Meh. Couldn’t possibly be worse than the current clown…

Jose Canseco isn’t a Canadian citizen, doesn’t have a residence in Toronto, and while he maybe isn’t quite into Darren-Daulton-talking-to-lizards territory, uh… you get the sense sometimes from his Twitter feed that he might not be bringing a full bag of balls to the home run derby, if you know what I mean. But hey, woeful ignorance and having the sharpness of a bag of wet hair hasn’t stopped anyone from having an interest in Toronto’s mayorship before *COUGH*, and apparently isn’t going to again, as Canseco tweeted last night that it’s his intention to run… which… is… awesome.

To be perfectly frank, not to mention beyond lame, I’m kind of of the mind that the functioning of our city should be taken a whole lot more seriously than to ever consider the five minutes of satisfaction that comes from sticking it to the other shitty candidates by pulling the lever for some hopelessly underqualified, proudly ignorant fuckhead… or even Jose Canseco–  HEYO!

But on the other hand, this turning into an actual, real thing would bring me way, way too much joy.

That is, at least until I think of Jose’s poor agent, doing the Lord’s work…

“Canseco, born in Cuba, is an American citizen, and, thus, ineligible to run in Toronto,” writes Toronto Star reporter and utterly patronizing tweeter Daniel Dale. “But in another tweet to the Star, he said he plans to ‘work out the citizen thing.’ His agent, Jose Melendez, added in an email that Canseco is not taking the matter lightly.”

“He is serious about a run but as you know he doesn’t know the procedure for citizenship,” Melendez wrote to the Star. “He loved Toronto and he is actually very respected in Canada. He feels he can make a difference.”

There is too much that is too funny about that comment. Let’s read it again, shall we?

“He is serious about a run but as you know he doesn’t know the procedure for citizenship,” Melendez wrote. “He loved Toronto and he is actually very respected in Canada. He feels he can make a difference.”

Ahh, sweet mayoral delusion. I could get used to this.

Comments (57)

  1. He’s the mayor Toronto deserves, not the one it needs.

  2. How can Jose Canseco ever hope to fill the shoes of a convicted has-been with delusions of grandeur, a history of offering to score illegal pharmaceuticals over the phone, and a deadbeat brother riding his coattails

  3. Said some off-hand remarks very, very similar to this about Ottawa while he was hear when he heard about our woes trying to get a minor league team.

    Ill try my best to find any of it that was documented.

  4. As a resident of Burlington who only needs to drive into the city everyday for work – not actually live here – this would be the ultimate in spectator sport.

  5. Awesome…Ozzie Canseco….Surreal Life…too many possibilities

  6. Ozzie Guillen for councillor/deputy mayor. That would make council must-see TV.

  7. I wonder what his policy on safe injection sites in Toronto will be.

  8. Any additional news or information on Elliot’s Tweet re: status of Ashby?

    • Tried to see if there was any other announcements.
      Couldn’t find any.

      bob elliott ‏@elliottbaseball
      He gone @TJHannigan Hey Elloitt – any update on Ashby’s movements?

      Can’t believe Elliott would tweet back unless he knew something.

  9. I doubt he becomes mayor. He’ll take a leap for the mayor vacancy and have it bounce off his head.

  10. Jose vs Olivia Chow celebrity boxing. Winner appointed Mayor. Chow has a real shot, with her stiff upper lip

  11. “gotta fix budget, traffic, get new $ not from taxes, get more new businesses, and help schools”

    He seems to know a lot about our issues!

  12. I was just looking at his twitter account. Ive never seen a grown man use the word “hugs” after several tweets…well other than richard simmons.

  13. “Yes We Canseco” Not……. bad.

  14. Minutes before reading this, I would have said I’d rather not have another delusional idiot running this town, regardless of any hilarity that would ensue.

    But Jose Canseco, you say…? Hmm…I’m in.

