The Game In A (Non Run-On) Sentence
The Jays opened up their spring schedule with a victory in Lakeland over the Tigers, with our scrubs eventually overcoming their scrubs, and most of the action– if you really want to call it that– coming long after the big leaguers had hit the showers.
Baseball is back. Sort of. I mean… OK, the game got tedious at the end, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could start furiously start Googling Michael Schwimer– a 6’8 right-handed reliever who the Jays traded for mid-contest– but it was baseball. In the sun. On my TV. It was terrific. Beyond that, though, while I’d love to get all aglow about the particulars of this big win, with apologies to Lance Zawadski and Ryan Goins, home runs off the likes of Ryan Robowski and Melvin Mercedes just don’t impress me terribly.
Also: Brett Lawrie’s gleaming white chompers.
Brandon Morrow just didn’t look himself in his one inning of work, which… is to be completely expected at this stage. He said himself on the TV broadcast that he was sort of in between speeds, wanting to work on things (he told reporters afterwards that he isn’t using his slider just yet, which he considers to be his best pitch), but also wanting to be a little bit jacked up, and his rhythm on the mound paid the price. Rather, it paid the Prince, if you will [note: I won't], as it was one-time Jays fan mancrush Fielder who blasted a two-run…. er… blast in the middle of a rough first inning of the spring for last year’s ace. Oh well.
And of course, sometimes you eat the Delabar, sometimes the Delabar eats you. Miguel Cabrera tagged everybody’s favourite reliever pretty staggeringly good.
Moises Sierra did new manager John Gibbons a solid, showing him firsthand the kind of infuriating mental error that he’s capable of on the base paths, by getting himself thrown out by Austin Jackson while trying to go first to third on an Anthony Gose single, just before Adam Lind crossed the plate, negating the run. Ugh.
And there was even more ugliness later, as Mike McCoy wound up limping off the field late in the game after crashing into right fielder Ryan Langerhans in a dead sprint while trying to make a play on a ball. Langerhans made the catch and went down as well, but it was McCoy who bore the brunt of the collision, exiting the game with a leg contusion. So… it sounds like he’ll be fine, and these things tend to happen sometimes with outfielders who are unfamiliar with each other, but it was still a clusterfuck of a play, and could have been a lot worse for a player the Jays will be hoping not to count on too badly, but who gives them a nice bit of depth to stash at Buffalo.
And if you really want to make a big deal about it, there was also this:
Maybe a bit early in the year for a bat flip like that, but… whatever.
The Additional Thoughts
So this is how I think I’m going to recap games this year– y’know, by aping Parkes’s old thing that he aped from Chris Zelkovich’s old Toronto Star column, which he aped from Sergio Leone. Which isn’t to say I’m going to be doing this for every game, and certainly not every Grapefruit League game, but I get the feeling that this year there will be a much lower percentage than ever before of games we’re going to want to forget ever fucking even happened the second that the last out is recorded. Call it a hunch. And this format seems as good a way as any to hit all the contest’s key talking points while not wasting hours of my fucking life writing a damn pointless game story for something everyone just watched and/or can go see the highlights of in a matter of seconds. Shit, I can even be lazy and just squeeze a version of this into the next day’s Game Threat. So… yeah. We’ll see if it lasts, or how much the format changes, but that’s the plan for now. Suggestions welcome! And of course, there will always be room for the Zubes’ own aping of USS Mariners’ Post Game Graph posts, whenever his schedule permits.