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I love this team, but I hate this ad campaign.

For the first time in two years, the Blue Jays marketing team has produced a set of Opening Day (Week) commercials that make you roll your eyes more than make you excited for the season to come.

It’s not hard to get Blue Jays fans excited for the season. Formula: show the Jays defrosting at Spring Training after the hellish Canadian winter, mix with player close ups on a soundstage and highlights from the past season. Overlay a song with the word “home” in it. Done and done. But this new team needed something better, didn’t it?

Embracing Twitter as part of a team’s marketing strategy is smart; making it the focus of an entire ad campaign is cheesy and narrow. Tweeting Tuesdays? Fine. Twitter Shirseys? Ugh. A hashtag as the team’s central slogan?  The Blue Jays social media consultant is either insanely persuasive or Nadir Mohamed’s niece.

You’re better than this, Blue Jays. And if you’re not, you’re smarter than this. The Blue Jays official Twitter account has 234,603 followers. Their Facebook page has double that many in likes, and the fans on Facebook are much more active in sharing, liking and commenting on posts than what’s happening on Twitter. However, when you search #lovethisteam, which is the whole point of a hashtag slogan, in Facebook, it leads you to a Spanish clothing line.

I’m not saying the Jays should have created their ad campaign around Facebook, I’m saying they shouldn’t make their ad campaign so centrally focused on the limited scope of a single social media tool. I’m also saying putting a hashtag slogan in lights is as lame as it gets, and no one with any kind of sense of awareness wants to be tweeting what you’re telling them to tweet.

It gets worse. When the Jays pulled off the unthinkable and traded for the NL Cy Young winner, the soon to be GBOAT and other high-priced talent, they immediately became a favourite to win a championship. So lets put all these new superstars on a stage with the other Jays stars. We’ll put them in lights and they can fist pump and #loviste while a crowd goes nuts cheering their new team on.

Sound familiar?

Bosh, Wade and James greet guests at NBA basketball team Miami Heat's 'HEAT Summer of 2010 Welcome Event' in Miami

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Miami Heat Introduce LeBron James, Chris Bosh And Dwyane Wade

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That looks way too much like the most disliked pop-culture moments in sports in the last 5 years for my liking. Unintentional, maybe. But that is being awfully generous to advertisers who mull over every detail and would hold a focus group to test the Q rating of the breed of a family’s dog in an ad.

Then there’s this mess.

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Because Sportsnet is branding themselves hand-in-hand with the Jays (smart) we get to see these same ads featuring reporters. I love Shi Davidi as much as anyone, but why the hell is he showing off his two-seamer on a stage with fans cheering him on? Ain’t nobody cheering for the beat reporters! Imagine if at the Miami Heat Welcome Home Party they had Le Betard come on stage with Bosh/Wade/James to spin a ball on his finger.

So here were are. An ad campaign with a hashtag slogan, a nod to the Miami Heat and the Blue Jays superstars being put on the same level as the team commenting on them.

But anyone can tear something down, do I have anything better? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.

So we agree, this team deserves something better than the “home” commercials. And it has to be an ad that gets the slow-minded, mainstream fans excited about the upcoming year. Oh, I got just the thing…

The New TV Spot

The commercial starts in a cockpit of an airplane. The pilot reaches for the radio. The camera does a 180 turn and we see the inside of the Blue Jays private plane.

We move slowly up the aisle. To the left we see Joe Carter sitting in between Arencibia and Cabrera with Raja Davis and Mark DeRosa hanging over the seats behind them. They’re watching a TV, we don’t see what they’re watching, but we hear Tom Cheek’s voice, “He’s 0 for 3, with a sac-fly. So noooow the spotlights on Joe…”

Our view, continuously moving up the aisle, pans to the right and we see Tony Fernadez, Jose Reyes, Emilio Bonifcacio and Robbie Alomar playing cards and talking in spanish. Jose Reyes is smiling.

