It makes certain clowns who linger in the comments upset whenever I use the word Schadenfreude around here, but I figure even those poor sad souls will have a tough time getting pissy about anything with this picture of Derek Jeter staring them in the face.

He looks… about as athletic as I’ve always believed.

Granted, we can see in a different picture from the New York Post that his ankle is still in a boot… which apparently makes it very difficult to do sit-ups or to put the lid back on the Pringles can. HEYO!

Oh, I kid, Captain America. I kid, Yankee fans. [Note: Not really.]

 

Hat tip to Baseball Think Factory.

Comments (47)

  1. I hope I look that good by the time i am his age.

  2. Must have been dipping into those leftover gift baskets a bit too much.

  3. Id still pound his asshole.

  4. Look at how tiny his T-Rex arms are compared to that gut.

  5. No offence, but super-weak post. Don’t Deadspin-ify this blog!

  6. He looks like Michael Chiklis. With bad burrito-burn.

  7. lol.. aside from his face he doesn’t look out of shape.. he’s just wearing a XXXL shirt like a bum. Does have some spindly arms though.

  8. Looks very much like John Travolta here. But in all honesty he doesn’t look out of shape at all. There’s no gut, and just cause he isn’t as toned as a WWE wrestler doesn’t mean he’s not in shape. I bet more than half of the guys in the MLB look like this

  9. AA sees this, Okay Get me Brandon Mccarthy’s agent on the phone. Jays strike now!

  10. Looks like he’s trying to squeeze one off.

  11. Worst shape of his life and he still looks like I would if I lost 20 pounds. Fuck this guy.

  12. Maybe he’s like Rainier Wolfcastle….landed a role as a fat secret agent.

  13. God at first I thought he has cancer or something, and that we were preparing to gloat.

    Nope, no cancer, just a (more so) big ol bag of shit.

    Fuck the Red Sox.

  14. Schadenfreude? Fucking hipster.

  15. Who has a problem with using the word schadenfreude? It’s a great word. I almost quoted Avenue Q but then I didn’t know if quoting musicals was acceptable at a baseball blog. Oh well.

  16. I hate Jeter as much as any Yankees hater and all this made me think is “so what?”. It’s not even 2013 yet. The guy has tons of time to get back into shape. If anything his body could use the rest.

  17. Meh maybe it’s because in 39 but I don’t get the impression that he is a fat slob or something. In any case athleticism is not the same as being ripped with a six pack.

  18. Jeter has pounded Rachel uchitel, mariah Carey, vanessa minnillo, Jessica Alba, Jessica biel, and minka Kelly. I’d have to say that even if he was 400 pounds with the physique of David wells at 50, he’d still be god to me. I wouldn’t kick any of those girls out of bed for eating crackers.

  19. The end is nigh for Jeter’s playing ability, his 2013 will be telling.

  20. Sriously- is this DJF orTMZ?

  21. Let it not have come to this. C’mon Stoeten, we’re depending on you.

  22. I’m sorry if someone is worth millions of dollars for being an athlete/model/actor it comes with the celebrity, people will notice your appearance. If Minka Kelly or Jessica Biel or Mila Kunis or Natalie Portman or Erin Andrews or any of the any other woman in the spotlight gained a few pounds it’d be front page news all over the world. We’re not allowed to comment because why? He’s FUCKING Derek Jeter?????? You dudes getting all weird about Stoeten posting this are LAME. Not to get all feminist here but I’m sure if Erin Andrews gained 20 pounds you wouldn’t be all over the internet commenting on photos “Guys c’mon lay off she’s not filming anything the next couple weeks, give her some time?”

  23. Stoeten poking fun at someone with a weight issue?

    Sounds like the pot is calling the kettle black.

  24. He’s on the verge of a manboob.
    If you don’t hate on Yankees, you love Yankees.
    I approve of this post.
    Also,
    “Nebelwerfer”
    That is all

  25. Oysterbar pankcakes jump the gun 1 2 3 lets get going window shade rhinoceros chimichanga

    Picture frame your seahorse hypothesis.

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