y todos los fanáticos del béisbol canadienses.
Ok, so let’s rundown just how fanfuckingtastic this is before the trolls chime in with their dimwitted cries of “he’s a cheater” and “he won’t be any good without his precious PEDs”. The question of who hits in the two-hole has been answered. If the season were to start tomorrow, then the Jays lineup would look something like this:
2B Izturis -or- Bonifacio
Sweet son of Ted Rogers’ ghost that’s something to behold, isn’t it? And don’t act like that sexy .346/.390/.516 triple-slash line is all due to PEDs. A slight regression would be in order, but it would be for anyone putting up gaudy numbers like that.
Drew has more on the Cabrera signing over at Getting Blanked, and I’m all but certain that Stoeten will be jumping on here shortly to have his own say. With that, I leave you with some epilepsy inducing eye candy.
Three GIFs for Melky Cabrera