We pan back left as we continue forward and see Kelly Gruber talking to Brett Lawrie. We don’t hear what Kelly says but we see his lips move and it looks like he MAY have said, “I f**king tagged him…” as Lawrie nods and takes a sip of his Red Bull.

We look to the right and we see John Olerud with his arm around Adam Lind as Adam rests his head on John’s shoulder. Olerud is reading Lind excerpts from Shawn Green’s book, The Way of Baseball.

Forward and to the left it’s Devon White. It looks as though he’s teaching Rasmus and Gose how to catch lazy fly balls at their chests like mother effin’ GANGSTERS!

To the right Ricky Romero is sitting with Dave Stieb and R.A. Dickey. Stieb is telling Ricky to chill the hell out. In the far right of the screen… Is it? That might be Juan Guzman. Hardcore Blue Jay fans will debate this sighting for years to come.

And finally, in the back of the plane, it’s King Carlos, George Bell, Jose Bautista and Eddie sharing a big laugh over what it’s like to smash baseballs and crush dreams.

Fade to black.

Fade in from black.

The plane has landed and the 2013 Blue Jays are boarding a bus on the runway. In the background you can see the past Jays greats standing together, watching these current Jays board their bus headed for the Rogers Centre. Fade to black.

The teams slogan, written in the TORONTO BLUE JAYS script, appears on screen:

2013.

Fin.

The Sportsnet Crew’s Version

Shows clips on the plane as written above. Fade in on the Jays getting off the plane. Who’s there to greet them? The Sportsnet Crew. Show shots of the crew interviewing players: Jamie Campbell is talking grit with DeRosa, Hayhurst is getting Dickey to autograph his book, and there’s the Tao of Stieb with his face blurred out. You can audibly hear him weeping as Dave Stieb shakes his hand.

Director’s Cut

Same stuff as before, but as the Jays bus pulls away the camera zooms in on the back of the plane. There we see Andy Stoeten, Drew Fairservice and Dustin Parkes crawling out of the cargo hold. Stoeten stands up, pulls out a bottle of whiskey, and slams it. Parkes’ suit looks crisp. You can hardly tell he was sharing a kennel with one of Burhle’s dogs.

 

Thanks to Dave Burrows for the post. I repeat, this is a guest post.

Comments (124)

  1. It worked out pretty well for the Heat in the end.

    • They didn’t win right away, but they won the very next year and damn do they look like they’re going to do it again this year.

    • Careful BFF, the more zealous DJF readers will see that post and take you completely seriously and assume you’re implying an actual correlation. Then they’ll call you nasty names and question your intelligence and sexual orientation.

    • yeah one of my teachers said that the heat are afraid of the competition, thats why they went out and stacked up

    • It may have worked out but they became the leagues favorite team to hate by fans. I doubt the blue jays brass wants that.

  2. Yup.

  3. Fantastic.

  4. Step 1: Steal Miami’s good baseball players.

    Step 2: Steal Miami’s ad campaign.

    Step 3: Lose in World series this year. Win it next year.

  5. The commercial also includes J.P. Arencibia suggesting that Sportsnet will be the home to “every tweet.” Somehow, I don’t think that’s happening.

  6. so…we’re going to lose the world series this year and win it next year?

  7. Yes please.

  8. Perfect.

  9. Advertising is what needs to be done to get the casual fans interested in coming to games beyond opening night. I’m all for whatever the team needs to do in order to justify the spending they’re doing (and to keep spending it down the road).

    The people that keep an eye on DJF are probably the same ones that went to a bunch of games last year and the year before (and the year before). These ads aren’t meant to get us pumped because we already are.

    It’s marketing. It’s what businesses do to boost numbers. Don’t stress it.

    • *WOOSH*

      (That was the sound of this post going over your head, FYI.)

      • WHISH – the sound of the hipster beard as he disagrees

      • *SLAP!*

        (That’s the sound of the back of my hand meeting your proverbial face, FYI)

        As an actual person that works IN marketing, I can tell you that online-based campaigns are aimed at getting people “25 and under” engaged in your product. That’s the objective. So, while jaded old dudes like myself (and you, I’m assuming) are sitting here wishing we didn’t have to wait 20 years before having a potentially-contending team, there’s a whole new market of people that didn’t experience Joe’s home run, that don’t remember Gruber’s mullet and that have no recollection of Roberto Alomar spitting in an ump’s face.

        The Jays, as a fairly smart organization, are focusing on the next generation of fans. The ones that couldn’t care less about Skydome vs. Rogers Centre. The ones that wouldn’t understand who these old dudes are that are sitting in a private plane with the Jays. The ones that would deem your marketing pitch a complete and utter failure.

        See you at the park, gents.

        • *ZING*

        • *BURP*

        • Be that as it may about the joke-ish script for an ad, what of the first part of the post, were Dave exactly discusses engaging that audience, but in a smarter way? You know, the part where this is going over your head.

          • Oh! The part where he mentions looking for the #LoveThisTeam hashtag on Facebook? Anyone that’s been paying attention to marketing trends understands that hashtags work on multiple platforms (Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest) but have zero use on Facebook (although they’re working on it).

            Marketing trends show younger demographics moving away from Facebook in favor of shorter engagement experiences (Twitter, Instagram). That’s precisely why #LoveThisTeam works so well. A quick look into Facebook activity shows an entirely different engagement experience: game stats, spending opportunities, more spending opportunities. The type of thing a 30y/o+ person would be interested in. It’s painfully obvious that the Jays have done their homework and are properly curating their content on each marketing channel to cater towards the people that will have meaningful interactions and spread the brand. It’s actually a job well done.

            • Well thank you for addressing that, and its interesting to think that they might see value in such a narrow approach– especially on an ad primarily for a medium, TV, that’s trending away from the target demographic as well. But OK, I’ll take your word for it that it’s better executed than it seems, because I’m clearly in over my head.

            • I thought the ad was lame and I’m 23, soooo…
              Maybe you liked it because you are “IN” marketing and you “GET IT”. Reality is, it sucked.

            • I thought the ad was lame and I’m 23, soooo…
              Maybe you liked it because you are “IN” marketing and you “GET IT”. Reality is, it sucked.

            • Hey Simon,

              I see what you’re saying but if the Jays aim was to go after 25 y/o and younger fans they wouldn’t have a robot running their twitter account. If they were seriously trying to use instagram/twitter/hopefully-not-pinterest to get younger fans they’d be much more engaged on that level, rather than trying to put hashtags on TV. Their twitter account would keep an eye on fan-created hashtags starting to go viral during games and use them, their instagram account would hand over the reigns to Jose Reyes and pray he doesn’t like a bunch of pics of girls in thongs while he has it. And so on.

              If they’re going after the younger crowd with this campaign, it comes across as an 50 year old trying to recite what the kids think is cool. As Stoeten said, TV is the medium these ads are showing on and the demographic watching them are 60 year old grandmothers as much as they are 22 year old kids

              I mentioned the Facebook search because I was blown away that they would create a social media slogan that couldn’t be used on the social media tool with the most engaged users. I cut this example out of the piece because the article was already getting too long; when the Jays tweeted about Happ throwing six scoreless innings it received 49 RTs and 9 favourites. That same post on Facebook got 169 shares, 1887 likes (think of it as a half a RT) and 349 comments. Why shutout a large part of your audience with these ads?

              I hear you on the growing new fans, but you don’t do that at the expense of every other demo. And if you want those young fans to feel engaged, really dig into twitter, etc.. and do it.

              • Dave,you’re assuming that Rogers is alienating one demographic at the expense of another.
                The target audience for these ads may not be the young hipster crowd but another segment of the population.There are many who read this blog for example who would like to participate in hype and stay informed.
                Regardless,it’s still not as bad as the time they dressed up the guy in the Blue Jays costume in scenes at the office.That thing creeped me out.

              • I also can’t help but wonder how thrusting the Davidis, Wilners, Campbells and Buck Martinezes of the world out there fits into what Simon is suggesting here.

              • Dave, I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. What’s the difference between #LoveThisTeam and Hustle & Heart or Hustle & Heart 2.0 or Beast Mode or whatever tagline they’ve use in any given year in the past? Did you know anybody that was using any of those phrases? Why does it matter if the tagline has a hashtag or not? It’s going to be ignored by 99% of the audience anyways. I don’t think they’re alienating anybody.

            • Simon,
              As someone who falls into that target demographic, I can assure you everyone I know thinks its lame as hell. Maybe it works better for the 12-17 yr old range.
              The first time it played, my buddies and I rewinded it to watch Jamie Campbell do the awkward hand “no dice” movement, to laugh at how stupid it is. The ad spot was a serious swing and miss. I will give #LoveThisTeam some credit, as its catching on a bit.
              Also, it’s become a “cool” thing for younger people to talk about the 92-93 Jays, even though no one can remember the games. It gives you cred. Just sayin

          • I don’t see them catering to the 30 something baseball nerds with a specific commercial just so we can feel special and loved and maybe even important, justifying our nerdity so everyone will know how awesome we really are

            look at me I’m Bernie Federko!

        • @Simon. This is a good point. A few years ago, many of the season ticket holders were older fans who were still wearing their 1992 & 1993 World Series T Shirts.

          Rogers is smart to get the kids interested in attending games. I did notice more twentysomethings at the games last year.

          I do like the AD script mentioned in the past as a way to tie in older fans with new fans.

          If the Jays do as well as most of us expect, downtown will be a big party all summer long.

          • Coincidentally the majority of the “fans” on Opening Night will be wearing those same 92′ & 93′ World Champions t-shirts but instead of purchasing season tickets they will only go to one game all year.

      • For those saying a nostalgia based add wouldn’t work with younger fans, and those saying a lame hashtag campaign doesn’t resonate with the 30+ set, how would you react to a broader, more inclusive approach? I’m curious. Would it work for you or would you consider it too wide a net? Run an ad like the one scripted above. Then, on the title card, after you flash 2013, flash #LoveThisTeam. Simple. Create one campaign that engages lifelong fans while reaching out to draw new ones in.

    • Some thoughts on Simon’s douchebaggery…
      1. Don’t want this to sound like a Led Zeppelin youtube video but I’m 19 and I think this campaign is utter shit…so there
      2. You may be “in marketing” but you’re clearly not very good at your job, because if you were you’d know that:
      a) Everything retro is en vogue hence the team’s awesome uniforms this year etc. Thus young people are not terrified by the past as you imply, and are actually interested stuff that happened 1980-1995 especially, for some reason
      b) Teams need to remind the fans and the “sacred under-25 market” that the team has history/pedigree and that it has won it all on multiple occasions
      c) Nobody under-25 is impressed by a twitter hashtag campaign slogan, only circle-jerking marketing execs are, people just want something memorable (which this isn’t, it’s generic as fuck)

      tl;dr you’re an idiot

  10. I want to see that commercial made!

  11. How many key players are going to go on the DL before the season starts?

    Not two, not three, not four, not five, not six…

  12. why do hipster guys have to hate everything?

  13. I actually got chills reading your script. Get in contact with Sportsnet. Seriously. Do it.

  14. Love the commercial idea – hilarious!

  15. Typical Hipster Stoeten. Cares more about his beard and WAR than watching the games.

  16. So stupid, Burrows. EVERYBODY knows Lawrie would be tearing the tab off the Red Bull as he shotguns it from the hole he made with his keys.

