Ahh, memories. Foggy, crusty, old memories.
I’m not a particularly superstitious person. In fact, if you’ve read this site for any length of time you probably could guess what I think of most– if not all– superstitions. When the Jays opened the season, for the Game Threat, I Photoshopped an image of Jose Bautista and Edwin Encarnacion onto the heads of Joe Carter and Rickey Henderson lifting the World Series trophy in 1993. When a Facebook user wrote, “bad omen idiots,” I snarkily responded, “Oh yes, my magical powers of deciding baseball championships through shitty Photoshops has destroyed the Jays.”
Now, obviously I’m right about that. Obviously. I don’t have magical powers of deciding baseball championships through shitty Photoshops.
However, there was something else that I did in that post– that I did a few times during the spring, in fact. And that I did knowing– and intentionally spitting in the face of– the rummy coincidence it was connected to from back in the early days of the blog.
I wrote about it the first time back on May 11th, 2007, following the Jays’ having fallen to a ninth straight loss the night before.
Sorry guys, but I think I fucked up the season.
Goddamn it. My mistake. Shit. I am really fucking sorry for this. . .
Fuck. . .
I didn’t even realize what I was doing, but it all makes so much sense now.
Um… OK. You see, I think it all started when I sort of really angered the Baseball Gods.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but lately, every time I’ve used the phrase “Baseball Gods”, I’ve linked it to a picture of Chevy Chase.
The first time I did it was, uh… after Burnett’s rain-delayed loss in Cleveland. May 1st. The first game of the nine game (so far) losing streak that killed the season.
I don’t know why I did it. I just… did. I guess I thought it was kind of funny.
I certainly didn’t mean to offend anybody—least of all the Baseball Gods!
I guess maybe they don’t like Chevy. But dudes, Chevy is one funny fucking motherfucker. Fletch is a wicked movie, you’ve just got to watch it a couple of times to pick up on the subtle stuff.
Really, if you think about it, it’s kind of a compliment.
I know he’s never been in a baseball movie. I know he hasn’t made a funny movie since 1993. But he was in Caddyshack, for fuck sakes! Fucking Caddyshack! I think he’s fucking awesome! Honest!
Come on, Baseball Gods! Forgive me! Please!!!
(I am really, really fucking sorry about this everyone. Fuck. I am SO SORRY)
The Jays’ skid ended the very day that I begged forgiveness from the Baseball Gods, and the club played at an 88-win pace for the rest of the season. Granted, with the Yankees and Red Sox winning 94 and 96 games respectively that season, that wouldn’t have meant a hell of a lot. But still!
I did the Chevy Chase stuff for a larf again this year, and look at what’s happened!
So… obviously, while still not being some kind of lame-o superstitious jagoff, I’m… uh… I’m just gonna go ahead and nip any potential anything in the bud and say… uh… sorry, Baseball Gods?
Now can we please start winning some damn games? #TURNINGPOINT