I learned it from watching you!

The Jays return home today after picking up their first series win following a near-sweep of the Royals in Kansas City, meaning that there’s a new chance for unruly, lunatic Jays fans to make themselves a story!

A lot of words were written during the team’s first, less-than-stellar homestand about hysterical fan overreaction to the poor start — several of them by yours truly– but not necessarily a whole much about their media-paid hysterical spirit animals, who generally stuck to tsk tsking in the wake of Opening Week’s plane-throwing, pitching-coach-booing, drinking, fighting, running-onto-the-field antics.

This weekend, however, the headline writers and reporters showed mouth-frothing fans that they still have a thing or two to learn, and made the rest of us wonder if perhaps what seems like the bipolar nature of many Jays fans has more to with how their worst impulses are infuriatingly empowered by what they read.

Richard Griffin of the Toronto Star, for example, had a piece titled Jose Reyes injury devastating to best laid plans.

“ The Jays won that battle but ultimately may have lost the war,” he says of the Friday night game in which Reyes was lost for three months.

“Beginning from Day 1 of spring training back in mid-February, it had already become clear that the one player the Blue Jays could least afford to lose from their revamped, ready to compete 2013 roster was their all-star leadoff man Reyes,” he writes.”

Griff, to his  credit, shows some restraint and some sense, however. “It has come to pass that the most difficult man to replace in the batting order now needs to be replaced,” he says. “Successfully bridging the timeline until Reyes returns will be Anthopoulos’ most difficult challenge. Despite the stunning loss of Reyes, there is no Blue Jays excuse for not contending.”

He’s bang on about that last bit, at least.

Doing Griff one better, over at Sportsnet, is Michael Grange, who writes, in The worst start imaginable, that “in one stray, strange instant, a slow start became the worst start imaginable. I think it’s okay for Blue Jays fans to worry now: a possible season-ending injury to your best player might be a small sample size, but it’s all you need.” [Note: huh?]

He adds that it’s now dawned on us that, despite all the hype, “there is the possibility that the whole thing just might not work at all.”

“That was the bogeyman lurking in the dark psyche of every fan, whether they wanted to admit it or not; that things would keep going wrong and the Blue Jays would make like the Florida Marlins or the Philadelphia Phillies or whoever else that simply did not get it done despite talent on paper,” writes. “But one of the main reasons to stay optimistic through the first two weeks has been the revelation that is Jose Reyes.”

And now… well, obviously it’s time for panic.

But even Grange’s piece is an exercise in restraint and respect for his audience when compared to the cake-taking nonsense that dribbled out of the brain of Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun in Jays season feels lost before it has even started.

It’s low-hanging fruit, I know, picking on the Coxes and the Simmonses of the world, but holy fucking idiot-empowering jibberish:

The season is less than two weeks old and Reyes is gone, Brett Lawrie hasn’t been here yet, Jose Bautista has been limping on a troubled ankle, Ricky Romero never arrived and the promise of a summer to remember seems already lost before the summer even begins.

Through two weeks of bad fielding, lousy hitting and and worse starting pitching, it was easy to cling to the baseball notion that it’s a long season. It’s early, but it wasn’t that the Jays weren’t winning, it was how they weren’t winning that was troublesome. And after Friday’s nights win — a defeat with Reyes at second base, a victory on the ball field — it’s hard to cling to anything optimistic.

RIGHT??? I mean, what’s to be fucking optimistic about when you’re talking about a club with Jose Bautista, Edwin Encarnacion, Brett Lawrie coming back, last year’s NL batting champ* and Cy Young winner, a bullpen full of live arms, Brandon Morrow coming into his own, another pitcher who was worth nearly four wins last year– in his first season dealing with not having the same fastball as he once did– and a season that still has FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS remaining.


I mean, reading this kind of stuff, is it any fucking wonder that the drooling masses thought last year’s maybe-if-everything-goes-our-way squad was going to really be something because of their record in fucking SPRING TRAINING games decided by five innings worth of Triple-A dreck, and that this year’s disgustingly stacked club is now practically finished?


Comments (57)

  1. What no article by Cox comparing the Jays and Leafs futility? He’s slacking these days.

    • The Leafs are competent. Cox has no material right now.

    • I can’t believe I just wrote the words Leafs and Competent in the same sentence.

    • The Toronto media likes to prey on weak-minded casual fans too lazy or stupid to form their own opinions, with melodramatic doom-mongering “journalism”. What’s new?

      I mean, the Star has goddamn Dimanno actually writing serious articles on the Jays. The fuck?

      • Yeah, totally unlike sports media elsewhere. *eye roll* Sorry. I just hate when people pretend this is a Toronto media phenomenon when it’s really not at all.