  17. This is great. The Blue Jays’ advertising has definitely improved over the years but yeah, their recent attempts to put all their eggs in the Twitter basket is weird and more than a little lame. There does seem to be an odd (and surprisingly large) number of people on Twitter who are happy to use whatever hashtags they’re told (usually alongside excessive exclamation marks and homonym-related crimes against English) but aside from that particular subset of keeners, this campaign doesn’t really have much mass appeal. Old people love watching baseball on TV and they’re all probably confused as hell, while the rest of us are rolling our eyes and feeling uncomfortable.

    Still, it beats those weird “anthropomorphic Blue Jays as marketing execs” ads they were rolling out just a few years ago.

    • Those blue jay birds in the boardrooms were horrible.

      I liked the ads that had Scott Rolen at a drive through ordering a burger.

      The Coming Home song in 2011 with Ricky Romero were also good.

      • Anything was better than last year’s Rasmus highlight clips to City & Colour’s “Fragile Bird”…although that might have been a bit unintentional.

  18. i cant believe you arent directing movies
    look out Lucas!

  19. The script of the replacement campaign is beyond lovely.

    • Honest Q:

      Last year weren’t many of us lauding the Jays for FINALLY getting away from playing the nostalgia card withretro jerseys and flashback fridays? Finally letting the team stand on its own?

      Now that they’re actually supposed to be good, they should. Go back to that?

      I don’t mind the ads, they won’t make me buy any more tickets (or less)… But I suspect I’m not the the target demo.

      • Valid points, and I agree that there has been an onslaught of nostalgia already piled on top us but I feel like this is a better use of that nostalgia than trotting them out on Friday night. The scene written does a wonderful job of capturing the feeling of the individual nostalgia in a way that shines the light on the new players a little more than bringing back the team to celebrate their own World Series anniversary.

        Like I said, it’s a lovely scene. I don’t think it’s as feasible as presented given the combined combined notice, compared budget, and time they’ve had all those players in the same room at the same time, but it doesn’t make it any less wonderful of a treatment.

      • Totally true, I’m sure I mocked it in the past so feel free to call me a hypocrite on this. Though with Delgado and Bell I tried to make it more Jays greats rather than 92,93.

        Honestly, I mostly wrote this so I could have Adam Lind resting on Olerud like a baby. It’s adorable.

  20. I believe that the commercials you see this year (like the Miami Heats player introduction last year) are created by Rogers Sportsnet. The TV commercials last year (and the year before that) were done by Blue Jays marketing dept.

  21. hard as fuck after reading what should be the new commercial

  22. YESSSSSS BONERTOWN! Fistpumps!

  23. I get that it’s a joke and I honestly thought it was really funny, but that said I am so, so glad that they didn’t feel the need to cram the 92-93 teams down our throats. They have plenty of great players to use for marketing on the present team, no need to go back to the nostalgia well.

    So while I agree that this ad campaign is pretty bad (especially the one with the Sportsnet people, which may be the lamest commercial I’ve ever seen), at least they seem to be living in the present for once. No need for flashback Fridays and world series reunions this year. The exception of course being the well-deserved Cheek and Delgado tributes, both of which I will attend and cheer as loud as anyone.

  24. best. yes.

  25. Favorite post yet Stoeten, Shi’s 2-seamer…classic.

  26. Awesome commercial. I’d love to see it

    You also have to include Derek Bell making an ass of himself and getting kicked off the plane.

    • Pat Borders handing JPA some tobacco would be classic too.

      Devo teaching Gose and Rasmus to shag flys like “mother effing gangstas” seriously made me laugh out loud.

  27. Dave’s post….

  28. I want to see DJFs version of the commercial. Seriously. I’ll pay.

    I’m with you on the lameness of this year’s campaign. We finally have the players to make the run for the post season. How about we see a bit more about them and what they do (baseball) in the ads?

    I’m sick of the Blue Jays and their twitter machine. I WANT BASEBALL DAMNIT.

