Eight-year-olds, dude.

The Jays try to bounce back from their manager’s failure to score two runs on Dylan Axelrod tonight, as they go for the series lead against the visiting White Sox, with J.A. Happ on the hill taking on Jose Quintana.

That creep can roll.

Jose Bautista is out again with back spasms, as mentioned in the previous post, which apparently can’t just be lingering soreness that nobody can goddamn well be expected predict the end of with the accuracy of a electron microscope. No, seems it requires some kind of fucking conspiracy theory on the level of “It’s not a lie when we know the truth,” John Gibbons making moves to intentionally backfire, the Marlins being willing to make the same exact trade with the Jays either with or without Mark Buehrle and his massively backloaded contract in it, or whatever other hopelessly inane things from the comments section that had me holding my face in my hands out of shame for humanity for half the fucking afternoon.

So… yeah. Go Blue Jays! Or maybe just “Jays,” if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.


There hasn’t been any new scuttlebutt to speak of since I tacked a bunch of it onto the Bautista post below.

However, for your between-inning listening pleasure– and because there was no Daily Duce– here’s today’s edition of the Getting Blanked Podcast.

TV: Sportsnet

And now, the lineups, by way of the live box score at theScore.com. And for those of you who’ll be out and about, be sure to follow all the action on your phone with Score Mobile

Toronto Blue Jays

RF Rajai Davis (R)
LF Melky Cabrera (S)
C J.P. Arencibia (R)
1B Edwin Encarnacion (R)
3B Brett Lawrie (R)
CF Colby Rasmsus (L)
DH Mark DeRosa (R)
2B Maicer Izturis (S)
SS Muenenori Kawasaki (L)

J.A. Happ LHP

Chicago White Sox

CF Alejandro de Aza (L)
3B Jeff Keppinger (R)
RF Alex Rios (R)
DH Paul Konerko (R)
1B Adam Dunn (L)
LF Dayan Viciedo (R)
SS Alexei Ramirez (R)
C Tyler Flowers (R)
2B Tyler Greene (R)

Jose Quintana LHP

Comments (293)

  1. It’s time to straighten up and fly right.

  2. Lind belts a 3 run hr…..book it.

    • or maybe not.

      Stoeten you still have Kawasaki batting right…I think he is switching it up tonight and batting left.

      • Gah. I keep coyping a mistake on that front. Thanks– yes, he’s hitting left as always.

  3. That’s how you get a ball in centre

  4. “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~Babatunde Olatunji, baseball philosopher


  6. Quite pretty.

  7. Well there goes the rad in my truck. gg.

  8. We got a date Wednesday, baby.

  9. Dickey pitching tomorrow, beautiful game forecasted…OPEN THE DOME?

  10. “Go Blue Jays! Or maybe just “Jays,” if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.”

    Wouldn’t someone “not into the whole brevity thing” prefer Blue Jays over Jays?

    Rewrite: “Go Jays! Or “Go Toronto Blue Jays,” if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.”

  11. Fuck

  12. Walks kill

  13. see, Rasmus WOULD’ve caught that ball yesterday

  14. Cletus in centre field makes me nervous.

  15. Looking extra shitty tonight

  16. For fuck sakes, where is the offense? This hack away approach really pisses me off. Make the pitcher work.

    • Couldn’t agree more…a new approach is so overdue…we make mediocre pitchers look way too good

      • It seems like they always take the 1st pitch but that’s it. Then they turn into crazy free swinging idiots. And as soon as they get a strike on them forget about taking anything. It becomes auto-swing.

      • They need to adopt the nyy and bos grind it out approach. That leads to way more consistent success on offense. The only 1 that seems capable of doing that is kawasaki and thats scary.

    • They’ve had a hacky offense for years.

  17. “whatever other hopelessly inane things from the comments section that had me holding my face in my hands out of shame for humanity for half the fucking afternoon”

    If the only thing humanity has is the DJF comment section, we’re severely fucked.
    Other than that, we’re watchin baseball.

    • Say what you want about the tenants of National Socialism but at least it’s not the DJF comment section.

    • Stoeten might have to pass the baton.

