DJF_header_April08

Ahh, memories. Foggy, crusty, old memories.

I’m not a particularly superstitious person. In fact, if you’ve read this site for any length of time you probably could guess what I think of most– if not all– superstitions. When the Jays opened the season, for the Game Threat, I Photoshopped an image of Jose Bautista and Edwin Encarnacion onto the heads of Joe Carter and Rickey Henderson lifting the World Series trophy in 1993. When a Facebook user wrote, “bad omen idiots,” I snarkily responded, “Oh yes, my magical powers of deciding baseball championships through shitty Photoshops has destroyed the Jays.”

Now, obviously I’m right about that. Obviously. I don’t have magical powers of deciding baseball championships through shitty Photoshops.

However, there was something else that I did in that post– that I did a few times during the spring, in fact. And that I did knowing– and intentionally spitting in the face of– the rummy coincidence it was connected to from back in the early days of the blog.

I wrote about it the first time back on May 11th, 2007, following the Jays’ having fallen to a ninth straight loss the night before.

Sorry guys, but I think I fucked up the season.

Goddamn it. My mistake. Shit. I am really fucking sorry for this. . .

Fuck. . .

I didn’t even realize what I was doing, but it all makes so much sense now.

Um… OK. You see, I think it all started when I sort of really angered the Baseball Gods.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but lately, every time I’ve used the phrase “Baseball Gods”, I’ve linked it to a picture of Chevy Chase.

The first time I did it was, uh… after Burnett’s rain-delayed loss in Cleveland. May 1st. The first game of the nine game (so far) losing streak that killed the season.

Fuck…

I don’t know why I did it. I just… did. I guess I thought it was kind of funny.

I certainly didn’t mean to offend anybody—least of all the Baseball Gods!

I guess maybe they don’t like Chevy. But dudes, Chevy is one funny fucking motherfucker. Fletch is a wicked movie, you’ve just got to watch it a couple of times to pick up on the subtle stuff.

Really, if you think about it, it’s kind of a compliment.

I mean, how many people are as successful and well known as Chevy Chase? Shit, they named a bank and a town after him. That’s got to count for something, right???

I know he’s never been in a baseball movie. I know he hasn’t made a funny movie since 1993. But he was in Caddyshack, for fuck sakes! Fucking Caddyshack! I think he’s fucking awesome! Honest!

Come on, Baseball Gods! Forgive me! Please!!!

(I am really, really fucking sorry about this everyone. Fuck. I am SO SORRY)

The Jays’ skid ended the very day that I begged forgiveness from the Baseball Gods, and the club played at an 88-win pace for the rest of the season. Granted, with the Yankees and Red Sox winning 94 and 96 games respectively that season, that wouldn’t have meant a hell of a lot. But still!

I did the Chevy Chase stuff for a larf again this year, and look at what’s happened!

So… obviously, while still not being some kind of lame-o superstitious jagoff, I’m… uh… I’m just gonna go ahead and nip any potential anything in the bud and say… uh… sorry, Baseball Gods?

Now can we please start winning some damn games? #TURNINGPOINT

Comments (55)

  1. Hope this works!

  2. sooo who should be pick with the second pick over all hmmmmm

  3. This was very big of you

    We all thank you for it.

  4. Ahh, I miss that old logo … it was my favourite DJF one of all.

  5. Well put.

  6. We have one thing to be thankful for – that the Jays weren’t featured on the cover of SI’s Baseball Preview. Just think about how many people would be moaning about the SI cover curse…

  7. You know what the best part about Fletch is?

    That the entire soundtrack is just synth. It’s like they finished filming they just set up some dude with a Yamaha PSS-570 and let him fill in the blanks.

    Magic.

  8. 2 games out of first place! Lets go get this mother fucker. How many years have we complained about being up against 95 win teams? Fuck this. We are in this. We’re winning the division and it starts tonight.

    (I’m trying positive for once).

  9. It’s like mentioning that you got a nice income tax refund, while sitting in your car.
    The Gods That Be will ensure that your previously smooth-running vehicle will now contract all manner of expensive fixes in the next while……adding up, coincidently enough, to exactly the amount of the aforementioned cheque. (Unless you’ve been a real douchebag and actually PLANNED ahead for the recreational disposition of your cheque – in which case, the repairs will cost DOUBLE.

  10. Happster tonight!!!!!!

  11. The baseball gods are probably peeved you didn’t call them Bill Murray.

    Chevy is great but come on – you gotta go with Bill when naming gods.

  12. Aaaaaaaaand it’s come to this

  13. Baseball gods are clearly not happy with the Jays… Carlos Villanueva pitches into the 8th inning against the Giants…

  14. Watching the Jays so far hasn’t been very much fun but it sure has been entertaining watching Boston lose to Baltimore!

    I think my 2 favourite teams in baseball are the Jays and whoever is playing Boston

  15. You gotta say it like you mean it though!

  16. little full, lotta sap

  17. Maybe it’s the use of ‘Baseball Gods’ that’s the problem, and not Chevy.

  18. Chevy in his bucked teeth and pesticide outfit talking about cockroaches multiplying by masterbating.

    Nectar.

    You did it Stoeten, we are going on a 5 game win streak.

  19. KGBS’s top 5 all time comedies :

    Caddyshack

    Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

    The Big Lebowski

    Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas

    Office Space

  20. Thanks Stoeten it’s big of you to admit it’s all your fault, this should fix it. (I hope).

    • I was wondering the same thing. However it’s not often someone admits he is a big “O.” Good on you Stoeten!

  21. Should we all be more direct in our prayers? Should we email – or chant at – Vin Scully now, or later?

  22. This post made my day. Granted, I’ve had a fairly shitty day…but hey…good stuffs!

  23. Buddhisms not too bad of a superstition.

  24. Confession is good for the soul….lets hope it helps this mini-funk the Jays are in.

  25. We need a live rooster…

  26. Not a sincere apology. This changes nothing!

  27. It worked they won tonight, who would ever have thunk it.

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