    • Start a Kickstarter campaign. We might not hit Veronica Mars status but surely there’s room to show the suits what the people want.

  29. Everybody is with you in ignoring and hating the #LoveThisTeam nonsense, but I guarantee you if the Jays made that commercial there’d be numerous blog articles writing about how insufferable the constant 92-93 reminders are, about how it’s time for this team to built its own identity and stop shoving the past in our faces and blah blah blah. I’d love it, though.

    • 100%,

    • you’ve nailed it. more ’92-’93 nostalgia marketing would have been very bad. i think stoeten just meant that proposed commercial as a joke though, would obviously have gone way over the head of the mainstream audience. the team needed something fresh and awesome, what they’ve done is beyond awful.

      exciting, talented team in full-on go-for-it mode, awesome open air viewing area in CF, locally brewed beer in the stadium, proposed grass in a couple years… they cant get everything right (i’m thinking of morris on the radio). i think i’ll forgive them though.

  30. typical monday, hung over as all fuck.

    this post made feel better, now if only someone would make me some lunch

  31. I like the new ad campaign. Bright lights, Buck’s luxurious hair, the sportsnet crew all together with the team. I can’t really see why people would hate it, but to each his own.

    Only change I’d make to the directors cut would be for Gibby himself to stop Parkes and say: “[stamped censored over mouth] off, Parkes.”

  32. More than anything, I just feel embarrassed for the players when I see these adds. I was watching that Sports Net Blue Jays in Dominican special and they showed a few clips of the promos being shot and I thought to myself “how awkward must it be for them to prance around on a stage while like 15 people cheer them on”. Basically, I think the title of this post sums it all up very well “Love this team, Hate this ad campaign”

  33. We’ve come a long, long way from that stupid “Baseball North” campaign.

  34. I dont know who the hell you are Dave Burrows but this was classic literature.
    Stoeten, get this man on the payroll.

  35. If Buck pronounces anyone’s name right this year, he can be in an ad.

  36. I love the hell out of that new commercial, damn… We’re gonna see that get ripped off before the season is done, you watch!

  37. When does the regular season start again?

  38. love this post…

    the guy defending it clearly works for the jays marketing department…

    those commericals are lame… no other way to put it…

  39. First: I didn’t bother to read the post.

    Second: I don’t get baseball commercials that are supposed to get you, like, “amped up”, or, you know, fist-pumping in your living room. Baseball’s just not that kind of sport. Same goes with the ra-ra shit at the stadium: I’m supposed to be fully dimed to watch the red sox take three and half hours to play a fucking game? Or to watch Lawrie step out of the box thirty times to fuck with his gloves and grab his nuts? No. I am not. I’d go watch hockey or football or foxy-boxing if i wanted that.

    How about some commercials where the only audio is the crack of the bat, or the slap of the ball against leather, or the pouring of a beer? Or perhaps some in-game audio of witty bullpen banter, like Long Relief Guy relating sexual escapade stories with Closer? Or Off-day Starter telling Bullpen Coach what he did with Org Guy’s towel?

    How about?

    Thank you,

    Leisurely Baseball Enthusiast

  40. agree 100%. The campaign is beyond embarassing. I wasnt aware annoying me with baseball commercials was even possible…but it is. STAYYYYY DEEEE UMMMMMMMM LIIIIIIIIIIIIIITES

  41. It looks like Jamie Campbell is doing the Charleston in that first quick shot of him and Zaun near the beginning of the commercial. What in the blue fuck were they thinking?!

  42. #LoveThisTeam is a horrible hashtag for the Jays, as the article states. It’s so generic and really has nothing to do with Blue Jays, Toronto or baseball at all. How hard would it have been to use #GoJaysGo or #LetsGoBlueJays? Pretty hard apparently.

