Gibbons, come on! You can’t leave the desk like that!
According to a report from Bob Elliott of the Toronto Sun, the Jays will announce on Tuesday morning that they have re-hired John Gibbons– Gibbers!– to be the manager of the club.
I just… I don’t know where to even begin, except to say that I hope it’s true, that I think this is friggin’ awesome, and that I’m certain people are going to absolutely hate it. And that that makes me like it even fucking more.
No fucking way!
Of course, it’s not like Elliott isn’t sitting on a string of dud reports, so maybe I shouldn’t get too giddy just yet. But The Sun is full-on going with the story– it’s their main headline at the time of this writing, as Elliott explains that “Anthopoulos and Gibbons were spotted dining in Yorkville Sunday night,” and states emphatically that Gibbers “will be introduced Tuesday morning as their next manager.”
The two, Anthopoulos and Gibbers, were close friends, Elliott tells us, during Gibbons’ first tenure in the city. It somewhat of an odd pairing– a Montreal Greek boy in his early 30s and a mumbly military brat Texan fifteen years his senior– but hey… whatever works. And whatever brings back Gibbers’ comprehension of platoons, keen (as far as I care to remember) bullpen management, fluid lineup construction (remember Vernon Wells, leadoff hitter?), his shrapnel-assed hard-assness, and his perma-jacket.
Was it all perfect? Hell no.
But was it anywhere near as bad as the tools who smugly bring up the fights with Ted Lilly and Shea Hillenbrand want to pretend they think it was, even though it’s completely transparent that they’re the kind of mouth-breathing stooges who’d love a manager to light a fire under a couple of insubordinate fuckfaces, just as long as it’s not a manager they want to dumbly shit all over because they’re unable to comprehend why it’s the shitty roster, not the manager, who’s hurting their poor widdle dunder-fucking-headed feelings with losses?
I don’t think so.
I think this is going to be fucking terrific, and I’m especially giddy about the fact that Alex Anthopoulos, if this is really happening, evidently does not give two fucks about the cognitive dissonance he just created in the heads of so many of the knee-jerk fans who wander around blind to the fact that a 95-100 win team is going to lose four games out of ten.
You can hear me offer some quick thoughts in the afterglow of the news on tonight’s edition of Montreal’s The Kaufman Show.