  2. With very few exceptions, there seem to be only a few types of columns that journalists trot out. You’d only have to look back a few months, I’m sure to find recurrence. Changes the names of the players, stat lines, whatever, and put today’s date on them and we’d never know the difference. Can we give names to the half dozen or so?

  3. Wait till you read Griffin’s column about Lawrie at second base that he just posted…

  4. pitching wins games. Jays got a shit load of it, they just need to bring it all together on the hill, and we are starting to see signs of that, and the the BP has been great over the first 12 games, with a bump here and there, but overall, good. Not worried, at least not yet.

    • Oh my goodness.

      “The Blue Jays are seriously considering the idea of having Brett Lawrie play second base at the major-league level when he returns later this week, at least until Jose Reyes returns from his ankle injury. That would leave Jose Bautista playing third base, with Munenori Kawasaki filling at shortstop — until they can find an upgrade in trade or purchase from another major-league club.

      That Lawrie decision seems a sign of panic from the Jays as contenders and an indication that they believe the signing of Maicer Izturis to a 3-year, $10 million contractsigning of Maicer Izturis to a 3-year, $10 million contract was a mistake.”

      WHAT?! Does he actually think Munenori would start over Maicer Izturis? Can he not comprehend that the point of the move is to keep Bonifacio out of having to play second base, not getting Izturis out of the lineup? Ridiculous. Griffin the worst.

      • Oops. Meant to post this under the Griffin comment.

      • @ Bret:

        That’s what i got from Griffin’s article as well – does Griff really think Maicer will ride the pine? And Bonifacio’s defensive misgivings will at least be somewhat hidden in the outfield (can’t hide that noodle-arm, though!)

        And I think the move is not so much panicky as it is reactionary: how do we field the best possible lineup with the talent that we have on-hand?

  5. Stoets:

    1. I wish your posts were mandatory reading for every fan before they enter the game.
    2. I wish your likeness would pop up in the corner of a web page (like the Microsoft paperclip dude) when reading the Simmons’ and the Cox’s etc….that would be awesome.

    I have been following DJF for a few years now. It is the only place that I trust to get my Jays info.

    Keep up the good work.

  6. And uh oh. Bautista not in the lineup tonight. Instead we have this pile of garbage:


  7. WHAAAAAAAA? Look who’s batting 3rd.


  8. Ruh-oh

  9. I read this while watching the White Sox take batting practice and it makes me realize something; you’re right. We’re missing our two most exciting players but I still get to see Cabrera, Bautista and Encarnacion bash the ball tonight and we’ve still got a legitimate chance at winning every ballgame we play.

  10. Simmons need to move far, far away. I like the double and and in his sentence, like he just cant fucking get the shit out of his mouth fast enough.

    “Through two weeks of bad fielding, lousy hitting and and worse starting pitching, it was easy to cling to the baseball notion that it’s a long season.”

  11. I see 2 or maybe 3 guys that should be MLB regulars…

  12. If the Jays were totally stacked and ran away with the division it wouldnt be as fun as it will be this year when they win with a bit of adversity.

    P.S Simmons is slow. and by the way, what ever happened to his brain?

  13. Uh, would love an explanation why Bautista isn’t in the lineup.

    Hope it’s just a day off.

    • I’d figure with the lineup as it is, even if he got a “day-off” he’d be DHing. I’m concerned.

    • It looked like he was looking at his wrist after a couple at-bats in KC. I hope that was nothing and this is unrelated.

      • Let’s fucking hope it’s nothing to do with that. He was looking good at the plate Sat/Sun I thought.

  14. I am going to go ahead and guess that Griffin, Grange and Simmons all own gold and that is the reason for their panties being in a bunch – sub 1400 today

    gold, or downtown condos

    either way they are fucked and just want to piss in your cornflakes

  15. Where has anyone found out that Bautista won’t be in the lineup tonight? I’ve done my runs through google/sportsnet/my yahoo fantasy team…


  16. Yuck, the Jays DFA Casper Wells and bring up Ramon Ortiz. Gross.

  17. good use of “dreck”

  18. bye bye Casper the friendly Wells. those vernon shirts will have to stay in the closet

  19. the classic chicken or the egg!

  20. Thanks for writing this post. You opened a subject that extends beyond d the first two weeks of this season.

    Unless it’s an interview with AA (to see what clues we can glean by reading between the lines), I have completely cut out the rabble rousers from my aftermarket enjoyment of the sport.

    It’s like they all have decided that a version of a John Oakley “get them mad so the’ll call in” is the only way they can stay relevant.

