bisons logo WHITE

The Game In A (Non Run-On) Sentence

The Jays opened up their spring schedule with a victory in Lakeland over the Tigers, with our scrubs eventually overcoming their scrubs, and most of the action– if you really want to call it that– coming long after the big leaguers had hit the showers.


The Good

Baseball is back. Sort of. I mean… OK, the game got tedious at the end, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could start furiously start Googling Michael Schwimer– a 6’8 right-handed reliever who the Jays traded for mid-contest– but it was baseball. In the sun. On my TV. It was terrific. Beyond that, though, while I’d love to get all aglow about the particulars of this big win, with apologies to Lance Zawadski and Ryan Goins, home runs off the likes of Ryan Robowski and Melvin Mercedes just don’t impress me terribly. 

Also: Brett Lawrie’s gleaming white chompers.


The Bad

Brandon Morrow just didn’t look himself in his one inning of work, which… is to be completely expected at this stage. He said himself on the TV broadcast that he was sort of in between speeds, wanting to work on things (he told reporters afterwards that he isn’t using his slider just yet, which he considers to be his best pitch), but also wanting to be a little bit jacked up, and his rhythm on the mound paid the price. Rather, it paid the Prince, if you will [note: I won't], as it was one-time Jays fan mancrush Fielder who blasted a two-run…. er… blast in the middle of a rough first inning of the spring for last year’s ace. Oh well.

And of course, sometimes you eat the Delabar, sometimes the Delabar eats you. Miguel Cabrera tagged everybody’s favourite reliever pretty staggeringly good.


The Ugly

Moises Sierra did new manager John Gibbons a solid, showing him firsthand the kind of infuriating mental error that he’s capable of on the base paths, by getting himself thrown out by Austin Jackson while trying to go first to third on an Anthony Gose single, just before Adam Lind crossed the plate, negating the run. Ugh.

And there was even more ugliness later, as Mike McCoy wound up limping off the field late in the game after crashing into right fielder Ryan Langerhans in a dead sprint while trying to make a play on a ball. Langerhans made the catch and went down as well, but it was McCoy who bore the brunt of the collision, exiting the game with a leg contusion. So… it sounds like he’ll be fine, and these things tend to happen sometimes with outfielders who are unfamiliar with each other, but it was still a clusterfuck of a play, and could have been a lot worse for a player the Jays will be hoping not to count on too badly, but who gives them a nice bit of depth to stash at Buffalo.

And if you really want to make a big deal about it, there was also this:

Maybe a bit early in the year for a bat flip like that, but… whatever.


The Additional Thoughts

So this is how I think I’m going to recap games this year– y’know, by aping Parkes’s old thing that he aped from Chris Zelkovich’s old Toronto Star column, which he aped from Sergio Leone. Which isn’t to say I’m going to be doing this for every game, and certainly not every Grapefruit League game, but I get the feeling that this year there will be a much lower percentage than ever before of games we’re going to want to forget ever fucking even happened the second that the last out is recorded. Call it a hunch. And this format seems as good a way as any to hit all the contest’s key talking points while not wasting hours of my fucking life writing a damn pointless game story for something everyone just watched and/or can go see the highlights of in a matter of seconds. Shit, I can even be lazy and just squeeze a version of this into the next day’s Game Threat. So… yeah. We’ll see if it lasts, or how much the format changes, but that’s the plan for now. Suggestions welcome! And of course, there will always be room for the Zubes’ own aping of USS Mariners’ Post Game Graph posts, whenever his schedule permits.


Image via WNY Watercooler, Fielder GIF via Baseball Prospectus.

Comments (30)

  1. On behalf of everyone in the Nederland: FUCK YOU STOETEN

  2. Think it would be a good way to recap the regular season games. Hopefully the Jays injury curse isn’t following them into 2013. Jeff Mathis got hurt today as well. Maybe he’s still tainted from last year’s team.

  3. So much Saturday writing for Andy this week!

  4. Recaps are good for the fact we need a new piece of paper to scribble on after the game. Other than that, how they are recapped doesn’t matter that much.

    • Good point. Y’know, for the small fraction of readers who inhabit the comments section. ;)

      • Good to know that we’re still un(der)appreciated.

        Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose.

        As a matter of curiosity, why did you venture to Fla. to watch the game on your TV? (Not that it wasn’t terrific to watch baseball/in the sun/on my TV/on the other coast.)

        • I’m not in that part of the state, besides, Spring Training gets old real fast. I’ll head across the state to check out a game or maybe two while I’m here, but I couldn’t stomach too much of it all.

          • Gird your loins, lie back, and think of England, or the Netherlands, or maybe even The DJF Monkey Army. Do it for us, Stoeten.

    • Is this a poll question? I liked the recap and the complimentary GIF, but it could mean lots of work for Stoeten, especially on those west coast games where one might not even remember the night before, let alone the game.

  5. That bat flip was ridiculous, and I love it. I think the fact that it was an overhanded chop made it so much more special.

    • Ridiculous is the perfect word to describe that. And I also love it! It made me actually LOLFR

    • It would have been cooler had it been in something like I don’t know the WORLD SERIES. Maybe that was the plan but he had to wait until now to do it.

  6. Excited to see the new players plus Jose tomorroow

  7. Don’t know a thing about Michael Schwimer.
    What I love most about the trades AA makes, next to the trade itself, is the reaction of blogs for fans of the team AA trades with.
    As usual, Philly fans are going nuts that Ruben traded a RP with experience for a guy who’ll probably never reach AAA and who Jays fans have never heard of before.

    Gotta love AA.

  8. No shit about Lawries teeth, he was sarcasticly raving about his babysitter Derosa and I found myself staring at his chicklets like an eclipse. Now wherever I look I got a burn spot in my retinas.

    • Was he really getting sarcastic with the Derosa deal?

      What a twit. It will be an interesting season to say the least on the Lawrie front. Sweet grill.

  9. Oh god, please burn that logo…

  10. It was a bit surreal seeing Dave Bush out there.

  11. I have to find a way to illegally watch spring training everyday!

  12. Don’t care about Morrow’s outing. Will care if its still like that in 3wk

    We all know Sierra is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
    Boneheaded play by him is hardly shocking.

    What topped my “Bad” list was Lind cruising in to home plate.
    If he hustles, his run counts in spite of Sierra’s idiocy.

    The run is neither here nor there.
    But Lind’s laxadasial approach IS a big deal.
    We’ve seen far too much of that from him.
    Hope Gibby crapped all over him

  13. That jack was smash, smash, SSMAHASSSHED.

    That ball landed in Cletus Hunsickers grand-daddy’s lap while he was sittin in da shade.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *