I have nothing close to an idea what the hell this even means, and anyone who has been reading here for a while knows that I’m not exactly the first person you’d think would be standing up for the honour of Cito Gaston, but I have a hard time wondering just what the fuck Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy was getting at when, in the course of calling the Houston Texans useless and a pitiful opponent who’ll be decimated by the New England Patriots on the weekend, he pulled this out of his tattered, old, mothball-filled bag of tricks:
On Saturday, the Texans staggered to a 6-point win against a team that hasn’t won a playoff game in 22 years. It was one of the ugliest games in NFL playoff history. Playing in the image of Marvin Lewis — the Cito Gaston of football — Cincinnati’s offense managed two field goals.
Uh… can someone fill me in here? Has Marvin Lewis ever coached a team to a championship? Did he get fired by the Bengals at some point and then come back? Does he have a reputation for not making substitutions? Stealing signals?
Is he supposedly still coasting on being the Ravens’ defensive coordinator in 2000? Is that it???
Is it even a shot at Gaston? Is it praise? I have no idea!!!
I mean, I know we’re kinda supposed to just be polite and let the elderly drift off into the sunset, avoiding upsetting them too much by pointing out their “quaint” foibles like ball-hammeringly confusing statements and/or casual racism, but… the fuck?
Seriously, please fill me in if you actually comprehend this!