  15. Conseco/Ozzie 2013…

  16. My favourite Jose Canseco memory… went to a game at the SkyDome between the A’s and Jays as a young lad with my dad, brother and best friend when Jose was in his prime with Oakland. About halfway through the game, we sneaked our way down to some really great seat just a few rows up from home plate. When Jose came to the on deck circle, many of the fans in our section tried to get his attention by screaming his name, and he was more than happy to oblige. He immediately looked up at us, smiled and we immediately took out our cameras. He then began to flex his muscles and pose in his stance for the camera. No other player would even flinch at us if we yelled his name, they were obviously focused on the game and preparing for their at bat. Jose was more than happy to show off his biceps, smile and pose for the flashbulbs, all while the game was going on. I’ll never forget it.

    • A d I’m sure Rob Ford would do the same. If you could see his muscles flexing under that pile of blubber.

      I always used to admire Jose from my excellent viewpoint behind home plate. He had such a lovely…batting stance.

      • Settle down Isabellareyes.

      • Hahaha… he was truly clueless… but loved the attention…. didn’t give a shit about anything but himself and the spotlight…. perfect mayor like qualities.

  17. Can only go up with fuck up ford still in office

  18. lol that is too funny…. Only in Toronto eh

  19. His platform seems pretty solid. I’d vote for him.

    • His platform is “I am going to make the place better without increasing your taxes”. Sounds like just about every politician ever.

  20. Maybe Roger Clemens will join the race too

  21. With Canseco having the intelligence of a mud flap, politics might be a realistic option. I actually follow him on Twitter just for that “Watching a car wreck” kind of curiosity.

  22. Canseco telling the truth about the roid users is telling the truth ONE more time than almost every politician I can remember

    • yeah, but there’s a difference between telling the ‘truth’ in order to profit through book sales, and telling a ‘truth’ and having a political career ended

    • Everybody loves to tell the truth when they have been caught.

  23. HEYO! Ill let u have the job if u can help me work off a few hundred pounds! who’s your trainer & HGH injector?

  24. Waiver Claims Can Wreck The Offseason For Players

    The amazing story of Mickey Storey

    By John Manuel
    January 4, 2013

    E-mail Print

    Mickey Storey was having a storybook 2012. He married longtime girlfriend Monique to start the year, and she gave birth to their second child, Durant (joining older daughter Deionce), in October, just after the season.

    The 26-year-old had a productive year, his first full one in the Astros system. Acquired in mid-2011 from the Athletics for future considerations, Storey returned to Triple-A Oklahoma City and struck out 72 in 65 innings, earning a his big league promotion in August. There, he rejoined interim manager Tony DeFrancesco, who’d managed him at Triple-A Sacramento with the A’s in 2009-10 and with Oklahoma City in ’11.

    With DeFrancesco’s trust, Storey pitched well, going 0-1, 3.86 with 34 strikeouts in 30 big league innings. His 10.09 strikeouts per nine innings ratio improved on his 9.37 K/9 mark in 290 minor league innings as a pro, numbers he’s proud of.

    “I was able to achieve my dream and make it to the major leagues, and pitched for more than two months and did well,” the righthander said from his home in West Palm Beach, Fla. “I pitched 95 innings between Triple-A and the big leagues, was durable, threw well and went into the offseason feeling good about it.

    “Since I was designated for assignment, I have to admit, it’s been the most mind-blowing experience.”

    Storey had changed teams when he was traded, but that was simple to explain. This offseason, he’s been designated for assignment four times, going from the Astros 40-man roster to the Yankees, back to the Astros and finally, on Dec. 19, to the Blue Jays.

    When the 2012 season ended, Storey was a big leaguer. Now he’s become an offseason punchline on the Internet and appears ticketed for a spot in the bullpen for Toronto’s new Triple-A Buffalo affiliate.

    “I could see the humor in it if I had a bad year,” Storey said, “but I didn’t. It was my best year. It’s left a bad taste in my mouth.”