  43. This is only slightly better than #susanalbumparty

  44. “…to the left we see Joe Carter sitting in between Arencibia and Cabrera…”

    ARENCIBIA

    For the life of me Joe, I just can’t ever learn to lay off the breaking ball in the dirt. How did you do it?

    JOE

    Uh….

  45. HAHAHAHA… oh my god Stoeten. nailed it. We, the true Jays fans should start a #Ihatethiscommercial campaign..

    First thing I thought of was the Miami Heat concert debaucle… jesus christ, are you guys serious?

    Nothing gets me pumped up more than seeing Shi Davidi throw a pitch into the camera.

    • Dave, I really tried to make clear it was a guest post. I don’t know what else I could have done.

      • Haha it’s all good! I knew from reading other posts that all other writers are seen as your alter egos.

  46. I was about to tear into the author, accusing him of being bitter, contemptuous and jaded, but I gave it some thought, considered what he was saying and now agree with him, for the most part. I wasn’t married to the current ad campaign, but neither was I particularly critical of it. My friends, Jays fans all, seemed to like the ads and I thought it was somewhat cool to use Twitter and a hashtag as the focus. I’d never seen it done before, whether it had or not, so it seemed contemporary and cool to me. But, I really like the suggested ad. That would be really cool. I even have some ideas to add for future tv spots. Well done.

  47. #cringeworthy

  48. This proposed ad by Dave Burrows here is AWESOME and needs to be made. It connects current Blue Jays with great Blue Jays from the past, the way the new-old uniforms did when they debuted last year (and everyone agrees that that worked out pretty well).

    Some peeps here have commented that it dwells too much in the past, let’s move on to accommodate a younger audience. Fair enough, but I wonder if teenage Yankee fans (to take an example) scoff when they hear stories about Babe Ruth or Reggie Jackson. I doubt it.

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  50. I know this isn’t a forum for everyone to write their own commercials, but here’s one I’d like to see:

    First shot: A table with a plate of cookies, a pot of coffee, styrofoam cups, sugar packs, etc.

    Next shot: A door with a sign outside saying “AA Meeting Tonight at 7:07pm”.

    Cut to a room with all of the Blue Jays sitting in a circle on folding chairs.

    R.A. Dickey: (Stands up) Hi, my name’s RA

    Everybody: Hi RA

    R.A.: I was a New York Met for the past 3 years. I reinvented myself, learned to throw the knuckleball, even won a Cy Young, but I still feel like I don’t get the respect I deserve. Deep down I know it’s ’cause I’ve never been on a winning team. (Sits down)

    Mark Buehrle: (stands up) Hi, I’m Mark

    Everybody: Hi Mark

    Mark Buehrle: Last year I signed a long term contract in Miami. I was happy, the wife and kids were happy, heck, even my dogs were happy! But as quickly as it came, it was taken away. (sits down)

    Jose Reyes: (stands up) Hola! I’m Jose Reyes

    Everybody: Hi Jose Reyes

    Jose Reyes: (Big Smile) (sits down)

    Melky Cabrerra: (stands up) Hi, my name is Melky

    Everybody: Hi Melky

    Melky Cabrerra: Last year I had it all; batting title, winning team, all-star selection, respect. But then one little mistake cost me everything! (sits down and buries his face in his hands)

    Jose Bautista: Well you’ve all come to the right place. AA can help you.

    Alex Anthopolus: He’s right. No need to worry, you’re all Blue Jays now!

    The new slogan #12StepstoaChampionship is seen across the screen as it fades to black.

    Director’s cut:

    Andrew Stoten walks in and the entire team turns and stares at him. After an akward silence….

    Brett Lawrie: Wrong AA, bro.

  51. Completely agree with this post. The only metric I can stand is the saber kind.

  52. Simon says “my Mom thinks I’m cool”

  53. Can we start tweeting sportsnet about that ANNOYING Stadium Love song….my god…I get it….Edwin Bobble day on Sunday….play something else!!!

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