      It’s early to allow the DJF monkey army to cause him such despair.
      Somewhat Chicken Littlenishness, as a matter of fact.

  18. Why are we playing a DH who can’t catch up to a 91 MPH fastball?


    • This guy is not a shitty pitcher. He is actually quite decent.

      As far as a “new approach” and not hacking away, the guy has been getting ahead of them all night with first pitch strikes which they have been taking.

      how bout this? how bout they get some fucking hits?

  20. Getting tired of these guys fucking around! They need to start hitting ASAP

  21. Kawasaki for prime minister

  22. time for the whole team to switch to asics bats?

  23. I vote we cut off Melky’s johnson.

  24. Can someone please get Melky some HGH


  26. Davis-RF

    Cringe worthy lineup they’re running out there

  27. Rajai isnt the best outfielder in the world

    • How is it a double if you drop the ball ? just because he had to run a ways to get it? Is it not expected that a major league outfielder makes that play?

    • Neither am I. I don’t get paid a few million dollars to suck, however.

  28. Unrelated question:

    Why are LHP (starters especially) so valuable? People say its scarcity, and that people aren’t used to seeing lefties, yet most batters are RH, and most RHB hit better against lefties? This seems to be contradictory.

    • Because lefties dominate lefty hitters more than righty hitters dominate left pitchers….AND most teams have better lefthanded than right handed lineups.

    • Watch Lind and Rasmus against LHP and you’ll get your answer. RHB might be marginally better against lefties, on average, but LHB are way way worse. Overall that seems to make lefties more valuable (that and that they’re a lot more rare).

    • In short

      Lefty hitters are used to seeing the ball from righties. Right handed hitters are used to it too. Right handed hitters have adjusted, lefties have not.

      You always hear about left handed hitters being owned by left handed pitchers. Hence the idea of the LOOGY..

    • Un fucking real.
      SportsMD and CG stop making up shit and trying to fuck up somebody who’s asking a legit question to learn more about the game.
      It really pisses me off.

  29. Remember when Lawrie had some semblence of a selective approach?

  30. Aww, Lawrie cut the curls off.

    The Wayne Rogers look was working.

  31. You think Mark Derosa as DH instills fear into anyone besides Jays fans?

  32. Rasmus just struck out, guys.

  33. Man, I hate how the the three stooges are washing the CHW 5th starter’s balls instead of saying that the blue jays are hitting like shit

  34. Jays are making opposing pitchers look like Nolan Ryan.

  35. Now that Colby has flailed away and struck out twice against a lefty, can the people who bitched and moaned about Gibbons move last night admit *maybe* he made a reasonable decision?

  36. This team is literally unbearable. I had more fun watching them last year

  37. Tabler’s funny

  38. Everyone was making fun of the Sox this offseason, downplaying the effect Farrell would have on their struggling pitchers…and lo and behold..guess what…Lester and Buchholz are back in form and the Sox are looking mighty fine while we continue to wallow in suck.

    • Good point. Farrell isn’t running the team like gongshow Valentine.

      They do have some quality players like Napoli.

      It’s still early in the season, but they are doing well now.

  39. Derosa’s grit and leadership #’s are off the charts.

  40. This roster has no depth, its only equipped to handle 1 injury at a time

  41. Asian dude is by far our best hitter right now.

  42. Kawasaki is the only muitherfucker on this team willing to grind out a long at bat.

  43. Why is it that kawasaki is the only player on the team that has a good apprach ar the plate? Its pathetic.

  44. Kawaski the lone bright spot in this game

  45. I think watching Derosa’s shitty attempt made me officially depressed. Like Needle in the Hay depressed.

  46. Pretty bad when Kawasaki is one of the better hitters on the team. He’s the only guy having professional at bats up there

    • Hey now! Buck and Pat always talk about how Derosa will “give you professional at-bats”. Let’s not forget about him. He gets at-bats and is employed by a professional baseball league.

  47. Sigh…nice to see one guy on the team that can grind out an at bat and draw a walk (bows)

  48. Uh oh, runners in scoring position. Inning over.

  49. ANOTHER opp for Cabrera, but I am not holding my breath. Why doesn’t he just hit left against a lefty as he hits so much better as a lefty.