    Rules & Procedures

    Storey’s offseason odyssey started Nov. 20, the date when major league clubs set their 40-man rosters prior to the Winter Meetings and the Rule 5 draft. The Astros added seven minor leaguers to the 40-man for the first time, including prospects such as righthanders Jarred Cosart, Jose Cisnero and Chia-Jen Lo and shortstop Jonathan Villar. That got them to 38, but then they made more room by dropping Storey and veteran Scott Moore from the roster.

    The Yankees claimed Storey off waivers, adding him to their 40-man, with general manager Brian Cashman calling Storey to explain the process.

    “He didn’t guarantee me anything,” Storey said. “He knew me, knew my stuff, said they had good reports on me and said I will have a chance to make the (big league 25-man) roster, but he also let me know there was a chance it could happen again.”

    And it did. The Yankees re-signed Mariano Rivera on Dec. 6 and needed to make room on the roster. The Astros then reclaimed Storey from New York, putting their roster at the 40-man maximum.

    According to Storey, the Astros indicated they would not expose him to waivers again, but they did just that on Dec. 19. This time, the Blue Jays claimed him, and when GM Alex Anthopoulos called, it was to tell Storey that he was a Blue Jay but also that he was immediately designated again, booted from the Jays’ crowded roster.

    “It’s been tough to explain to people, whether they know baseball or not,” Storey said. “I have relatives in New York who were really excited when the Yankees picked me up, and I had to explain to them when it happened. They don’t know the rules; heck, I just learned them myself.”

    Storey will have to take a pay cut, from the $490,000 MLB minimum on tap for the 2013 season, but says the money isn’t as big of a deal, because he’ll still make six figures in the minors. It’s tougher being off the 40-man for other reasons, such as the lack of insurance coverage.

    He’s certainly not alone. Just on Jan. 3, the Rangers DFA’d catcher Eli Whiteside, the fourth time that’s happened to Whiteside this offseason, matching the this year’s high of righthander Sandy Rosario (now with the Giants). Outfielder Scott Cousins, now with the Angels, joins Storey in having been claimed three times this offseason. Sorey likely speaks for all of them when he says the competitiveness of wanting to be a big leaguer has made all the roster shuffling so difficult.

    “I’ve been talking to (Astros pitcher) Bud Norris, who’s going through arbitration, about the business side of things,” Storey said. “He was telling me how he wants to prove he can win as a major league starter. I just laughed and said I want to contribute to a team that wins. That’s all. I’d take minor league money to play in the major leagues.”

    Margin For Error

    Storey figures he’s been deemed expendable for much the same lack of velocity that made him a 31st-round pick in 2008 out of Florida Atlantic, where he ranks second in program history in wins and strikeouts. He’s never been a hard thrower, sitting in the 88-90 mph range, but he locates his fastball and relies heavily on his cutter and plus curveball, which has led to his high strikeout rates.

    “There are a lot of guys throwing 95-100 out there who get a lot of leeway,” he said. “I always thought the point was to get outs, not to throw hard.”

    Storey will have to keep having success with his breaking ball to earn a spot in Toronto’s bullpen. Otherwise, he’ll shuffle off to Buffalo despite last year’s success, a victim of baseball’s 40-man rules and procedures.

    “When I came home after the season, I just couldn’t wait to get to spring training,” he said. “Now I’m not sure what I’m walking into.”

  25. pour little Robby.. Ull never loose a couple hundred pounds unless u remove your head, i keep telling u…punding cheese burgers down ull gullet has nothing to do with it!

  26. Another reason to head west!

  27. “Time is of hour glass so is our days of the lives” – Jose Canseco/December 5th, 2012/Twitter

  28. He’ll need 3 years of residency within the past 4 years or he’ll need to marry someone to get that citizenship — this is not something that takes a long time to figure out. Something tells me he’s not running for mayor anytime soon.

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