    It’s not true, if they weren’t so lazy and developed good stories they would be better off in my opinion, but that is a lot to ask from these dinosaurs who are having their entire view of their area of “expertise” challenged by stats that they are afraid to go learn. So instead of realizing the inevitable death of the narrative, they decide to go out and create super narratives as a form of counter attack.

    The market will always take care of inferior goods and services, so a suggest getting some popcorn and watching these guys all go the way of the Marty York. They can’t hide in the bubble off their local market anymore.

    I could go on, but these guys, and the people who take them seriously are really not worth it.

    Stoeten, at the end of the day these guys are your peers and colleagues (wether you or they like it), a low tide lowers all boats, so keep on calling them on their lazy work.

    • I dont know if Simmons et al. are Stotens colleagues. I mean Stoeten can tell people to go fuck themselves. The Toronto Star/Sun might not like if Simmons and Griffin tried it.

      • I’m not sure if Stoeten has a press pass rubs much elbows with these guys, but they are colleagues in a profession, sure maybe a some what an expansive use of the word, but in my opinion true none the less.

      • Re: “The Toronto Star/Sun might not like if Simmons and Griffin tried it”

        That is another part of the issue with these guys, the editorial slant/business arrangements with other parties (remember these guys just fill the space between advertisements). It dictates where they can go with their work, and ultimately make it terrible.

        Don’t get me started on that.

  21. I loved listening to Wilner talk yesterday about how the team will be ok after his call of the Reyes injury Friday night rivaled the call of the Hindenburg disaster for drama and hysteria.

  22. When did Grange decide to join the crazy-train? He’s normally relatively solid. He’s probably just trying to conjure up internet traffic to his writing. No excuse for shoddy writing though.

    I’d like to hear what you (Stoeten) think of Lawrie moving to 2b with Bautista back at 3b? Have Izturis and Bonafacio already fallen so far?

    From what I’ve seen this year (less than half the games), their D has been far below average. Since they aren’t exactly lighting things up with their bats, maybe this move makes sense. Does seem a bit reactionary/quick though.

    Also, what do you think the Jays should/will do at ss and in the outfield (assuming Bautista plays 3b as proposed by other sources online)?

  23. Don’t panic. There will be plenty of time for that later.

  24. Wells DFAed, Ortiz up, Bautista not in lineup.

    Hopefully, the Ortiz/Wells thing is an indicator that Bautista’s issue isn’t serious. Otherwise why would they send Wells down for a long man?

  25. Is it me or does it seem like everything has went wrong so far this season?

    That being said – we were so close to being at .500 right now.

    If we actually get a positive break or two….

    • That’s one of the joys of have lots of talent on a team. Even if things go wrong, the talent mitigates it from getting too bad (most of the time).

    • The problem is expectations.
      The reality is that the team will look different in Sept.
      All teams go through the unexpected ebbs and flows.
      It’s how AA reacts and the depth of the system.
      Look at the Yankees. Even they’ve had to adjust with Overbay,Wells,Youk,Nix.
      There will be more adversity ahead for the Jays.Let’s see how they adjust.

      • Then get rid of the problem.

        How do you do that?

        Stop listening/reading to the fools who promote unreasonable expectations.

        Who are they?

        This post covers a few of them, and you know who the others are.

        Start enjoying the sport on your own terms.

  26. Unless the order is they dumped Wells and then found out Bautitta is hurt. Fuck,

  27. I was thinking about this during my morning jog. Perhaps the Brett Lawrie move to second is not as insane and panicky as I first thought. I DO believe it to be a panicky move if it is a short term deal, but, ironically, if it is done with a long term outlook….we might have something here.

    When Reyes comes back and returns to SS, you could keep Jose at third, lawrie at second…and then shore up your outfield with a big bat that is sure to become available near deadline time…or go the route of gose for big defense and speed.

    now we are talking about a solid, well rounded team.

  28. Stotes, makes me sad that you didn’t link to the amazing commercial that accompanies the photo. Ahhh yes, the war on drugs. Solid times.

  29. All of that and no morons post. Wow you must really like the Toronto media.

  30. Tampa bay has had an even worse start to the season that us….atleast record-wise

  31. I think that Stoeten should try to interview Simmons and find out if he is legit retarded or if he knows his job is to rile up the masses. I mean, does he even want respect? Is he interested in actual reporting/analysis or is he basically like a hockey enforcer who doesnt get to play if he doesnt do what he’s paid for? I mean, can anyone actually be as stupid as Simmons and have such an awesome job, or is he kind of like a bad-guy wrestler who, once the tv is off, doesnt actually for real go around suprising dudes with chairs to the head?

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