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New York Yankees v Toronto Blue Jays

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [deep breath] HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

Oh fuck, that’s awesome.

And while I fully understand, a billion OrioLOLes later, that maybe tempting the Baseball Gods into arranging some kind of karmic payback for our giddy Schadenfreude is not the smartest idea here, um… sorry? Because the battered Evil Empire being so desperate as to add an ex-Jay who has been worth 1.1 WAR over the last two seasons combined, while working out a way to pay as little of the $42-million (note: FORTY-TWO MILLION!!!) he’s still owed under the terms of the deal signed by J.P. Ricciardi and Paul Godfrey– and, according to Jeff Passan, very possibly receiving an amount from the Angels that is “is not nearly as significant as one might think”– is more than a little bit deliciously rich. And hilarious.

And also, kinda terrifying, just because he’s exactly the kind of guy who might magically somehow “find it” in pinstripes– no thanks to all my chortling. It would be kinda fun, though– not to mention nice, in an odd way, to see a guy who was so badly and undeservedly maligned for the club’s massive error get another chance to play more regularly, rather than rot on the bench as Anaheim’s fifth outfielder. For what it’s worth, Buster Olney tweets that Wells “is said by a teammate to be excited about the possibility of a trade to the Yankees.”

Darren has the rest of the details over at Getting Blanked.

Jon Heyman now has this:

And there’s also this…

Comments (114)

  1. I still don’t know how AA fooled the Anaheim gm into that trade

  2. “@matthewcoller: If Vernon Wells goes to the Yankees, I imagine the NYY stat dept. doing something like the Office Space printer scene on their computers”

  3. The Yankees? Vernon Wells? They do have a type I suppose.

  4. Is he even an upgrade on a Boesch/Francisco platoon?

  5. Vernon LOLls. Does either team look like a winner if the Angels eat a tonne of cash?

    • I think so. Any cash the Angels don’t have to eat is cash they would have had to pay him to be dead weight anyway, and the Yankees, as bad as he’s been, could definitely use him.

      • All comes down to how much cash they still need to pay on his salary. Especially if their goal is to get under the threshold next year.

        Regardless of what it costs them, the difference in talent of what Wells costs now versus someone else at the same cost two months ago will likely be delicious.

      • There is no way that the Yankees “could definitely use him” unless by that you mean the Yankees “could definitely use” any triple A quality outfielder. Spending this much money on such little talent is absurd when they could have spent the same money in the free agent market and received better value.

  6. This doesn’t surprise me as much as it should. Yanks need a right-handed regular and wells has had a good spring.

  7. It’s finally happened where the Yankees aren’t good

  8. think i may have broke the news to ole stotes on twitter

    #vigilante

  9. Should jays fans still boo him?

    • jays fans should never have booed vernon wells.. he was overpaid, but that’s not his fault. he was always a stand up guy, just couldn’t live up to his contract.

      • +1. I can’t begrudge Wells from accepting the money. I would have & all MLB players would accept that contract.

        I think Wells can help the yankees but I wonder why they are willing to spend even half of $42 million owed to Wells over the next 2 years?

        This year will probably be the first sub 500 year for the yankees since 1992.

        Why bother spending that money to get a couple more wins with Vernon in the lineup on a regular basis?

        • The Yankees are paying $13 million of Wells’ contract

        • I can begrudge him, for sure. The amount of money paid to/accepted by a professional shouldn’t ever be a measuring stick for ones success. The professional’s pedigree should, and Vernon was really good at playing baseball his whole life except for the last three years he was with us until now. Kudos to his agent for brokering such a bloated deal, also to Vernon for fooling us into believing he would be good until he retired. He fits with the Stankees, hope he “sprains” his wrist again, or his ankle again, or his back again, or his whatever again…

        • But here’s the million dollar question and I’m serious.

          Perhaps he should have taken less cake. Thus less pressure, less questions, and he’s still doing fine with the ledger. Maybe there is a sweet spot for fringe players on not taking too much. Then if you shit, you don’t die a slow death . Like get buried in the minors like Wade Redden?

    • I don’t remember him being booed after he came back. He got a standing O his first return, and promptly put the ball into the second deck.