  50. Kawasaki knows, foul them off, waste pitches and make them work.

  51. Lets see what melk man can do here.

  52. (Break Television)

  53. It would be nice if the Jays would stop licking asshole.

  54. Someday, the Jays might get a hit with RISP.

  55. Fucking white sox have had 5 total base runners and scored 4 runs.

    can you imagine if we could score 1/3 of ours?

  56. That Kawasaki AB was awesome.

  57. So uh…when are these guys supposed to get good?

  58. Can we officially rename this team the Toronto Bed Shitters? Instead of I Love BJs we could make T shirts with I Love BS. Which you would have to, in order to follow them for any length of time.

  59. The only guy pulling his weight ( albeit small) is fukin Kawasaki who is supposed to be filler. He fights off pitches, battles and is willing to take a Fukin WALK and not think it makes him less of a player( ya listening Lind)?
    Yeah, it’s only 10% of the season, small sample size and the usual euphemisms, but you know what, these fuckers don’t know how to play ball!
    Yeah I know swing for the fences guys-2 solos a game and we’ll win 2.5 out of 5 all year.
    I just hope Reyes comes back to meaningful games, because right now they are fukin painful to watch-reminds me of last August. I’m goin DRANKIN!
    Forward Soviet!

    • There are some other bright lights. JPA is hitting timely HR’s.

      It’s too bad that Jose Bautista isn’t available.

      At what point in the season do expectations get lowered?

      The team was thought by many to win 90-95 games this year. each loss , however trivial makes the odds of winning that many games smaller.

      Happ had a rough outing & we got see Ramon Ortiz for mop up duty.

      It will be fun to see how Stoeten spins this loss. 1 game out of 162? No big deal? Blame Happ? Weak offense? Attack the bandwagon jumpers? Attack posters?

      It was a big step on the DJF podcast last week to acknowledge that losses in April count in September.

  60. OMG! That Ramon Ortiz? I remember him from the Angels. “Little Pedro”

  61. Oh Ramon, you look fantastic. I thought you were still in Tijuana.

  62. And here I thought having Ramon Ortiz on the roster was a waste. AA knew we’d need someone now for those games that get out of hand!

  63. I think they should pop up to Adam Dunn a few more times.

  64. lol .073 batting average with risp at home this season….womp womp womp

  65. Preach it Jack! Run management!

  66. Umps are calling everything on Lawrie a strike.

  67. Listen i know were missing our 2 best hitters but the yankees are mssing several top hitters yet they have still managed to score more runs. It really comes down to hitting philosophy and if mottola isnt preaching taking more pitches then get him the fuck out of there. Certain hitters are free swingers by nature (jpa, davis) and u cant change them much but its inexcusable for hitters like lawrie, rasmus, and cabrera to be having such poor ABs.

  68. CORBY swing at strikes (but not balls)

  69. Stoeten is fired up about the comments section eh?
    is this site reserved for baseball experts?
    I admit I don’t know as much about baseball as some on here, with their sabermetrics and all. Im a fan I watch the games, read this site and others online. I don’t agree with or understand some moves Gibbons makes, I get pissed when the Jays lose, I rant on here, I cheer on here. my advice, don’t take the comments so seriously, the level of baseball knowledge here varies. Not everyone has to agree with you in order for them to make a valid point.
    If you want only baseball experts posting on here, you will only have about 4 posters from what I read.

    • Which 4?

      • Settle down RADAR you qualify (:

        • Just fuckin around, there’s a lot of people much more knowledgable than I.
          I’ve learned a ton readin DJF.

          • I cant understand why Stoeten gets so fired up about comments on here because they are 1 of 2 things. Either someone not knowledgeable in baseball ranting or people obviously trolling for his reaction.
            For the person not knowledgeable, make a post explaining the situation ( I was pissed about the davis pinch hitting last night I still don’t think it was a good move, but the more it was explained to me the more I realise why the decision may have been made, even if I don’t agree with it) for the people trolling, who cares?

