For those of you unfamiliar with the long, sordid history of this site– back to the days of inside jokes like the one above, in which I believe Bergkamp likened Marty York, formerly of the Globe and Mail, Metro, and (perhaps not formerly) submitting blank Hall Of Fame ballots save for the written-in name of Pete Rose, to the spam emails he got for dick pills– Marty York, and his reality-detached ramblings, was used as something as a foil for us. Which is just a way to mangle the language into sounding more polite about how we pretty much just looked at what he wrote and mocked it with the derision of 1000 suns. Which… actually was par for the course for every writer who crossed our paths back then, now that you mention it.
York was a particularly delicious target, though, for reasons that Parkes scathingly, hilariously (now for different reasons) pointed out when York crossed the line in mid-May of 2008, suggesting that in the near future John Gibbons would be fired by the Blue Jays, and that his replacement would be Cito Gaston.
“Remember when the Jays were going to sign Shawn Green?” Parkes asked at the time. “Or when Josh Towers was on his way to San Diego? How about when Toronto was interested in adding Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte?”
My thinking is that York is the constant subject of ridicule among some of the higher ups in the Jays organization, and they totally get a kick out of fucking with him. I can almost picture a suited junior J.P. getting York’s extension at The Metro. “Marty, guess what,” he says in a hushed tone while the entire office is quietly chuckling around his office. “It’s so and so from the Jays. I’m phoning to tell you that we brought Barry Bonds up to Canada for a try out. Unfortunately, he went off like a crazed grizzly bear at customs and ate four officials. We’re trying to keep this hush hush, but because of your . . . journal . . . journalistic integrity,” he almost loses it there, “I trust you with this story.”
Of course, it rather insufferably (for a number of reasons) turned out Marty was right, prompting me to later quip that, hey, “know you know old saying, even a fuckin’ hack is right twice a decade.” We were so charming, weren’t we?
Now, obviously, that one shining moment certainly doesn’t give York a free pass shovel whatever bullshit he wants to into the ether and expect people to take it at least semi-seriously, except… maybe it kind of does?
And despite having been disappeared from my radar for a number of years now, York– and it genuinely does appear to be him– has resurfaced in a big way this week– in pretty much exactly the way that I predicted he would, if we’re dick-measuring shots in the dark here (and I think we are)– tweeting to his tens of followers that, once again, John Gibbons is on his way out as the Jays’ manager.
Last-place #Jays swept in NY. Changes coming. John Gibbons, okay guy, could be out as manager tomorrow, I’m told. Shakeup clearly required.
— Marty York (@MartyYork) April 28, 2013
And he brought another gem on the subject as I was writing this post:
Bulletin: #Jays will not lose today. . . .They don’t play. . .Braintrust figuring out who to hire as manager to replace poor John Gibbons.
— Marty York (@MartyYork) April 29, 2013
Personally, I don’t think the Jays could possibly be that fucking stupid– it’s not like Gibbons has done anything wrong or that the players are so fucking meat-skulled as to need some big, pointless, showy move to give them a sense of urgency about their situation. But… well… you know the old saying…