      Also, I like Vernon Wells. If it’s possible for him to go to NY and have a last renaissance while the Yankees still finish fourth in the East, I’m in favour of that.

    • The guy was a total class act in this city. He was one of the most active Jays as far as the community and kids and all that crap.

      I would never boo him – even as a Yankee.

  10. Sherman saying he expects $8 million is what the Yanks will pay. Those guys are on a razor thin margin in order to be under the $189 in 2014 already. They cant afford to pay $4 million for below replacement level production

  11. It’s the Yankees… he’ll have a dead cat bounce and hit .300 with a couple walk-off homers playing part-time. That’s just how it works.

  12. Yanks opening day lineup?

    CF – Brett Gardner
    RF – Ichiro Suzuki
    2B – Robinson Cano
    3B – Kevin Youkilis
    DH – Travis Hafner
    1B – Juan Rivera
    LF – Vernon Wells
    SS – Eduardo Nunez
    C – Chris Stewart

    hahahahaha!

  13. My Day = Made

    If anyone throws a strike to Cano with RISP I’ll be shocked…

    • No shit. Let’s put him in the predicted top 10 in Base on Balls this year. Wow.

      Maybe it’s time to blow up the team for Darth Vadar and the death star?

      Sorry, but I’m kinda liking this. Is that okay?

  14. Too many jokes. Joke overload. Oh man this is fantastic.

  15. But the Yankees have a history of taking chicken shit and turning it into chicken cordon bleu.
    The Yankees and the Sox are like Dracula – you have to drag them out into sunlight, chain ‘em down, stake ‘em through the heart, cut their heads off, burn the remains and scatter their ashes over the seven continents in order to truly kill them.

    • Well, the NYY anyway. I can’t believe how many times they’ve picked up players that were has-beens, or never-weres, and then they get key contributions from them.

      • lots of teams do that too. They also have rheir share of busts.

        Giys like Pavano and Burnett were good before rhe Yanks, bad with, and good again after leaving.

        There is nothing “magical” about the Yanks and there is no formula for turning old has beens into good players again, if only for a year. It is random and happens when it happens.

        It just seems like the Yanks do it more then anyone because of all the exposure given to Yankees in general, and because their teams arw in playoff contention (and thus, the news) every year.

  16. It’s rock bottom for the Evil Empire, they better have one fuck of a minor league system cause this could be a long rough run.

    Hells Bells, it’s Vernon Wells.

  17. Too many Fuckwads shit on Vern. Go ahead blame him for being paid too much. Ask yourself this though, if the boss of the company (that you worked for at below market value for about 7 years) one day offers you more than you are worth to the company, are you going to say no, pay me what I’m worth

    • Forget about the contract. Wells has been hilariously awful for years.

      • Hilariously shitty
        Good guy, but hilariously shitty.

      • He averaged around 4 WAR per 162 games from 2003-2010. He spent four years as a plus defender, was a far above average hitter for a CFer for longer.

        The contract distorts the fact that he spent a short time in the upper levels of MLB players and the better part of a decade as a very good major leaguer.

        • Don’t ever quote WAR to me again please. WAR is like a unicorn running past me on the road.

          • I know, math is hard.

            • Wins Above Replacement? So to compare how many wins a player gives a team, against his replacement in Triple A or elsewhere. How the fuck to you quatify that to a player. Really.

              • Are you for real? Again, math is hard, it’s alright. You’ll figure it out.

                More importantly, did you watch baseball between 2003-2006? Because it would be hard to have done so and not realize how good Vernon Wells was.

                • “Wins Above Replacement or Wins Above Replacement Player, commonly known as WAR or WARP, is a non-standardized sabermetric baseball statistic that claims to show how many more wins a player would give a team as opposed to a “replacement level”, or minor league/bench player at that position. The idea behind the WAR framework is that it is desirable to know how much better a player is than what a team would typically have to replace that player.”

                  Dont use the math card, thats a dumb rebuttle. This is a stupid stat, Ive always thought so, and always will based on whats stated above.

                  Yes, Vernon was really good for 4 years. But he was never clutch. Show me his career batting average with runners in scoring position, Id love to see that. Dial up some of your math skills for me.