            • There are a bunch of managerial decisions made each game. Some you can debate and make an argument for both sides.When it works, the manager’s a genius, when it doesn’t he’s a goat.
              It’s an easy game to understand but at the highest levels,it’s incredibly complicated.
              I’ve spoken ( actually didn’t, I listened,LOL) to people who’ve played or managed at high levels. I’ve been awed at how much more they see and how little I know.
              If you ever get the chance, try it. Incredibly enlightening.

            • +1.

              I didnt realize when I started posting here a few years ago that we all had to swear a blood oath to sabermetrics & a detached nonchalance about the team’s performance.

              It would be nice if Stoeten spent less time attacking his readers who do generate revenue for his website through site traffic & posts & focus on what is going with the team that we do care about.

              I realize it;s fun in a high school sense to attack “less knowleageable fans” , but it’s kinda lame.

    • Agreed. The level of hostility on the site has grown as it’s popularity.

      It seems that posters have to follow “Stoeten speak” in order to get along with the cool kids.

      If you analyze the posts there is usually a “one the one hand” this player ,coach etc “sucks”, but “it’s not wrong” to criticize the player coach etc..

      The forum would be more entertaining if various fans viewpoints were allowed to be debated back & forth with some salty language.

      Stoeten should be proud of his blog that has become more popular since 2009. He has achieved hipster cred & there is very good aggregation of Jays information.

      however, I am bit concerned by the alleged “Wilnerization ” of the comments.

      A few years ago, Wilner would get outraged if Jays talk callers would use the term “we” to discuss “their ” team.

      Wilner wanted to project the notion that he was an impartial observer of the team.

      The fact is that Sports talk works because fans “fanatics” get emotionally attached to their team.

      If we didn’t love Baseball & the Jays we wouldn;t bother following the team closely & agonizing over every loss.

      I hope that we will be able to celebrate a Jays playoff appearance this fall. I already have my tickets for the season finale against the Rays. I hope that game means something.

      I don’t understand the vitriol posted against fellow fans on this site. The fact is if you didn’t care about the Jays , you wouldn’t post here.

  70. If I told you two weeks ago by the middle of the month Rajai would be leading off with DeRosa at DH on the same night. What would you have said?

  71. Just wait till next year

  72. 6 Runs 6 Hits! for Chicago
    0 Runs 4 Hits! for Jays

    more to come

  73. It would appear that, for tonight, the Jays still enjoy licking asshole. Guess it’s back to paying attention to the girlfriend.

  74. 3 strikeouts for Colby. Sooo much better to have him bat vs. Rajai. Clearly that was the gamebreaker last night.

  75. Trade all these shitheads at the deadline. At least we can rank #1 in farm systems again.

    • If the crowds stay at 15k (and with the way the team’s playing they’ll go down if anything) we’re going to be witness to a fire sale of epic proportions in the offseason, if not at the deadline. It will make what Loria did look tame. Rogers isn’t going to put up with paying twice as much and ending up with a shittier team.

      • I hope you’re trolling because this team doesnt need a fucking fire sale even if they finish 4th this year…LOTS of team friendly deals and lots of ARB/Pre ARB guys…beside Buerle’s monstrosity and Ricky if he can get sorted there arent any bad contracts after Lind is gone at the end of the year… Again I assume you’re trolling but the core of this team is well contructed from a finacially perspective…

        • $125 mil payroll (and going up with raises to Buehrle etc) for 70-75 wins is not a financially well constructed team. We could have kept last year’s team for $70 mil, gotten the same number of wins and attendance would have actually ended up better because fans would have had realistic expectations instead of being massively cock teased. They’ll keep the pre arb and arb guys (except for Rasmus) but if we end up 4th with 75 wins, no chance you see Dickey, Melky or Reyes in a Jays uniform next year. Hopefully they can bundle Buehrle in with one of those three. Wouldn’t be surprised to see Bautista and EE go either if we can get something back.

          • As Stoeten would say “it’s early” for that talk. I do think there is a 3 year window to compete with the current roster.

            There was always an injury risk with Reyes, & sadly it happened 10 games into the season.

            Bautista has missed many games so far this year. Will it continue? I hope not.

            The starting pitching is reverting to normal.

