Izturis, Shane Spencer, and a Rogers Centre turf more realistic-looking than the current rug, ca. 2001
Matt Eddy of Baseball America tweeted mid-afternoon Wednesday that the Jays have signed a minor league deal with Cesar Izturis– half brother of the newly-signed Maicer, and one-time Jay, having been dealt after the 2001 season, along with Paul Quantrill, to the Dodgers for Luke Prokopec and Chad Ricketts.
It’s a nifty little depth move, but didn’t seem like nearly as interesting a transaction as it turned out to be.
That’s because not long after the announcement, the following tweet from someone named @CesarIzturis started getting RT’d around:
My friends i woudl like to announce that i will be joining my brother with the toronto blue jays and i am very ecited for this opportunity
— César Izturis (@CesarIzturis) November 22, 2012
Seemed appropriate enough, right? I didn’t even bat an eyelash before retweeting it myself. I mean, who’d start a fake Cesar Izturis Twitter account, right?
Um… yeah, it turns out apparently someone can.
smother my balls in whip cream to ease the pain they feel on fire call that stupid bear tell him i try to prevent fire balls didnt work fuck
— César Izturis (@CesarIzturis) September 17, 2012
Even Ken Rosenthal– Kenny Ken Ken!– got burned, retweeting, innocently enough, something from what turned out to be a mostly-bizarre, adolescent, AIDS-phobic account:
One of the game’s nice guys. RT @cesarizturis: Can you tell the fans that i have signed with Toronto.
— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) November 22, 2012
The feed’s content, we all quickly found out, typically looked more like this:
my dick on fire right now not sure if from prostitue or flaming hot cheetos i wiped my balls after i ate them
— César Izturis (@CesarIzturis) September 7, 2012
It’s… pretty completely fucking ridiculous, and especially striking when compared to Rosenthal’s approving passing along of what seemed like an entirely banal, genuine request.
Shit, I’d even give kudos to whoever made the warped decision back in September to start a fake Twitter account for Cesar Izturis and turn him into a foul-mouthed, hooker-banging, AIDS-fearing intolerant imbecile with an affinity for Cheetos and talking about his genitals, and then managed to unleash it in a perfect moment to bend our minds with its sheer weirdness. But… um… AIDS jokes? What year is this, Fake Cesar?