                  • For his career, Wells average, obp, and ops in high leverage situations than any other game state

                  • Stop trolling for fuck sakes, Gruber.

                    • For fuck sakes Stoeten, Justin was the goading Gruber with his “math is hard” condescending bullshit.
                      WAR’s a decent stat but it’s not perfect.
                      Even fangraphs says it should be used in conjunction with other stats in player evaluation.
                      As for the “math is hard” shit, it’s an incredibly hard stat to calculate, which is why we let FG and BR do the calculations.
                      Why don’t you get on Justin’s ass and get him to explain the formula for WAR?
                      Let’s see how good he is at math.He’s an expert.

                    • Thanks for watching a brothers mullet Radar.

                      I don’t troll for shit storms everyone. I speak my mind, right or wrong and have always don’t that.

                      As for WAR, I think it should be talked about at Trekkie conventions, that’s about it.

    • Can’t blame him for taking the contract. Can’t even blame the Jays for giving him the deal at that time. Remember, it would have looked worse on the Jays if he had walked for nothing, and if it wasn’t the Jays then somebody was going to give him this deal, and someone else might be stuck with it.

      Having said that, it’s a fucking miracle AA got out of it. Vernon’s nothing but class, by all accounts he’s a good person, but he’s finished as a ball player. Which is why this is so fucking awesome.

      • I completely agree with everything you say. Wells was a nice guy and a good player. Then he wasn’t a good player. But he was always a nice guy. Maybe now the contract has been moved twice and no one has any expectations, he’ll do OK. Long as the Yanks finish below us I’m good with Vernon having a nice year.

    • I’m glad Wells got his money, glad it’s not us paying it to him so we can have Dickey and Johnson and Buehrle and Reyes and co instead. doesn’t mean he hasn’t been hilariously terrible the past couple seasons.

  18. In other news, Baseball Info Solutions has Lawrie projected as the 2nd best defensive player in all of baseball (regardless of position) in 2013 behind only Andrelton Simmons. Apparently Lawrie is the best defender in baseball at fielding “straight-on balls”.

    http://insider.espn.go.com/mlb/preview13/story/_/id/9091506/atlanta-braves-shortstop-andrelton-simmons-projects-best-defensive-player-baseball-2013-mlb

    • Pretty cool article, I always thought he was above average at third, didn’t realize he was the best.

    • That’s the ones that aren’t over a rail, into the camera bay, etc. right?

  19. I take it there was no one younger, cheaper and equally disappointing as Vernon Wells available on the free agent market? There was no one both younger and cheaper than Wells and capable of providing the same level of production in the Yankees’ minor league system or in the minor league system of another team?

    Watch him rejuvenate his career hitting in homer-friendly Yankee Stadium….

  20. Well the Yankees turned around Raul Mondesi back in the day so Vernon will probably do the same.

    • Not unless every pitcher in the American league has forgotten how to throw a curveball low and away.

  21. Vernon will hit 30 homers at Yankee stadium given 150+ starts. The question is whether his OPS will be .650 or .850

  22. isn’t he retiring at the end of this season?

    • next

    • well isn’t he owed $40 Million over the next two? I imagine that if he is able to turn his game around a little he might even sign a cheap contract after this one, maybe as a bench bat ona national league contender or something. that is assuming he isn’t hitting .220 or whatever again

  23. Also would like to mention the NY media will eat him alive if he struggles (likely). Wells always struck me as the type of player that would fold like a cheap suit when the pressure was ratcheted up. Doubt NY is a good fit for him.

    • That’s a good point. Wells struggled in 2009 which was the year he & Rios were supposed to help the team into the playoffs after a 27-14 start. Cito insisted on batting them 3 & 4 & it failed.

    • You are right. Vern better have a psychologist on speed dial.

      Then again, he has always seemed to hit well in Da Bronx yo.

      But I still think you are right, if he thought he felt pressure in Toronto, Dorothy ain’t bussing tables in Wichita no more.