            I do agree that 75 wins would damage the team. Would Rogers force AA to trade anyone to cut payroll ? No.. because the economics of baseball have changed & for now the ratings etc justify having some big stars on the team.

            It is a classic story of the MLB of the team that is supposed to wn on papaer in March doesn’t. Not the first time or the last.

  76. Watching the game on mute.

    Did Zaun just give advice on clitoral stimulation?

  77. Remember when they brought in Denbo to be the hitting coach? Yeah him. Made everybody take pitches and they were always 0-2 and we hit like 145
    These guys on this team for the most part get themselves out by swinging at everything and being 0-2 half the time , which means they pretty much swing at the next pitch no matter where it is ( tonite alone I ‘ve seen SO’s against a marginal thrower on balls over their head, in the dirt and so on). Denbo lasted 2 months. I think Mottola lasts longer but if he can’t instill some kind of discipline so there is a happy medium he’ll be the fall guy for sure

    • Or put Murphy back, we hit well last year…

    • Agreed , but I see Rasmus and Davis and Lawrie digging the same 0-2 holes as they did last year just about every AB.
      Here’s something interesting: Alex Rios had to LEAVE Toronto to get his swing back. For some reason the Jays couldn’t stop him from swinging from his back foot. Now of course he’s hitting over .300

    • I’m glad you brought it up first fukstik. I was talking with a friend earlier, wondering if all the coaching changes may have left the Jays unprepared: fielding, hitting in particular.

      Maybe it’s nothing, but I’m beginning to wonder.

  78. Ortiz has a serious Richard Pryer Brewster’s Million vibe going on.

  79. Can we actually bring a good reliever from AAA to fill the long man role??Where the fuck is lincoln? Anyways fuck it, today is not their day.

  80. If this keeps up, after the Yankee series is over, attendance will be heading lower again I’m afraid. These guys are playing like a last place team and they better stop deluding themselves that somehow they’ll play 600 ball against LAA, TEX,OAK, and detroit and tampa if they can’t handle this shitty Chisox team at home or Cleveland at home or Boaton at home. Yeah, I know, it’s early. Repeat it often enuf and hope the rest of the league believes it. I want a mulligan

    • Sounds to me that you actually want a Murphy.

    • It’s odd because the Jays used to sweep the white sox at home in the past few years. Get off to a good start and gradually fade.

      This year it’s the opposite. Will the Jays catch up?

      Stay tuned.

  81. Mike Carp for MVP!

  82. Yes buck and pat, Konerko wanted to bloop a single in, he was planning that all week.

    • Tabby was actually on his knees for that call…”He’s so strooong through the zone”.
      Look how his hands just reach out and flicks that ball to center for an out….

      Enough already, its Ramon Ortiz!

  83. See, you actually are allowed to shorten up on two strikes.

  84. Thanks to Ramon Ortiz and Dave Bush, people will think the Jays have a shit bullpen too.

  85. the hardest part for me watching this game is that the BJ’s dont like they’re close to being a good team yet.

    i know the cool thing to say is that there are 148 games left, but how long can you say that for? i dont mind the loses when they look like a good team, but they’re not even close to that right now. it’s hard to not worry a little bit when they cant pass the eye test for 2 games in a row.

  86. Anyone else find it irritating that Cleetus just did the fist pump (2 outs) hand gesture on a catch that cashed Chicago a run and put them up 7-0. Am I just being stupid? It kind of reminds me of a wide receiver making an excited first down mark in football when his team is down by 30 points.

  87. Yeah keep popping up to Dunn!

  88. What’s Lind’s purpose on this team again?

  89. Welp. I’m going outside to kick some raccoons.

  90. Kawassaaaaki! If only he could hit 9 times

  91. Kawasaki’s our best player :/

  92. Justin Trudeau: in way over his head

  93. Kawasaki OBP = .500!!!!!

  94. Kawasaki and Davis with 4 of our 5 hits…

  95. Cletus’s line for tonight: KKK

  96. Kawasaki or derosa for 25 th man if Everyone is healthy?

    • ‘If everyone is healthy’ is like saying ‘when pigs fly.’

      If the only threat is time, then the best weapon to exercise is patience.

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