  24. If the angels ate 90% would you do the deal for the jays?

  25. Yanks are managing better than the Jays right now. They sign Wells because they have few if any options. They hope for lightening in a bottle. The Jays will choose Rickey as their 5th, when Happ has clearly outperformed RR. Jays will loose games early on for no other reason then stupidity

    • Learn to spell lose, loser.

      • Fuck sons, you call attention to one spelling mistake and miss two others?
        That’s a tad shabby, sport.

        Furthermore, you’ve been posting on site long enough to have discovered that mis-spelled words are kind of ‘dawg’s thing, his signature, his raison d’etre.

        Please elevate your own game, son.
        Thanks in advance.

    • Don’t think Happ has outperformed as much as you think. Look at the lineups he’s faced. A lot easier to throw strikes to a lot of those batters. Plus, Ricky’s been working on mechanics, just like Morrow.

  26. The AL East just got even weaker.

  27. Someone help me on the salary issue. Irrespective if LA pay 32 of his 42 mil or whatever,
    His contract is being transferred to the NYY and they will pay his cheque thru their payroll system. So, folks, for luxury tax purposes, does anyone know if NYY have to put the entire 22m per year on their team payroll?
    I just can’t see tehm doing it if theare totally responsible for it, but does anyone know the official rules? Now let me get back to my merlot as I am “Out here in the fields”..feels fukin good, Go jays.
    PS. NYY want VDUB??? For FUK -he became a FUKSTIK in 2009 and he is still playing-sheesh there is hope still, for Joe Schlobotnik

    • This is just me half making this up, but I think the Angels will literally continue to pay their portion of the salary for the duration of the contract.

  28. This is possibly the best think JP did for the Jays in an oblique kind of way. I find it hilarious that he’s with the crosstown rival while the Yanks eat the scraps of Vdub’s shitty contract.

  29. Buster LOLney tweet: “Take it for what it’s worth: Talked to two scouts who thought Vernon Wells looked better in spring training, with a quicker bat.”

    I have been laughing on and off for the past 3 hrs thinking about this…

    THE BEST (Besides Dickey, Reyes, Joey Bats, Chicken Wing and Crazy Brett.”

    • In fairness, he did say “Take it for what it’s worth,” which means it’s worth shit. But leave it to LOLney to post redundant crap on the interwebs.

  30. In the spirit of pure speculation, this deal only makes sense for the Yankees because they need someone for the fans to shit on instead of their overpaid and over-the-hump stars like Tex, Jeter co (and yes, that group includes A-Fraud).

    I almost feel sorry for the guy. But 42 million isn’t too high of a price to pay to keep one’s mouth shut at work now is it?

  31. According to ESPN / Buster Trolney the Yankees will eat $13 million of the $42 million remaining.. LOL

    http://espn.go.com/new-york/mlb/story/_/id/9092881/new-york-yankees-acquire-vernon-wells-los-angeles-angels-sources-say

    My initial guess is that they would eat league min maybe a million a year. Awesome.

    Wells might be the first Yankee I don’t hate though. I’ve always wanted him to have a resurgence but now.. not so much.

  32. I always wanted Wells to get good again though… sorta bummed he’s in the AL East now and I have to root for his failure.

  33. Wow the yankees could be a total trainwreck this year. a very enjoyable one to watch at that

  34. Gibby will know the Jays just have to pitch him down and away – but I still think Vernon will hit a decent amount of homeruns at home.

  35. Type “VERNON WELLS IS” into Google Chrome and see what comes up. Priceless.

  36. If Vernon Wells were a free agent, he’d be worthy of a minor league contract and spring invite. Certainly not much more than that.

    Why the Yankees are willing to pay him $13 million over the next two years is incomprehensible.

  37. Somehow Youklis, Hafner or Wells is going to have a resurgent year, just because it’s the fucking Yankees.

    • We’ll just have to whistle past the graveyard, but I take your point. Maybe this year, however, the emperor actually has no clothes.

      Wouldn’t that be a treat?

  38. I sure hope Jeffress is heading North with the team. I couldn’t care if Cecil is out, I would rather see someone else get a shot unless they want him and send Loup down.

  39. Well the karma for laughing at the Yankees didn’t take long to kick in. JPA and Blanco both going to catch Dickey. JPA going on opening day

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